Could I have been abused and not remember?

[ashley95]

Never talked to anyone about this before, but the forums have inspired me try. When I was 9 I discovered that I enjoy the feeling off something up my butt when i'm horny. Every since then when I masturbate, I usually put my finger up there. I joke about it with my friends, they all say it's gross and would never do that. I play along, but deep down feel guilty that I really enjoy it. I feel weird. My mom and dad are divorced. I grew up with my mother, she remarried when I was 12 and remember that my step dad was mean but other than that I don't recall any abuse. I moved out of the house when I was 14 to live with my real dad. When I think about going to the doctor when I was that age, all I remember is her making me lay on my side while she took my temperature from my butt. Is that strange to only remember that?

[Sith Lord 13]

Is it possible? Absolutely. Is it likely? Not so much. It's a little odd that you remember only that about the doctors, but really none of the things you've mentioned are major red flags for abuse. Some people just like anal.

[RoseyCadaver]

It is possible,a lot of people suppress things they don't want to remember.It doesn't really sound like you were abused ,I think.Thing about the butt,there is way of getting stimulation there,maybe you realized you liked it a young age,and tried it again later.I hope you figure out things,the best of luck-Salt.

[1_21Guns]

Pretty much what Alex said, it is indeed possible, it's called surpressing memories, however it is also fairly rare. The doctors use that method for many reasons, not nesassarily abuse. If you found you liked it, that may explain why you remember it. The important thing is to not get ideas into your head, if it's something which concerns you that much, there are methods of finding out through hypnosis etc, but personally I don't think it's the result of abuse, just merky childhood memories

[houdeka]

I highly doubt it. If you've ever heard of a fetish, you have one. As a child at some point in your development you attached sexual meaning to things that are non-sexual. Usually it is a relatively benign, harmless quirk but there are cases of extreme paraphilia where people say they are aroused by pain or even the harming or killing of another. You have an anal fetish.