Step dads punishments suck?!

[dannyhendon]

I'm 13 guy and my mom an dad aren't together anymore. Like with my dad he was strict sometimes like grounded for stuff and I did get spanked Upto like 10 and my younger brothers still are. But my step dad new rules suck so much. I have gone back to getting spanked I feel like a baby and my younger brothers are still spanked too.

I don like it its like its embarrassing. Like my dad hardly spanked me. By now my step dad is so strict and he's just wierd we all get hit on the legs my dad never did that:/ its too hard to never get it because we've got like so many new rules even swearing once it's like I'll tan you if I hear the again !

Urg what can i do

[georgiamay]

Well, it's not abuse. Personally, I disagree with using corporal punishment, but it's not illegal.

If you find it embarrassing, that's probably why he does it, as a deterant. Honestly, if you don't want to get hit on the legs or spanked or whatever, just don't break the rules. It might be hard having some other guy punishing you for things that your dad never punished you for, but he's not really doing anything wrong.

If you don't want him to do this anymore, you could always try and talk to him about it? Or maybe you could talk to your mum?

Or maybe you could just not break the rules, unless they're completely unreasonable, you don't really have an excuse to break them.

[dannyhendon]

Dude honestly we are all trying real hard to not get hit and my mom doesnt help she's always like its Upto your step dad if you get hit.

Like even stuff line if me and my brother like start fighting when were in a store my step dads like RIGHT when we are back home soon as you get in bare legged to your room.

Stuff like that dad would just shout at us and then he would be cool

[MadManWithaBox]

If you misbehave, you get punished. Straight forward to me.

[ackmedsgirl666]

sure a punishment seems ok but your never supposed to hit your child
i had my step mom charged for that and she never did it again nor to her own children
so yes what he is doing is wrong and technically is a form of child abuse not punishment. sorry ur going through what i did man

[MadManWithaBox]

Corporal punishment isn't illegal. Unless it's excessive.

[Neverender]

Your step dad is trying to humiliate and scare you so you don't challenge his dominance. Unfortunately, he's protected under the law (Although I beg to differ), What you need to do is get in his face when he wants to do that to you. Fight back. Say no. If he hits you then, it's abuse. If he threatens to take something away, it's blackmail. I feel for you. But you are 13, and I think thats a little much for a parent to be using corporal punishment at that age. You DO have the right to say no. Remember that. Get your mom involved. Tell her. Even make her guilty enough to stop your step father if you must. The issue here is that your parents still make you out to be as a small child, while physically you might be small, but emotionally and mentally you are much more developed, and as such your parents should have the respect to speak to you as an adult; not as a whipping boy.

Corporal punishment isn't illegal. Unless it's excessive.

It's archaic and undermines the respect and mental facilities of children and teens who endure such punishment instead of having a conversation.

Fortunately, in Canada, it's essentially illegal thanks to The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms' guarantee for equal protection of the law an of freedom from cruel and unusual punishment.

And

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, of which Canada is a signatory. As is the US, unfortunately, in the US, Spare the rod, spoil the child stuck around.

[ackmedsgirl666]

what parent in gods mind ha sa right to embarass their children by punishing them like seriously
this is just fucked up

[MadManWithaBox]

It's discipline. Nothing more. Speaking as someone who was beaten hy his father nearly very day from when I was born to when he tried to kill me. And then most days till what happened when I was 15. It's not illegal. Different people, different punishments.

[Bougainvillea]

Honestly. I think at 13, spanking is degrading. He's becoming a young man and deserves to be treated and punished like one. My dad stopped spanking me when I was 8. And after that it was a good talking to. Whenever I abused his trust he told me so, and told me how he felt and to me, that is a worse punishment. Spanking does nothing when you aren't a kid anymore.

Its not a question of wether its illegal or not, but how it makes the recepient of the spanking feel.

It shouldn't be treated as just discipline "plain and simple". What good does discipline do if there's no message being sent besides one that is degrading and makes you feel embarrased.

[Pancakes]

STUPID PARENTS gosh there should be a law against parents even hitting their children

[ackmedsgirl666]

STUPID PARENTS gosh there should be a law against parents even hitting their children
thanks
finally someone who agrees with me

[Bougainvillea]

Its not the issue at hand. There is a difference from spanking when you are a child, and how you respond to that, and when you're older and the lack of response.

Its not a beating. That is illegal. But spanking is necessary for some.

[Ambrosia]

I personally believe there is nothing wrong with spanking a child. I was raised with three punishments:

-Spankings
-Washing your mouth out with dish soap
-Slapped

There's nothing wrong with him spanking you if you're under the age of, oh, say, 10, but once you hit that age...it's just silly. And you should point that out to him. Ask him for a better punishment, at least. Or just stop getting in trouble for childish things like FIGHTING with your brothers in public. It embarrases him too, which is probably why he does it then.

Corporal punishment has it's place, but not accessively or too teenagers and so on.

[Sith Lord 13]

Whenever I abused his trust he told me so, and told me how he felt and to me, that is a worse punishment.

You do realize there are a lot of kids who that wouldn't phase right? Hell, some of them would take it as a form of encouragement. I believe corporal punishment has its place, and the age at which it should stop is very dependent upon the child.

[Bougainvillea]

You do realize there are a lot of kids who that wouldn't phase right? Hell, some of them would take it as a form of encouragement. I believe corporal punishment has its place, and the age at which it should stop is very dependent upon the child.

Which is what I've already stated.

[dannyhendon]

Its just real hard some times like we all have got. New step dad who has given us millions of rules and I can't even remember them all so we keep messing up:(.

[Azunite]

"Step Dad's Punishments Suck"

So in your opinion punishments are generally good but only his punishments suck?

[dannyhendon]

No not like that, like when I was grounded n stuff that is better than having to take my pants off and getting legs hit for stupid little things all the time

[SosbanFach]

Well we are lucky here in the UK.. You are now not allowed to hit your children as theres a law & guideline has been put in place few years back

as far as I'm aware, corporal punishment is legal in the UK, although not in schools

[morbidmonkey]

where i live its ok to spank ur kids. i dont get spanked but i had a friend who would sometimes come to school with really dark bruises on her arm. thats not even the worse thing

[dannyhendon]

I have never had bruises but my legs have been red before like sore! I guess it's because im older than my brothers i grt really embarrassed! Like taking pants off is like Urgh!

My mom doesnt even get how I feel shes always like hes your step dad and he makes the rules not you:/

[Ambrosia]

Obviously, getting grounded didn't stop you from not doing the things you were grounded for. So what do you expect? If you don't learn, then punishment will get worse, until eventually you get kicked out of the house for just NOT LEARNING the rules.

I only speak this from personal experience. My parents went from spanking my bottom to grounding me. When that didn't work, they began slapping me (At an older age-teenage years). When that didn't work, the threats of moving out began.

[Lethe]

Unfortunately, even though some of the rules may be ridiculous, it's probably best if you do as your step-dad says so that you aren't punished. It's not illegal to spank you unfortunately, so you can't do anything about it really except doing as he says :/

[DerBear]

had to say that ^^^ now to answer the post

i have never been hit by my mum not once or my dad as i grew up independant due to my family were always working abroad at the time of ages 1-10 aand i did go with them but not always but anyway i find physical punishment is ok as think your dad must feel you and your bro fighting your 13 not 3 that is embarising so in a way hes doing the same to you

grow up and mature simple

EDIT not double posting i wanted to deal with that issue above seprate before i answerd this main question

[beag_amhain]

no parent should ever hit their child, it builds up so much hate in the child as it gets older, it shud be illegal everywere, does not matter wether you see it as 'punishment' or 'abuse' it is wrong either way

[davisbr2]

notin

[Schizothemia]

As someone mentioned earlier, try talkin with him. However, the purpose of spanking is to be humiliating and to stop you from doing whatever you did in his mind to warrant the punishment. Instead of looking for other ways to avoid spankinh you should instead re-examine what exactly you did to warrant it and realize you shouldn't do it.

For example, fighting in public with your brother, that is inappropriate behavior so you were punished for it.

Sometimes it takes the recognition that maybe you are doing something wrong and not everyone else.

[DJZS]

Feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk. If it really is bad, what he is doing may be illegal

[Timmy93]

shoot tell him to back off or just try not to get in trouble as much like prove him wrong

[jovien]

i dont know if its my parents but anyone of my step parents touch me (hurtful wise) its like they are done

[CoolCaliGuy]

This might sounds odd, but im 14 and my mom has had a bunch of bfs, if one of them dared touching me i would beat the shit out of them.
So my advice for you is fight back or just tell him no

[DerBear]

This might sounds odd, but im 14 and my mom has had a bunch of bfs, if one of them dared touching me i would beat the shit out of them.
So my advice for you is fight back or just tell him no

When I read the first Post, What I seem to get from this is that the kid deserves it as he is being imature fight ect, His step dad punishments are maybe a little over the top but again as it can be justified and he is not just beating up this kid because he feels like it, No real crime has been commited

Now to think about this lets see how to stop this oh yes JUST DONT FIGHT OR BE IMMATURE

[Bye I left]

Where I am your only allowed to hit your children On there ass. My dad used to hit me on my ass while i was 13 still until he learnt I hit back. I dont reccomend you hit your step dad! I just used to SOFTLY kick him in the back of the thigh but hard enough he knew I did it out of a power scale from 1 to 10 probally a 4 or 3 it kinda worked like a charm I only ever had to hit him twice.

[georgiamay]

Please don't bump old threads. :locked: