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View Full Version : Need help with a predicament with girl's family


Iamthetaco
June 22nd, 2011, 02:23 AM
Hey, first post, gotta explain what the said "predicament" is:
I was home schooled until 8th grade, went into middle school, and met this amazing girl. She's fun and pretty and smart. We talked all summer and still talk. She had a bf all through 10 months after I met her, it was a long distance relationship, and it was horrible. I got to know her very well, I know everything about her now, she is bipolar (thought it was depression before, not diagnosed for bipolar yet but its for sure) and has a psychotic mother whonis bipolar as well, along with a father with anger issues. What happened was last september her bf broke up with her (turns out he was a player) and I was dating another girl, I guess you could call it trying to move on but I did like this other girl. I broke up with this other girl for the girl that Ive been talking about, but she was still in love with her ex, and didn't want to go out. We kinda have been friends with benefits, no sex. Last november I asked her tongo to the movies about a month after the last time we went. All of a sudden her twin sister, younger sister, and brother wanted to come, and the mom was going to take them with. That changed the plans with me, so I decided to bring my twin brother, which changed the who's picking up who, thus making her mom pissed. She through a fit and made my lady friend cry, which the mom thought was a hussy fit and she cancelled the entire thing. I got unbelivably pissed and started talking shit about the mom to her. I got so angry because the mom has almost ruined her life, insulting her and making her alone feel like shim not the other siblings (as much). They hate each other, and I was about to call the social services on the mom for mental abuse, and I was testing about it. I made a status on fb "I hate this sick woman" without saying a name, yet the mom got suspicious, looked at her texts and saw what I said. Her fb got disabled, phone taken away, and the mom started telling me to "get help". I said I wanted her dead but I was never going to injure her. She can text me now and we talk on the phone when the evil mother is gone studying for exams, which is all the time because they think she's having an affair.

Long story short, that family hates me and I love that girl. I can't go out with her because of her twin finding out would make it worse than it was before, and the mom holds such strong grudges that I can't make it any better. I apologize for my explaining, it's 3:20 AM right now. Im 15 and 7 months and she is 14 and 11 months. Does anyone have any advice for me? Seriously any advice, experinces, comments, anything.

LuckyLuke
June 22nd, 2011, 09:13 AM
I'd STRONGLY recommend discussing this with your parents (if you don't want to mention that you like this girl, you don't have to) and see whether or not they think CPS should be called. If you don't get a reactive response from them, consider contacting your/the girls guidance councilor or a teacher you can confide in at your school and discuss it with them. Don't tell the girl you're doing this because she may not approve but the truth of the matter is that this can't continue if it's as severe as it's been written by you to be.

As for liking her, well, you must really do because you're going to fight through hell and back to DATE her. Be aware that after all of this chaos happens she may be too distraught to even consider dating you but this shouldn't prevent you from doing what was mentioned in the earlier portion of this response.

Furthermore, if she does decide to date you, be aware that YOU will be her lifeline. You will be her everything. If you break her heart because of something stupid she'll have little left. If you're prepared for that, go for it, but that's a huge burden to carry for a 15 year old.


SIDE NOTE: Don't EVER, ever, ever type on anything that can be traced from private text messages to a PUBLIC forum such as this or Facebook that you want someone dead. It can be considered a threat and, gd forbid, she ends up dying- who do you think they'll be looking at? You don't want to get in trouble for something as silly as a message made in haste.

Best of luck,
Lucky Luke

Iamthetaco
June 22nd, 2011, 07:51 PM
I was ignorant of saying that, and I never said anything about that on facebook. I feel so stupid for saying that. I have talked to my mom, and she got mad that her mom got ticked and went at me instead of talking to her. I am trying to make her tell her dad to make a counseling appointment to get checked for bipolar disorder. It seems like it would make matters worse to call CPS, so I am not going to as of now. I also have no evidence other than what she has said so that doesn't help my case either... & I am already her lifeline. We are so friging close... she's my best friend.

LuckyLuke
June 22nd, 2011, 10:47 PM
I'd still suggest discussing this with a guidance councilor. They can bring her in and talk about it privately and if she wishes to discuss it, it will be discussed. Otherwise it'll just go on like this.

Iamthetaco
June 22nd, 2011, 11:47 PM
I do discuss this often with my counselor, but are you saying I should bring her in with me or what? She is going to get counseling soon.. She did have it for 4 years but she never opened up... Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you

northskater110
June 22nd, 2011, 11:53 PM
Luke's on a roll.

Bring it up with someone with power. Also, I doubt you will like the sound of this, but try to apologize to the mother as a last resort. Worst she can do is continue to hate you, but still try to keep contact with that girl.

LuckyLuke
June 23rd, 2011, 11:44 AM
I do discuss this often with my counselor, but are you saying I should bring her in with me or what? She is going to get counseling soon.. She did have it for 4 years but she never opened up... Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you

I'm saying that you should bring up to YOUR guidance councilor the abuse that you say she's being subject to and you need to express the true gravitas of the situation to her.

patrick99
June 23rd, 2011, 12:24 PM
I don't want to sound insensitive here but hmm.......well that would be too much for me to handle. But if you really like this girl you should't give up. I recomend following Jusus Christ and asking God into your heart and pray about the situation and if it's his will God will allow it. Don't expect it to happen right away. If you want to know more message me.

Marky
June 23rd, 2011, 02:29 PM
sounds like a horrible situation to be in buti would say and i think this is what luke means is to tell the guidence consuler what to know than ask them to pull her out seperately without u their too talk to her, if she is already in counciling and hasnt opened up this might push her back into her shell. but if she want to seek help than this should work to know that someone cares for her that much.

Also i also say to go apoligize to the mom because she might have ruined your plans but that doesnt give u the right to rant about her EXPECIALLY to her daughter. i say bad things about my dad but it still hurts when others tell me bad things about him so u could just be making her feel bad because its one for her to say it and release anger but for u to say bad stuff about her mom also damages her/

Iamthetaco
June 23rd, 2011, 08:54 PM
I know, I need to apologize. & Luke, I have discussed this with her. & Dan, I've prayed like crazy, and He has blessed me in this situation. I'm so glad I believe. There have been times where I feel like I wanted to give up, but I haven't.... Thank God..

patrick99
June 24th, 2011, 11:42 AM
God says there will be realy tuff times in life, he's stregthing you to be a solider of God. This is your time he's testing you.

Iamthetaco
June 24th, 2011, 09:47 PM
And I fully understand that... I just wish It wouldn't persist for 7 months, and most likely until she's 18 so that's about another three years...