Help please?

[CyanideGoodnight]

So, I have the suicide hotline on my phone, but My aunt checks who I call online for the bill and stuff and so I can't call or she will find out, and I'm honestly not ready to go down that road yet, and don't want to any time soon. also, she would hear, and I can't have that, either. This is to the point where when I am suicidal all I can do is breathe. Which, obviously, I don't want to do. any advice what I should do? Should I call and not care? should I pretend it's a friend? And ALso, if I ever should call, what exactly should I expect?? Help is much appreciated.

[Lethe]

You definitely need to call the suicide hotline, regardless of how your aunt will act or not. If she cannot care enough about you to allow you to call a suicide hotline, well...I don't know what to say. I think she needs to be more kind about it if that is how she is going to act.

[Havok]

Your Aunt should be helping you, if you think something negative is going to happen because you sought help, then she needs to rethink her attitude. Just remember that your life is more important than anything she could say or do.

[Iris]

i worry about the exact same thing-that my dad will see if i call the suicide hotline. Instead i talk to ppl online (like vt) because no one checks my laptop. Maybe you can do that too if you're really afraid your aunt will know if u call?

[User Deleted]

You could also try talking to your school's counselor ;)

[CyanideGoodnight]

Yeah, thanks guys, I think I'll just talk to people online and stuff.

[brokengirl16]

you should talk to your aunt i know you think it's going to be scary telling her but your loved ones are the one who should help you through the roughest times in your life xx

[CyanideGoodnight]

Eh they do, but I can't have them worry so much. Also, my aunt already thinks I do so much other stuff that's not true, I can't have her KNOW something worse then what she thinks is true.

Becides, what she dosn't know, I don't have to talk to her about! Eaiser for me that way. Becides, I can't just go up to her and tell her, I know you mean well so thank you :)

[FullyAlive]

I have several suicide hotlines in my phone too! Sometimes the number doesn't actually appear on the bill, you could try finding one like that. As for what to expect they just talk things through with you, don't push you but try to make sure you aren't in any immediate danger.

But as for talking to your aunt maybe you could tell someone else, if you tell someone else such as a school counsellor? If you talk to them, it's most likely they'll have to tell her anyway. But that way you can get help, and I think you need it. :hug: