controlling boyfriend or am i just a bitch?

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I love my boyfriend chris,
but hes controlling over a lot of things.
i mean he has good intentions, and ther all pretty reasonable but heres what bugs me:
1.he knew of my lifestyle way before he liked me
2. if i tell him no on some things then he'll say ok its your disision but i just want you to, and then i'll feel guilty.

i've quit smoking cigs for him,quit cutting [i dont mind that though:|] stopped smoking salvia for him, stop drinking on weekdays for him, trying to cut down of pot for him, started going to all my classes for him and probably more.

some of my firends are getting tired of it because i'm running to class becuase i'm late saying "fuck hes gonna be mad that i'm late" or if i slept in a missed a class. and then my other friend asked me for a cig and i'm like "sry i quit again" and she said "oh yea for your boyfriend again".

its just really starting to bug me, hes acting like my father, my best friend today even said to him when he told me i'm not skiping third period today "yes father" and he gave her this really pissed look".

then we were walking and i was telling my friend about this parrot at my firends house iw ent to for 20 min yesterday
and he goes "you lied to me, you said you stayed in."
i said: "i told you i smoekd, i jsut didnt say where" and he saisd omething along hte lines of why didnt you tell me. i asked why he needed to know and he said because i like to know, i said "you need to nkow EVERY SINGLE place i go? EVERYTHING i do?
jesus!
he got a little mad, but he got over it, i laughed at how mad he got with my best friend later.

am i out of line? or what should i do?
advice?

[Sapphire]

If I am to be perfectly blunt and to the point I would say that he is the problem, not you. He is acting like your father, not your boyfriend. While he is doing this do you feel you can have the proper loving relationship a boyfriend and girlfriend should enjoy?
It is not reasonable to fly off he handle because your girlfriend visited a friend and hadn't told you straight away. Getting you to quit smoking and cutting and drinking in week is all well and good. But does he really have the right to exercise so much control over how you live your life (even if it is for the better)?

I think you should take what he says (when he says "ok its your disision but i just want you to") with a pinch of salt. If you do this then you can do whatever it is that you want to do without the following guilt. The only reason he says it like that is because it is the classic way to make someone feel guilty for doing something. With you feeling guilty he can control you further.
I am not saying to dump him, because you do love him and things can be rectified. Let him know in a gentle and reasonable manner that there are certain things (like smoking ciggies) that you want to do and express how you feel about being told you can't. Or something along these lines. As long as you are reasonable and calm then he should be accepting, if not entirely happy.

[Hyper]

I think you dont know the meaning of a controll freak

He is just a bit more mature than you and wants you to have a good life later. And skipping school and shit wont do good for you. Neither will drinking/smoking/cutting/weed do good for your health.. About the 'controll' he is just a bit over caring.. Just reason with him

[Underground_Network]

I think you dont know the meaning of a controll freak

He is just a bit more mature than you and wants you to have a good life later. And skipping school and shit wont do good for you. Neither will drinking/smoking/cutting/weed do good for your health.. About the 'controll' he is just a bit over caring.. Just reason with him

I agree with hyper. In my opinion it seems he's helping you turn your life around. Unless he starts telling you to stop doing things you enjoy that are good for you, such as certain activities such as going to the mall or playing sports ( but not smoking, drinking, getting high, etc.) you should stay with him and take his advice. I think he should give you a little leverage, but the reason he's so suspicious when you go somewhere with him unaware is because you give him lots of reasons to be suspicious. If anything he's making your life better, so i don't think he's controlling to the point of it being bad nor do i think you're a bitch. I also think that over time he will give you more and more space. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS!!!!!!

[Fiending_the_freedom]

i know hes not an controll freak, but he has no right to be controlling over such things as those because HE drinks and smokes and does drugss TOO

[serial-thrilla]

hes controlling but hes controlling you in good ways i guess.

[Underground_Network]

Well if he drinks, smokes, does drugs, and doesn't let you do any of the above then he's a douche. If he is trying to control his problems like he is trying to control yours i don't think he's that bad, but if he's arrogant and thinks he's on top of the world and thinks he can make you do anything than you should get out of that relationship. If both of you can get your problems under control, you to could have a bright future, possibly together.

[Octo22]

i know hes not an controll freak, but he has no right to be controlling over such things as those because HE drinks and smokes and does drugss TOO



He's a hypocrite if that's true, but is he as bad as you were?


I mean he's trying to help you in the long run. I mean the fact that you were doing all that isn't too smart. But yeah, tell him how you feel, in a polite way, none of the snarky yelling and seeking a fight.

[Hyper]

If he does the same stupid shit as you did or still do.. Tell him to stop with you

[RowanVer.3.0]

He seems like his heart is in the right place. I don't really get why you'd be mad that he's trying to get you to stop doing things that are unhealthy for you.

He seems like something great that's happened to you, in my opinion.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

i dont know, i guess i'm realllly not use to having anyone control me in any feild even if its for the better. also i think i'm unhappy in teh relatiobnship [but i love him so i'm gonna make it work] so i was just looking for a reason, you know?