Fire. Calming.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

For those of you who don't understand the base psychology behind pyromania, click here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyromania)

I've had my matches and pocketknife taken from me under grounds of "you're not stable". For a bit I was allowed fire under supervised conditions, but apparently when you keep burning your fingers semi-intentionally that gets it taken from you completely.
As far as I understand it, candles are off limits. Motherfucking candles.

I don't get it. I'm not an arsonist, everything I set is controlled. Hell, usually I just light matches and let them burn out (or blow them out if they're burning too close to my fingertips)

Just.. FUCK I WANT TO SET SOMETHING ON FUCKING FIRE.
It's fucking calming.
I know I'm slowly loosing it,...but it helps at least for a little while.

I don't know what to do

[Joshh97]

:( I'm sorry, but I don't think you can do much about it, just try and take your mind off it.

Thankyou so much, you have actually solved all my problems.
(Don't tell me off)
I used to set shoeboxes alight full of paper, it sort of makes sense.

Hope you feel better soon :)

[AllThatYouDreamed]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Wish I knew how though, fire is how I tend to take my mind off what else is bugging me (ATM, being sick and some shit in family)

Also, use a metal pan. Shoeboxes are flammable and less than great for containing a fire.

[thebgsamuel]

i just use a lighter to calm down sometimes but i dont burn stuff unless i am realy angry which happens only rarely...

[Love.Hate]

I dont suppose you have like a log fire or something in your living room? cause i can find it quite relaxing to sit there and watch the flames.. but if not i think having a lighter is a good idea.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

i just use a lighter to calm down sometimes but i dont burn stuff unless i am realy angry which happens only rarely...
Lighters can be fun to just flick and let out. My fingers don't like to work them half the time though, not sure why because I can use the big lighter things you use for lighting a grill.
(Annnnnyone know what they're called?)

I dont suppose you have like a log fire or something in your living room? cause i can find it quite relaxing to sit there and watch the flames.. but if not i think having a lighter is a good idea.
Nope. No fire place. And it's been night lows in the 70s(...20C? +/-) so it's too hot to have it on even if we had one.

Lighter or matches, yes. But apparently 1.5 degree burns (almost blistered) on your fingertips says "no matches for you!" Unfortunately Dad agrees with this, so I'm kinda fucked.

Anyone know sane ways to deal.
I kinda don't want to turn back to self harm anymore than I already have.

[Syvelocin]

On a somewhat unrelated note, you can work those big lighters? I've never been able to for some reason! :P My mum would tell me to light a fire as a kid in the fireplace and I always asked for matches because I could never figure that damned thing out...

Mmm, yeah, other than typical coping mechanisms, I can't really think of anything else. The same sort of self-harm alternatives could work here. I've never had matches or lighters taken away from me. I do have a minor version of this that I see surface with my candle and incense obsession (and I do have many lighters around as well as I'm a smoker) that, yes, I find it calming as well. I just like to stare at fire sometimes. I used to do more than that as a kid, but I kept it very secret. I would only let something burn until it started to stink too much that my parents might have found out, so I kept it to candles usually or just the lighter. I don't know if I would call it pyromania, but I've always had something, whether it was boredom or an obsession, with lighting things on fire and watching them burn.

If you're not setting your arm on fire, I don't understand why you aren't allowed these things when you were before. I see the concern, but there has been no breach in trust yet, so there's no reason for them to not trust you or be worried about it honestly. You might have burned your fingers a bit, but it doesn't sound like you were taking the fire to your skin trying to deliberately create them (correct me if I'm wrong, however). It sounds like part of it just comes from your parents not understanding this fully, or at least sufficiently.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

On a somewhat unrelated note, you can work those big lighters? I've never been able to for some reason! :P My mum would tell me to light a fire as a kid in the fireplace and I always asked for matches because I could never figure that damned thing out...
Yeah, I know. :P You'd think I'd ahve an easier time with normal lighters since my hands are actually kinda tiny, but noo the big ones are the ones I can use. Slide the thingy down, then press the button

Mmm, yeah, other than typical coping mechanisms, I can't really think of anything else. The same sort of self-harm alternatives could work here. I've never had matches or lighters taken away from me. I do have a minor version of this that I see surface with my candle and incense obsession (and I do have many lighters around as well as I'm a smoker) that, yes, I find it calming as well. I just like to stare at fire sometimes. I used to do more than that as a kid, but I kept it very secret. I would only let something burn until it started to stink too much that my parents might have found out, so I kept it to candles usually or just the lighter. I don't know if I would call it pyromania, but I've always had something, whether it was boredom or an obsession, with lighting things on fire and watching them burn.
Eh, since the causes are the same as for SI, I guess the solution could hold some/alot of overlap

Yeah, boredom can be a trigger too, but that's more easily remedied if it's just "i need something to do"

If you're not setting your arm on fire, I don't understand why you aren't allowed these things when you were before. I see the concern, but there has been no breach in trust yet, so there's no reason for them to not trust you or be worried about it honestly. You might have burned your fingers a bit, but it doesn't sound like you were taking the fire to your skin trying to deliberately create them (correct me if I'm wrong, however). It sounds like part of it just comes from your parents not understanding this fully, or at least sufficiently.
Not that it was deliberate, but that I made no effort to prevent it from happening, which is unusual for me. Normally I make damn sure it doesn't touch my skin. That's what caused the panic, and I'm pretty sure I have to prove that I'm stable (difficult to do when you're not, but yeah) or getting there to get either one back.
Figure knife is coming back last. But IDGAF too much about that, I only carry it as a safety net.

thanks:)

[EarthToBryan]

I completely understand the calming effects of lighting a small fire, however you need to be careful to contain it. If you ever visit a burn ward you will see how devastating n uncontrolled fire can be.

[Doc. Crane .-.]

Im like this too, i almost burned my house down once, if you need to talk, VM me.

[davisbr2]

same here

[Njathind]

Aparantly the flicker of a fire is similar to that of a TV. Thats why everyone enjoys watching them. Maybe you could start watching TV, maybe with the sound off or something.

Just so you get that flicker, I know its not the same as a real fire but maybe its worth a try.

If not perhaps you could see if you could download a video of a fire or something just to look at?