the smallest things

[Iris]

I hate how the smallest things make me want to cut. when i started it was because of major things like wanting to kill myself but now even unimportant things make me lose it. Like right now my friend was telling me about these 2 parties we were invited to but im not going and she is and i was thinking about how alone i am and how i dont have the energy to do anything really cuz im so depressed. I feel like such a weak, pathetic failure that i want to cut so bad cuz of this :( :(

[Fiction]

The thing is with cutting, is that it takes a lot more to do it the first time, or the first few times, than it does once you're used to it. If you think about it, it's the same with anything really, but especially addictive things like cutting. Once you've done it a few times, and you've seen the release it gives, you'll start to crave it for everything.

If you've become addicted to cutting you can also become unaddicted. It won't be easy and it'll take effort. Use distraction techniques, such as writing, drawing, singing... whatever you enjoy doing. Or you can use ice or elastic bands. If you press ice on where you want to cut, it hurts but doesn't do any damage, or if you put an elastic band around your wrist and snap it against your wrist when you have urges, it usually makes it more bearable.

Professional help would also be a good idea if you aren't already getting it. I know it's difficult to tell your parents but if this is or becomes a long term thing they will most likely find out anyway, and it's best they hear it from you now.

:hug:

[MadManWithaBox]

That's normal. Small things build up. If you want to go to the parties, then go! Not resisting doesn't make you weak, everyone of us has made mistakes. As long as you carry on, your not weak.

[Iris]

if i try to become unaddicted then i'll become actively suicidal again. cutting is the better alternative...I go to a shrink because my principal made me go-but my parents dont kno anythings wrong and hopefully never will. the thought of them knowing is the most horryifying thing in the world to me. trust me they'd take it badly.

and i dont want to go to the parties, i want to want to go...i wish i had the energy to go so that i'd want to...

[LifeisLife]

I have the same, most people do, and like Fiction said: Once you've done it a few times, and you've seen the release it gives, you'll start to crave it for everything.

I went back to day 0 today but that was because of different reasons all stuck together, anyways just try to never be alone so that you also dont have the chance...

[Iris]

im always alone...besides i dont think i want to give up cutting...i dont want to feel worse than i already do with cutting

[Twistember]

I know how you feel. I've been there before. I got out of it, but I'm slowly getting back into it. I can feel it.

On Saturday, I went back to day 0. But as soon as it turns midnight, I'll be on day 3. You can do it. If I, surely the weakest person on the planet, can do it....so can you.

The ice thing really works. So does the rubber band thing. That's what I'm trying right now. To distract myself I've been reading, painting, writing poems, playing my guitar (badly), and making bracelts. Maybe you could try one of these things to get your mind off of everything.

Good luck, stay stong, and never surrender :)

[Iris]

if you've managed 3 days then ur strong in my book. I've never done more than one day.
and thanx for the suggestions-now that's school is FINALLY out i'm gonna try to write and paint and play my harp more :) and i just bought a bag of these cool colorful rubberbands and im gonna try them out

[Twistember]

I'm glad. You should try painting with nail polish. It gets kind of smelly, but the effects are super cool :)

[Iris]

i did that once-it didnt quite work out but i'll try it again :) thanx. i try to do dif things-like i'll add pom poms or glitter or those pop-up googly eyes....glitter is the best

[Twistember]

I love glitter :)

[Iris]

:) it makes evrything better