Can't connect with people my age, I feel different

[Roar]

I'm really smart, I make straight A's. It's always been that way. I've always been the really smart weird kid. I'm teased all the time, even by my siblings. I'm told that I am the type of person that will grow up to be an axe murderer, and while I do like a lot of violent games and movies, the sight of it in real life makes me cringe. I will NEVER be that way and I know it. I'm still disconnected from most everyone at school. There are a couple, literally 2 exceptions. One being my girlfriend and one being a friend. But he isn't a close friend. I don't have any close friends, and I never have. I've DREAMED of having a close friend, but I've never been able to make one. Sometimes I feel like my girlfriend is... dumb. She is so shallow, and so predictable. She's beautiful, but the fact that I know (or feel that I know) exactly what she is thinking and what she is going to do (I haven't really been wrong yet) drives me insane! My parents don't have time for me. I'm not urged to make my grades by them, it comes naturally to me. I think about things a lot. I have a job as well, and I've made thousands of dollars and I have only just started high school. I was abused by my parents, but not intentionally. (I have been hurt physically, but I have forgiven that parent. It never bothered me deep down.) The way I was abused was by them not paying enough attention to me. It feels like they don't care about me. My mother doesn't even cook food for me. I have to cook all my meals by myself, and I am home alone nearly every day. At school, the only people I feel like I can really connect to are the teachers. I have more adult friends outside of school than friends in school.

Just typing this makes me feel a little better, but I still feel a heavy burden on my shoulders. I don't know what is wrong with me! I don't think I'm depressed. I can still feel "feeling," and I'm not suicidal at all. I just feel alone! At school, when I try to have a conversation with the other kids, they usually end up making fun of me for using big words or talking about things they don't understand. I don't do it intentionally. Sometimes, there are even adults that don't believe some of the things I have accomplished at my age. But I feel like it's all meaningless. I'm struggling, I really need help. I've never opened up to anyone before because I've never had anyone to open up to. It's like I can see through everyone. I'm not hurt consciously by the bullying that is about my intelligence, but I am hurt by the bullying about my size. I'm small for my age. I look and sound like I'm 2 years younger than I really am. A teacher thought I was visiting high school from the middle school this year.

These things came to my mind in this order. I'm sorry it isn't more organized. I think what I am looking for is someone else who feels this way. Can anyone help me?

[EarthToBryan]

This is exactly like my life. I am actually shocked at how many similarities you and I share! I don't feel "close" to anyone. When I see other people at school enjoying life with their best friend like is "normal" I am incredibly envious because I know that I have never shared that with anyone else. I don't feel the bonds that others feel toward each other, even towards my own family. I just feel, well nothing. I have nothing to go to but learning. You should read my post in the mental illness section, I think you might relate to what I feel. Sorry I don't have a solution for you, but I guess it is comforting to know that there are other people out there going through the same things as you, I know it is for me.

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=105182

[Roar]

I read the post, you seem just like I do. I couldn't PM you because I don't have over 100 posts, but I emailed you.

[TheMatrix]

I feel the same.
Well, not exactly. What I try to do is "tone down" the conversation and use smaller, more casual words that more people can understand. Waste of talent, yes, but does help make at least some friends.
My parents don't ignore me(quite the opposite). If the neglect is starting to aggravate you, consider talking with your school counseler, perhaps they can help you.

Hope I helped ;)

[Shenron]

You seem as though you are very mature for your age and that can make making and keeping friends hard. People will feel intimidated around you because they see that you usually are right and it will drive them insane that you know the things you do. I am like you in this way however I am fortunate enough to have a few (very few) friends that are also of above average intelligence and maturity. I'd suggest seeking out older more mature people to befriend.

[Roar]

You seem as though you are very mature for your age and that can make making and keeping friends hard. People will feel intimidated around you because they see that you usually are right and it will drive them insane that you know the things you do. I am like you in this way however I am fortunate enough to have a few (very few) friends that are also of above average intelligence and maturity. I'd suggest seeking out older more mature people to befriend.
I hope it's that simple... I was beginning to think I was crazy or something...

I feel the same.
Well, not exactly. What I try to do is "tone down" the conversation and use smaller, more casual words that more people can understand. Waste of talent, yes, but does help make at least some friends.
My parents don't ignore me(quite the opposite). If the neglect is starting to aggravate you, consider talking with your school counselor, perhaps they can help you.

Hope I helped ;)
I've tried talking to the counselor before but it doesn't help at all. The first thing the conversation started with was self-esteem, and I have pretty good self-esteem so it didn't really help me. Eventually with the woman - knowing about my grades and my job as a graphic designer and all the things I have done - was tricked into thinking that I was a happy, wonderful, content person because some people would love to be as "intelligent" as I am. It's just not true for me... I mean she even told me that she was shocked that I was even in her office because I'm "such a great student" and she basically brushed me off saying I was being silly.

[EarthToBryan]

I hope it's that simple... I was beginning to think I was crazy or something...


I've tried talking to the counselor before but it doesn't help at all. The first thing the conversation started with was self-esteem, and I have pretty good self-esteem so it didn't really help me. Eventually with the woman - knowing about my grades and my job as a graphic designer and all the things I have done - was tricked into thinking that I was a happy, wonderful, content person because some people would love to be as "intelligent" as I am. It's just not true for me... I mean she even told me that she was shocked that I was even in her office because I'm "such a great student" and she basically brushed me off saying I was being silly.

It's infuriating to know that a school counselor, the one person you can turn to when you are needing someone to help you out, would act and think so unreasonably. After I finish the summer workshop I will be at for the next 3 weeks I am going to a psychiatrist, hopefully that will answer some things. I agree with the other posters, try to make friends with more intelligent, mature people. The friendships I have had with people significantly below my maturity level have not been the kind of friendships that I was looking for anyway, but the friendships I have made with much older intellectual people have been much more valuable. I just wish I could find the best of both worlds in somebody at my school!

[Shenron]

I hope it's that simple... I was beginning to think I was crazy or something...

Well, it can be. You just need to find people who aren't immature and who are on the same intellectual level as you.

[DifferentTides]

It's kind of weird when I log onto VT and see how many people have simular crisis's to me.... but that is a random thought.

Im actually pretty fortunate to now have a a good amount of friends, and a best friend. A few years ago that kind of didn't really exist. I'm also the real smart type (I'm a proud nerd!), except im tall, but really outgoing you could call it. My problem was that i was hanging around in the wrong places, and scared what people might think I hung out with the "nerdy types". But ever since the day I did.... things have never been better, and through that group I've made best friends.

It makes me sad to here that your so alone most of the time. But all I can suggest, look in the places you wouldn't except things to be. And if people can't see that you have amazing potential and accept you for you.... they're missing out man. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!! :)

[Moocat]

I feel alot like you, but I think I can interact with other people better. My parents give me, in my opinion, way too much attention. If they find something that they disapprove of, they will bother me about it, to no end. For example, I get bored in school sometimes, and do SH on my hands with pencils, at home this provokes lots of screaming, and checks every 30 minutes on the scratches. I am planning to go out on my birthday to get a job at the youngest legal age that is allowed in my state. The only time I am ever 'made fun of' at school is when some of the most illiterate people you have ever met (and probably use text slang on school assignments) laugh at me when I bring new books to school, the last one being Atlas Shrugged. I'm not bothered by this either, I even laugh with them, because some of the books I buy are so long. Otherwise, I'm left alone, as I stand about 6' 2" tall and weigh a good 200 pounds. I think that I have a higher intelligence than others around me and sometimes it is hard to fit in, my grade principal has even talked to me about how he believes that I 'operate on a different level' than all my schoolmates and made note on my maturity.

[Ruusteri]

Reading your story is like looking into a mirror for me... Well most of it anyways. I really dont have any friends, nor do I want/need them anyways, judging by the intellectual level of my age group. I am also short for my age and people think I am younger than I actually am.

It is actually funny how easy the counselors are so easy to trick. I didnt really trust our's in the first place, but still tried to slowly play by her rules. Then, suddenly she got the image that I am a completely happy school boy with lots of friends and things to do in my spare time.

I dont really have many people I trust, but if you have something you want to talk about, just VM me. I am a pretty good listener, and people say I talk too much.

Hope life goes well for you : )

[JackRabbit]

Great post, I feel just like you. I see people connect over things that seem so simple to me. Even when I find myself in a conversation where I connect with another human, I feel like it's all been said before, and I can step out of the situation and see just what's going on. I feel like having a complete understanding of what's happening around you really takes away from the significance of it.

I'm not sure if that last part made any sense, haha, but it did to me :D

Also, most television and movies disgust me in a way that goes further than most criticism of film. I feel like I can see exactly what they are trying to make us think, and I feel like everyone around me doesn't realize that those aren't real people, and when the director makes a mistake, most people just think "well that character can think and act however he wants, who is this smartass (talking about me) and why does he think he knows what the character should say?

can anyone relate to this?

:)

[Gandalf]

I feel the same.
Well, not exactly. What I try to do is "tone down" the conversation and use smaller, more casual words that more people can understand. Waste of talent, yes, but does help make at least some friends.

Hope I helped ;)
Dumbing things down for people isn't a waste of talent, it shows your smarter for finding a simpler way of explaining something.-And shows your smart for being able to talk about something complex so casually :) I think this is awesome. :D

And what I was originally going to say to the OP:
While I can't actually help, I would like to say how amazed at the similarities on here (which I can also relate to)

I think you may be very rich one day, and I hope you are. You will be easily able to do the things you love with people that have similar interests as you.

Hope you find some comfort in what I've written, as I mean every word.
Hope things work out for you (would PM but haven't got 100 posts)