dreading tonight

[Iris]

tonight i'm gonna do something thats going to make me cut myself and i know it but i have to, to help fix a bigger problem. I accepted that i have to do this but the dread about how messed up im gonna be after, even if its for the best in the end, is eating away at me :( :(

[Weeping]

More exactly what is it you're going to do?

[Iris]

i dont wanna say-its kind of embarrassing that something like that has such a huge affect on me...

[Ambrosia]

Well, don't do it. Or better yet, don't let it get to you.

The fact that you are ALREADY planning on how it is going to effect you in the long run is a bad deal, and you can stop it very easily. Only you have control over your future, and your mind, and no one/nothing can change it directly. Everything simply puts a bit of strain and a push into your mind to make you change how you feel and you can push back with everything you've got.

Remind yourself, it's your life, and you're doing something you have to do, for a good reason, and you won't let it hurt you.

[Fiction]

So you feel like you have to cut after you do something else?

The fact that you feel like you have to shows that it's a compulsion, that you're addicted. I suggest you try and get help for this. Counselling where you can talk about whatever issue you have may be helpful, just don't try and go through this alone.

:hug:

[Iris]

its not quite like that. Its just that cutting isnt my number one problem-its my depression and being suicidal, and a movie i watched completely messed me up in the suicide thing so im watching it over and over again until it doesn't hurt me anymore...the last time i saw it was a few days ago...and i cut, im sorry

[Pancakes]

Well you would need to tell us what it is that your gonna do so we can help you.

[thebgsamuel]

we cant do anything if dont have precisions but i think whatever it is if you are a 100% shure your gona get hurt dont do it