I'm not sure I can do this...

[Fiction]

So i'm on 16 days. 16 days without cutting. The longest i've ever gone in almost 2 years is 18 days. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. It's getting to the point where it's on my mind constantly, where nothing feels okay just because I can't cut.

Earlier today as I was walking to school and I was almost crying. There wasn't even a reason. The only reason being that the urge to cut was that strong. I hate it. I have no blades to do anything, and i'm using an elastic band but the urges are getting so strong it's ridiculous.

I can't cut though, I just can't. I have to not cut for Aaron, to help him stay strong. It hurts so much. I just hate it.

Rant I guess.

[MadManWithaBox]

Don't be foolish Kathy. Course you can do this. Things are gonna get worse before they get better.

[Fiction]

I guess they are but i'm not sure if I can deal with things being worse. I can't stop thinking about it.

[MadManWithaBox]

You have Aaron. You've got a million friends. You've got your family, however flawed they may be. You'll have people to support you when it gets worse. Then, it'll only get better.

[ReasonsForWeeping]

i wish i could tell u things will get better but im not going to lie

[Weeping]

Kathy, you can do this. Believe me. I know how hard it is, but I really hope that you'll keep this up.
And even though it probably doesn't feel like it right now, it will get better. The urges will get better. Everything will get better.
Just try to distract yourself or whatever really. Just don't harm yourself.

I thought I'd never be able to stop. That it never was going to get better, but where am I now? (:

I believe in you, and you know you can talk to me if needed.

:hug:



Coolcats: That isn't a lie. It will get better.

[cmdexe]

you've done 18 days before, you know it's possible. it's great that you are using the elastic band, keep trying, even if it's only a few days more, you know you can last longer this time! I promise it does get better! =)

[anonymous53]

You can do it Kathy :hug: Sorry we didn't get to talk today.

[Fiction]

Thanks everybody :)