Sregth?emotions?

[ReasonsForWeeping]

all my life every has told me how strong i am what a good kid what is strength all it is is how well you hide the pain i cant feel emotion im emotionally numb i cant feel i wish i could feel feel something sadness pain happiness why cant i feel thats all i want is to feel emotion everyone tells me im lucky i cant feel pain or sadness but i would trade a lifetime of emotionless numbness for a lifetime of pain and unhappiness if i could just feel :cry: whats it like to feel?

[LifeisLife]

That's something I've never heard before! Do you mean you literally cant feel anything physically and emotionally?

[ReasonsForWeeping]

i can kinda feel physical pain thts why i burn and cut but it dosent hurt sometimes it dose but emotionally no i cant feel anything emotionally

[LifeisLife]

Alright, then that's clarified. First off please try not to SH, keep yourself busy, do extra homework, hang out with friends more, go downstairs and talk to your family/just watch TV with them, just try not to stay alone. It's how I usually keep myself from doing SH. For the emotional part first off I want to say I feel really bad for you and I cant imagine what that's like, I mean yeah, everybody has numb days where they're just like: MEH. all day but I cant imagine not feeling anything emotionally. That would make you a sociopath if my understanding of sociopath is correct, I know some slightly sociopathic friends who have medication/pills that make them feel a little emotion and then they just fake the rest but I think you should talk to a shrink about the emotional part.

[ReasonsForWeeping]

i aready fake i put on a mask i like tht mask it makes my friends happy i dont have a normal family sorry if i mislead u there my family is how u say dysfunctional plus my insomnia keeps me up if a dont take my pills for it

[LifeisLife]

Dont worry, I fake too but not with all my friends, I'm not sure if you have people that you actually like as a friend/more then a friend and they like you too in that way/more/less then just try to hang around with that person. (: What do you mean with "disfunctional"? Does your family abuse you? :/ And if you have insomnia then take your pills every night or read a book or do homework you might have forgotten. :)

[ReasonsForWeeping]

i was emotionally abused for 15 years by my mother i mean all my life when i was a little kid my mom locked me in my room for hours on end i was always alone as a child so idk what normal is

[LifeisLife]

That seems harsh! :( I saw your other post and now you're living with your step-dad right? (: Is it better with him?

[Iris]

not feeling does not mean you're a sociopath...it means that your mind is so traumatized and in such much pain that it shuts down. i get that way sometimes when really bad things happen and after freaking out and crying and cutting i shut down. i dont feel any emotions. sometimes i dont even feel like i'm physical-like my consciousness isnt connected to my body. Im not sure if this is the kinda stuff you go thru but if it is it just means you're in a lot of psychological pain. :(

[ReasonsForWeeping]

i only wish i could feel it but non of my friends really know whats going on with me i don't like to talk about myself i joined this forum for support and im kinda getting some and yes living with my step dad is so much better