I'm a mess.

[FullyAlive]

I was keeping my lower arm free, it was never going to heal in two weeks but with a lot of make up and dim lighting I had a chance. I saw my doctor this morning she was so proud. But I came home this afternoon, I just wanted to break down. So I did. I went to my room and turned into a wreck, crying, shaking and cutting. I've messed up my arm. Long sleeves to prom now for definite. I'm so stupid.

I feel like such a let down, I know I know it was only a slip up it's not until you give up that you really lose. I just, I don't know. I really hoped this was it. But it clearly wasn't, I feel like I'll never stop. Not in time anyway.

Sorry this was just a ramble really, I want to have another breakdown, cry and cut some more. I'm a mess and I hate myself.

/rant

[Love.Hate]

It will get better i promise you, easier to go without it for longer.

i know exactly what you mean... i havent cut my arms in ages because prom is coming up, its stressful. but you will get through it, its okay to breakdown. just try to pick yourself back up and keep going.

there will come a day when you dont need it, or want it, so you will stop. its just a case of when that is. <3

[FullyAlive]

Thanks Fran.

But it really doesn't feel like it. I'm still crying. I can't stop, my arm is really fucked up. And I can't stop crying. I'm getting sick of picking myself up again time and time again. It's really difficult.

I'm contradicting myself now but tbh I dread that day :/
:heart:

[MadManWithaBox]

Louise <3 it's ok, we all fuck up. God knows I have. But the important thing is we don't give up. We carry on fighting. I know it's hard to pick yourself up over and over. But you have so much to carry on for. So much support. <3

[Love.Hate]

Thanks Fran.

But it really doesn't feel like it. I'm still crying. I can't stop, my arm is really fucked up. And I can't stop crying. I'm getting sick of picking myself up again time and time again. It's really difficult.

I'm contradicting myself now but tbh I dread that day :/
:heart:

I know it gets harder and harder to pick yourself back up, but i know you. I know you can do it. Its so difficult and i dont think we quite estimate how hard it is.. but you can, and will do it again. Even if not for long.. take care of yourself. Sort your arm out.

You really need to do somthing to cheer yourself up.. as trivial as it sounds the other day i sat there, painted my nails, put a face mask on and listened to music. I felt so much better.

You will beat this sweetie, okay not now. But it wont be forever :heart: