I'm scared... this isn't like me.

[DifferentTides]

I don't know how to put it, but the title pretty much describes it.

Usually im the optimist, but over the last few months i feel as if my soul and happiness has just been eaten away, and now I feel like a shell trying to find something to fill that void. This could be the wrong section, but im getting to the point.

I never really understood what it was like for those who did cut or self-harm, and thought it to be stupid and all that other ignorant thinking. But one day everything hit me like a brick. Talking didn't seem to help much, as I couldn't trust anyone. I wanted a release (if that's what you call it). Even though i didn't really do much (only tried to press a thumbpin into wrist), it triggered what i am doing now. This is now the 5th time i have tried do harm to myself. And i have drawn blood on 3/5 of them. At the moment, i haven't really done anything major, only blade pressure cuts with minimal damage. But i fear it could get worse fast.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

[Love.Hate]

My advice to you.. stop before it becomes an addiction.

Replace it with something else, find a release through something else.. like sports, writing, find a hobby?

You dont need this.. think of the scars. How are you going to explain them to people, what are you going to do if it gets worse?

Just think about it, do you want this in your life? Find something that makes you happy.
Can you imagine yourself with this hanging over you, for the rest of your life?

Be careful.

[ReasonsForWeeping]

its a release but its also addiction im addicted to cutting and burning burns take longer to heal but burning lasts longer for me ive been cutting for 5 years and burning for 2 it becomes an addiction dont let it become an addiction or everything gets worse with cutting its blood lose with burning its the kind of burn 3rd degree burns are the ones u have to worry about so try to stop now before u get addicted like i said everything gets worse if u get addicted

[Ambrosia]

As they said before me, try your best to quit. Any type of self-harm becomes something overpowering over time. I started almost the same as you, barely hurting myself and doing minimal damage. But eventually it will become something you can't stop very easily. Right now it's easy for you to stop, or at least easier then it would be for someone who has hurt themselves for a long period of time.

Do us all a favor and stop. You'll be helping yourself a lot and help us feel better knowing it's one less person who has to suffer with something so hard to quit.

[RAWWR]

You need to find the reason you're feeling so crap lately. Work out what's going on in your head before you can try and deal with it, otherwise you're more likely to relapse.
You really do need to stop though. It gets much, much worse. You will end up addicted, it will be your whole life, it'll be everything you love, but also everything you hate in life. You'll lose friends and family. I know you can stop this, and make a good life for yourself. I believe in you.

[Fiction]

Everyone's said it before me, but it can't be emphasised enough.

Stop before you're addicted.

Self harm is very easy to become addicted to, and once you're addicted it's so hard to give up. Your cuts become worse and worse, slowly getting more and more dangerous and leaving more and more scars. Eventually you'll get to a point where wearing short sleeves is impossible, and without showing scars it always will be.

Yes it gives a release, but in the long run it doesn't help at all, only makes things worse.

As for the way you're feeling, I know you say talking doesn't help but maybe talking to a professional will? Maybe you should go and see your doctor who may be able to offer counselling or meds to stop you feeling like this and stop you wanting to self harm.

[LifeisLife]

Usually im the optimist, but over the last few months i feel as if my soul and happiness has just been eaten away, and now I feel like a shell trying to find something to fill that void.
Just wanted to say that's how I started too. I only started recently so I'm not very addicted to it yet. Please stop though! I know I should too so we could stop together if you want? We'll talk every day over visitor messages/Personal messages if you like... (: If you dont want to I'm fine with that too (: But I keep myself busy and let myself do sports where I need to show as much of my body as possibly so i need to hide it more but I'm a bit lazy and dont hide it so I just try not to and try to keep myself busy! I do sports (obviously), write poems, listen to music if i'm depressed, hang out with friends, befriend some people in higher/lower grades then me, go downstairs and watch TV with my family, as long as you're not alone you cant SH so stay around people and keep busy and you'll be fine!

[DifferentTides]

Thanks everyone for the support and advice, it helps to know that people care. I haven't done anything since i wrote that (YAY!). Lately i've been very stressed (school, family, and friendships (this is the main one) etc), and have felt very lost. Now that some of those pressures are off, I am again attempting to sort our the others. I think i know the triggers behind it (and other things). My best friend knows, and he is a HUGE (like it would be a million times worse) help. He's coming over tommorow, so that should help. I might talk to him or something like that if the oppotunity arises.

I guess im not as alone as I would have thought :)