The Worst Feeling Ever

[Sterling26]

you know what really sucks? when you have a girl in your bed, making out with you, totally into it, and YOU FEEL NOTHING. because as beautiful as she is, and as much as 90% of the guys in your school would like to be with her, you would much rather be kissing the cute guy that you're friends with.

welcome to my life.

i realized while kissing her, 'this isn't for me, i just don't want to be here right now'. and then it gets worse when she says "do you not want to kiss me" while i'm trying desperately to figure out how to get out of there. i wanted SO BAD to be that guy for her. and i wasn't.

what makes it worse, i have no friends that i could tell this, because of course there's a huge double standard where i live which is basically 'lesbians are hot, gay guys are creeps'. i'm not saying i couldn't tell someone, but i don't think it'd help, and i COULD NOT be out where i live.

worst of all? the best friend that i ever had has drifted apart from me, because he sensed i liked him. the one person that i could tell, doesn't want to be around me. what the fuck do i do now.

[anonymous53]

That really does suck.... *hug*

Maybe avoid girls altogether if you can.... are you close to the girl you were making out with? Maybe you can open up to her....

[Sterling26]

well she's my gf, which i realize complicates everything so much more, but yea it prob wouldn't be a good idea to tell her, especially just out of the fear that she'll think she turned me gay, and i dont wanna put her through that

[anonymous53]

Well, you can't keep just leading her on dude. It's wrong.

If you want her to feel like she didn't "turn you" just break out crying and tell her you're gay, you've been gay and you were scared. *shrug* Should help her.

[Tristin.]

*hugssss* that really is crap :/

if i were you, i would try and break it off as soon as with her, dont put her through much more. be gentle and maybe tell her the reason, she may understand.

[NitoJuanito]

hey, break it to her gently like saying "i like you but as a friend, i want you to know that i was testing to see if i was gay or not, i might be gay or we just dont have a lot of chemisty. if i am gay, can you accept that its not your fault?"

[LoginLeo]

Hey man...
I see what your problem is, and i think that u need to give it some time...
I think that u shouldn't break up with her, unless you are 100% sure that u don't want her...
And if u decide to break up with her, that i think you shouldn't tell her the real reason, that u think that you are gay.. It would be just wrong.. And you don't know what her reaction would be, maybe she will just "shout it" that you are gay, insult you, or just tell everyone about it, which, as i understand, you don't want to happen..
So.. just give it some more time, and whatever you decide - my advise is not to tell her about what you really want or feel about men..
If u want to, talk to me :)

hey, break it to her gently like saying "i like you but as a friend, i want you to know that i was testing to see if i was gay or not, i might be gay or we just dont have a lot of chemisty. if i am gay, can you accept that its not your fault?"

Actually, i think that he shouldn't tell her that he's trying to find it out.. :)

[Sterling26]

[QUOTE=allsitesreg;1303906]Hey man...
I see what your problem is, and i think that u need to give it some time...
I think that u shouldn't break up with her, unless you are 100% sure that u don't want her...
And if u decide to break up with her, that i think you shouldn't tell her the real reason, that u think that you are gay.. It would be just wrong.. And you don't know what her reaction would be, maybe she will just "shout it" that you are gay, insult you, or just tell everyone about it, which, as i understand, you don't want to happen..
So.. just give it some more time, and whatever you decide - my advise is not to tell her about what you really want or feel about men..
If u want to, talk to me :)

yea i agree most with what you're saying, and to everyone else i'm by no means leading her on, it was just that this recent event made me realize that i wasn't interested in her. i plan to end things with her after all school stuff is done so it wont be really awkward, and in college ill probably try to figure this all out more

[LoginLeo]

[QUOTE=allsitesreg;1303906]Hey man...
I see what your problem is, and i think that u need to give it some time...
I think that u shouldn't break up with her, unless you are 100% sure that u don't want her...
And if u decide to break up with her, that i think you shouldn't tell her the real reason, that u think that you are gay.. It would be just wrong.. And you don't know what her reaction would be, maybe she will just "shout it" that you are gay, insult you, or just tell everyone about it, which, as i understand, you don't want to happen..
So.. just give it some more time, and whatever you decide - my advise is not to tell her about what you really want or feel about men..
If u want to, talk to me :)

yea i agree most with what you're saying, and to everyone else i'm by no means leading her on, it was just that this recent event made me realize that i wasn't interested in her. i plan to end things with her after all school stuff is done so it wont be really awkward, and in college ill probably try to figure this all out more

I'm glad I helped :)
pm me, if u wanna talk :cool:

[grstl]

Don't wait until after a baby with her like I did...........talk about complicated! She now knows and hates that I cannot be totally hers, but still loves me. As to being isolated in your sexuality...nothing gnaws deeper in your soul. i wish I or others here at VT could totally encourage you. VT people at least have similar interests or issues.

Be brave. Be honest--especially with her. Don't let fear paralyze you. YOU are worth it!

[mark15]

whoa thats suks GL with that :/

[poocsl]

Well my boyfriend had the same problem with his ex (he is a gay now) and he just told it to her, but gently and now they are like best friends and have a beautiful relationship. So there's 2 options 1) Decide not to tell her and then one of the situations above happens or 2) Tell her and possible she'll become a good friend and help or...yeah...

[Nicci]

Where I'm from it's kinda the opposite, gay guys are hot and lesbians are weird. I recommend getting out of a relationship with her (if you are in one with her) so that you don't lead her on. Try to let her off easy if she comes on to you. I'm not sure because you know her and I don't but remember that you DO deserve to be happy because you seem like a cool person who is in a hard situation. If you guys are friends and she finds out somehow ANOTHER way that you are not into her that'd be REALLY bad.

Basically if you don't feel anything for her it'd probably be best for the both of you to end it sooner rather than later.And just keep getting people's opinion on the situation. I hope that helped somehow and that things go well for you.