What to do, what to do?

[Dangoblin]

**I am new to these forums, so sorry if i posted incorrectly or something like that**

Alright, well let me tell you a bit about myself first. My name is Dan, I’m 14, and I’m bi. I've known for about 2 years and it’s just now starting to mess with me. I never really had many feelings for a girl even though I dated them. I've had feelings for guys, but I was never used to one liking me back (well i should say, the ones I like don’t really like me back, but there are others who like stalk me).

So there’s a kid in my class. Since i don’t want to use names, we'll call him A. Well, in about December, i caught A's eye. There wasn’t much i could do at the time because Christmas break was within a couple of days. So when i came back from Christmas break, i decided to experiment with him. As in, give him some eye contact. Now, we're not really friends (he has his group of friends and i have mine) so that makes it 10x harder to figure him out. We occasionally talk, and when we do, he normally starts (I’m a shy kid). He either jokes around with me or asks me questions about what we're doing (like "What did you get for this problem?")

Now this has been going on for about 5-6 months and my feelings still haven’t changed for him. I’m constantly thinking about him and everything reminds me of him. Just recently, I noticed how close he’s become with this one kid. We'll call this kid B. Well, there are (from my perspective) quite a few gay guys in my class (i would say about 5). And B is one of the people i suspect to be gay. Anyways, A and B have been hanging out a lot recently and it drives me crazy anytime i hear about it. Also, B has been picking up stuff A does. For example, there’s a sport that A does, and recently, I’ve been hearing that B has also been playing it. I mean, they go over each others houses just to play it. Now, every time i see A and B together, i get really depressed. I guess i can get really jealous. I’m not really "out of the closet" yet, so whenever my friends ask me "What’s wrong?", i just fake a smile and say Nothing. Even my teacher asked me if i was ok one day (and i got a little story to go along with that).

Now, something very pathetic I've noticed was that, in my Algebra class is where he pays most attention to me. Since I’m only in 8th grade, there’s only 1 algebra class. There’s only about 5 kids (counting me) in my algebra class that’s in all my other classes, including A (and just so I’m clear, there’s a total of like 30 kids in the algebra class altogether). Well, since B isn’t in that class, A pays more attention to me. For example, (this is the story about when my teacher asked me if i was ok.) when my *algebra teacher asked me if i was ok, i said "Yea, kind of". This got A to really notice me. Since i have free time in algebra, i normally just listen to music and do some thinking. Well i guess that day i looked really down because i was just sitting there, with my head in my hands, and i feel a domino hit me. I look up, and A is across from me with a smile on his face. That really cheered me up and even now, it makes me smile when i think back on it.

Something I’ve noticed with A is, when my mood changes, so does his. It’s not really Monkey see, monkey do, but more like Monkey see, monkey do opposite. For example, When i see him with B, he seems happy and I’m normally depressed by then. But whenever a *girl* cheers me up (I’m more friends with the girls than the guys) he seems to get really upset. Now, it’s in my nature to flirt. I flirt with both guys and girls and i can’t help it. So when i see him down, it gets me upset too.

Ok, now to get to my real problem (sorry if i was rambling on in those few paragraphs, but i kinda needed to vent). So there’s literally one week of school left and I’m not happy about it. I’m going to a different high school than him, so this is going to be my last few days with him. I feel like either he needs to say something to me about how he feels (like ANYTHING... anything that will help me understand how he feels) or i need to get over him. I've tried getting over him, like stop looking at him/thinking about him, but it just doesn’t work.

So here are my questions:
1. How do you think he feels about me?
2. Is he worth it?
3. Should i make a move?
4. Should i just get over him?
5. If 4 is yes, How do i get over him?
6. Have you ever been in a situation like this?

[beardedboy]

1. I think he does like you at least a little bit.
2. I can't really say if he is worth it or not, that is for you to decide.
3. If you don't make a move, than it may be too late. You will never know unless you take a risk.
4. I don't think you should just get over him, especially if you find that he is worth it.
5. N/A
6. I have not. Sorry. I hope this helps you. You sound pretty lucky to have someone though. :)

[Donkey]

Teen Sexuality -> Relationships & Dating

[LuckyLuke]

How far is the other school, because it it's not frequently "travel-able" is it really worth telling him?


1. How do you think he feels about me?-- MAKE SURE HE'S GAY/BI! If he is, he probably likes you
2. Is he worth it?-- He's still "on the market" and seeing as how you like him, I don't see why he wouldn't be.
3. Should i make a move?-- If the relationship could work NON LONG DISTANCE
4. Should i just get over him?-- If YOU feel you should because he's either too far away or not gay/bi
5. If 5 is yes, How do i get over him?-- Simply let it hurt you and then let it go. There's nothing else you can do.
6. Have you ever been in a situation like this?-- Yes, but in a little bit of a different circumstance.

[Dangoblin]

Thanks guys for the input. The schools are no more than like 10-15mins apart from eachother. But I think i might just let him go and let it hurt me. I don't want to, and ill probably end up crying, but it may be the only solution. Although, I'm not going to make that decision until the end of this week since school ends on Friday. :(

[LuckyLuke]

Dangoblin, is he gay/bi and are you sure of it? If so, take a chance! The worst thing he can say is no.

The only thing stopping you (was) the distance between schools and whether or not he likes guys.

Now be warned, if you're not out, you may soon be outed and you need to be prepared for that; otherwise just give it a shot because the worst he can say is no.

[Dangoblin]

I wanna say im sure hes gay/bi because of everything thats happened, but i mean, im a shy kid and i dont really want to come out now. Hes a nice kid so i wouldnt have to worry about him making fun of me or anything like that, but i just feel nervous around him. And we arent really close friends so i mean, it'd be kinda awkward. Even if i did have the courage to get him alone, it just wouldnt ..feel right. Idk. I dont think i can really explain how i would feel. :/

[LuckyLuke]

Just because you don't know him that well doesn't mean it has to be weird.

I'd only met my girlfriend once before asking her out at a cousins concert in this small club-ish type setting (about 30 people were in attendance). I really liked her, thought she was beautiful and intelligent, so I asked my cousin for her number (he's friends with her) and texted her; eventually asking her out a few weeks later.

What do you have to lose? If he's as good a guy as you believe he is then he won't out you and you'll be fine even if he says no.

Also, it's totally normal to feel nervous around someone you really like. I'm still nervous around her. You need to realize that the worst thing that can happen isn't really that bad. Go for it!

[Kuervo]

i have the same situation sorta, except the fact tht i dont like him as much as i used to but there was this guy tht whenever he hung out with anyone else i wudn be like depressed and whenever he'd talk to me id be all jiddery and happy.

but anyways, wut i think is tht u shud tell him what u feel about him. try to get his email and stay in contact with each other and hang out togather over summer. if he doesnt make the first move then u shudatleast try. hope i helped and good luck :) :D

[Dangoblin]

@Cuervo- I would like to stay in touch with him over the summer and all, but the problem is (and i never mentioned it anywhere) hes more of a popular kid. Im not saying popular as in every kid says "Hi" to him in the hallways, but where he's widely known. Im more on the unpopular side. Im popular with girls apparently, but some guys hate my guts becuase of it. So i mean, that would be a bit weird txtin him or somethin when we come from 2 different worlds.

[beardedboy]

I see your predicament. Hmmm... Well, I agree with them. The worst he can say is no. But if he does like you like you think than maybe he will help stick up for you and make you popular, or he might come with you to unpopular land. :P You never know unless you take the leap of faith and if you have enough trust in him to catch you then I say go for it. :P

[Bryan B]

1. How do you think he feels about me?
By the way to described him he might be interested in you, but maybe also in person B
2. Is he worth it?
Can't Answer
3. Should i make a move?
As you said your are having the last days with him in school, I think you should invite him over to your house or some other place (like friends), ask him for his # and txt, just get to know him better, and become closer; then after knowing him better you would know if he is work it, or if you can make a "move".
4. Should i just get over him?
As I said before, get to know him better before knowing what to do.
5. If 4* is yes, How do i get over him?
As said before, get to know him better to know if he is worth it, if not just forget about the whole thing and continue living, you can met much more people in high school next year
6. Have you ever been in a situation like this?
Yeah I had a similar experience; all i can tell you is get to know him better and if he is really interested on you and is work it; go for it; if not forget about him.

[bornthisway]

1. He probably likes you, at least a little.
2. If you feel he is, then he is.
3. If you wanna, sure.
4. No, not unless it's what feels right.
6. Yes & No. It wasn't about my feelings with another guy. But like when I start to talk to a guy or whatever towards the end of the year, and then summer comes around and we never talk again, it's a bummer. Just eat your nervousness and go up to him and say something like "I wanna talk to you, but since schools about to end, can we chill over summer or something?" Or tell him you think he's cute or whatever.

[audiophile5]

The story of my life:((

[Nicci]

Wow...this is REALLY similar to my middle school experience except with a girl instead of a guy. This post made me smile cause I thought it was kinda cute :) I was in pretty much the same situation! haha.

1. From what you have said I absolutely think he is interested in you.
2.Do YOU think he is worth it?
3.What's the harm in making a move? Especially if you two are going to different high schools? At least you would have tried, you wont be able to look back and say 'I wish I tried harder for this relationship" etc.
4.it IS an option. Personally I think it will be VERY hard to do. (for me it was and I still have feelings for the person I ...well...loved in middle school. It is a struggle to try and get over someone, especially if you really like them).
6. Haha, yes, same grade...basically I was you and my friend was A and a couple other people were B. I did't have a lot of confidence that this other person ('A') would like me...turns out they did and ended up confessing to ME. Though it WAS middle school, a very tough year for many people. A lot of changes are happening and you are figuring out who you are/want to be. Through this experience you will figure out what you want in a companion whether you 'chase after him' or not. For me, things didn;t FULLY work out, but that is because it was a stepping stone in my own life, and I'm happy I experienced the heart ache because I learned more about myself and came to terms that I WAS bi. Last thing since I seem to be writing a lot), would you be comfortable with all possible out comes? And remember it's JUST middle school and others will come along even if things DON'T go well.

Hope my super long post helped a little! If you need any more help feel free to message me!

[okaannie]

thanks for sharing.

[AJC410]

I would say take a risk and do it better for him to have said no than you regretting it.

[maxii]

try asking him out =] good luck