Sigh.. sick of everything :(

[Emiil]

Hi. I'm Emil.
Don't know if this is in the right section..
My life sucks at the moment. Sure, I have many friends and I'm great in school, but.. I am gay. Being 14 years old and already knowing that you like guys sucks. I won't tell family/friends that I'm gay until I'm at least 18, so 4 years left. I hate it. I cry almost every day. I have no one to talk to, no one would understand me anyway. I hate my life. I have to fake a smile every day, everyone thinks I'm a really happy person but I am crying inside.
Some people I've talked to says 4 years isnt that much but I can't do this anymore :( :( :( :( :( :( :( I want someone to talk to, that understands me. I want a boyfriend, I want to be loved. Sigh.. :(
Sorry if you feel like this is an unnecessary post..

[Alexithymia]

Nah. It's not an unnecessary post. You're feeling down/depressed, so you posted here? We don't mind, no, we like helping other people. :)

I'm 13 and I know I'm gay. But, I already have come out to one friend. If I hadn't... wow, I'd be telling a different story. Anyway, if you can find ONE person that you trust enough to tell, do it. It really does help a lot. And if you can't, then maybe try finding someone on the internet? Being able to trust someone helps.

Why do you hate your life? Is it solely because you're gay? And if so, do you have internalized homophobia? (That's basically where you hate yourself for being gay) Or is it another reason? If you could answer those, I'd be able to help more. :)

[Emiil]

told my ex girlfriend (shes my best friend now) but I moved so can almost never see her, like 2-3 tímes every year. I don't feel like I can tell anyone else.. :(
I hate my life because I'm gay and I want to tell everyone but I can't.. and I don't rly like that I'm gay.

[beardedboy]

Wow... I am actually tearing up. I am so sorry that you feel that way. :( You seem like a bright and intelligent fellow. I understand where you are coming from. I discovered I am bisexual recently and don't know who to tell. Granted, I don't feel the same way you do about your sexuality, but I am sure you are adorable and would make a great boyfriend. Please... contact me in any way that you can if you need to talk about anything. I am up to talk to you about anything you want. Right now, since I am shy, I can only trust the strangers I meet on here, but everyone has been supportive of me and everyone else on this website. I would love to chat with you sometime. :)

[Travis Is Losing It]

I'm not gay or bi but i do know the pain that you must be goign through right now. And i take it you just finished or are going into freshman year. To be honest outing yourself would not be a good idea because alot of people dont understand gays and lesbians still which i find rediculous. one of my closest friends is gay and he outed himself in 8th grade but hes perfectly content with how he is now. Sure he gets shit from people but he manages to get past it all because hes happy with who he is. Your worried about how people will think of you friends family and junk but if your happy with yourself you shouldnt let that bother you. The only person that matters is you being happy. 4 years trust me isnt long at all. My highschool just flew by and now i miss it so much :/ everyone said it would fly by and it did. Enjoy the years you have because they get better but you can miss out on so much if your always upset and scared of what people think. :) hope that helps a bit x.x i kinda go off on a random string of things that i think make sense when most of the time they dont... like i just did... :)

[Emiil]

thanks guys

[Travis Is Losing It]

welcome emil

[Jrad]

well my bestfriend is gay and he came out a about a year ago and he hates it so much. it's like hes a homophobe but gay at the same time it's really confusing. but anyways I help him get through the days bit by bit so if you want to talk you can always talk to me. the offer always stands.

[Donkey]

Depression, Loss and Grief -> Teen Sexuality

I'll talk to you on MSN about this bud

[prob1996]

I can so relate to how you're feeling. It wasn't so long ago I was feeling just as alone. It was pretty bad. I got lucky cause I finally was able to tell someone (my bro) and it's sounds corny but things did get better. They're not perfect, far from it but it's a process. I generally take one day at a time and find something positive to get me through that day. I'm sorry to hear that it is so bad for you. If you need to talk, feel free. I've found alot of ppl here to be pretty understanding & helpful!

[biboy96]

I understand how you feel, Emil. When I first found out I might be bi, I tried to kill myself quite a few times(and failed, which made me more miserable)... But it will get better; you will find someone who loves you, and who you love back :) I also understand you don't want to tell anyone(i'm still in the closet, and most likely, I'll not come out in a loooooooong time), but I hope you realize there's nothing wrong with you, just because you're gay. The first step is to accept it yourself, and make peace with it =)

I hope things work out for you =)

[Emiil]

I know how you feel man.. i think im gay too i really don't know yet but i can relate to you so much, im the only guy in the house and my sister is preg and my mum is a copper and never at home, im always one looking after my sis (shes older then me but she has some issues) and im always one looking after my baby sis, i have to put on a fake smile each day, i wanted to come out to everyone for such a long time and its hard because you need someone to help you thru the hard things about being gay, lets say you need a guardian angel, my mum knows im bisexual now but i didn't come out to her and only she knows im gay/bisexual and she cant support me thru it, but yh man i can relate but know this,

We are all here for you to help you thru all the bad times and good times, you have more friends then anyone in the entire world.. theres so many who care about you in person and on the computer, heck man i've known you months now and you've been such a good friend to me and alot other people, know this you are not alone even if its on a computer to people who are on the other side of the world, we ARE here for YOU.

thanks<3

[dontcare97]

It's hard not having anyone knowing the real you. Even thou I'm a girl, I feel for you. Four years is a long time, it's a college education kind of time. Is you family sensitive to gay people? They wont judge you when you do come out? Is there anyone, a understanding aunt/uncle or really close cousin you could tell about this? You need someone physically there for you to tell. It might relieve some stress on you. If you can't than maybe you can talk to me, I'd be glad to listen and help.

[PAfarmerkid]

Hi Emill, I know how you feel also. Im open that Im bi to some of my friends (even though Im really gay) but still feel like they dont undertand the real me. I also feel alone and want a boyfriend and know what its like to put a fake smile on my face. I agree, life does suck. But if ya ever need someone to talk to man Im always open to chat!

[Maxxie]

Unnecissary? Good lord, mate, this is what this forum was MADE for! You're in the right place.

Fortunately, there's people here that can help, including myself. I'm like you. Hell, I've never even had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, whatsoever (discounting a 2 day thing back in 7th...). Coming out to a friend was the best thing I've ever done - honestly, mate, when you come out and they accept it, it's the best feeling in the world. Words of advice, however... make sure they're cool with the idea of homosexuality. And probably a good idea to make sure it's a girl - they help. Alot.

Seeing as how I'm in the same spot you are, if you want to fire me a PM feel free to do so. :D

[WonderTastic]

I love you emiil you are in the exact same shoes as me ... Im bi but I don't find interest in girls at all right now so who knows I might be gay

[nameless12]

heeyy, dont worry emiil :) im the same as you too, just want to be loved. I also thought that i couldnt tell the secret to anyone, but then one knew, then another one knew, and now 17 people know and they accept me for who i am :)
cant you tell it to someone who you really trust??

[Reiko]

yeah, im in the same situation. if you can find atleast 1 close friend tht you trust, then come out to them...i nvr told my fam tht i was bi cuz, well theyre homophobic :(....but i did tell 1 friend and they totally accepted me
jus take things slow...and dnt cry lil buddy, its okay, we r all here 2 help in anyway we can :)
take care Emil, be safe

[Abigballofdust]

I understand you completely.
It's a bad hit, I know. I've been through it.
I'm gay and not proud at all. In fact I'm totally ashamed by that and I end up in grief periods from time to time because of that.
Luckily for me I'm a pretty positive person and I manage to take myself out of sad situations without many consequences.
You should try and keep a positive watch on life.
It's a hard period but it gets better. Trust me on that.
Try to find a good friend, someone that really counts for you and tell him, you'll feel relieved.
Also, don't think of anything stupid. Life is way too important to waste it on something you can't fix.

[Ashy]

i am 14 and gay to. i know how you feel, i have not told anyone and feel upset because i am worried about what people will think if i tell them. it is really difficult

[Fourth Dimension]

I know how you feel I'm bi but more into guys and I know what its like to have to fake a smile acting like everything is okay when it isn't and I mean my friends know about me but my family doesn't and it would be bad if they did so I fake that I'm happy around them it sucks and people don't understand if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here just pm me or add me on my messengers wish you they best you will make it through it will get better

Sent from my Vortex using Tapatalk

[kuuliluuk]

Emiil, I think I know how you feel. I've felt the same. Even now I still feel the same. Make happy face, pretend to be like everyone else, to have a gf to show others while hurting her feelings because nothing was true. It made me hate myself so much I became suicidal. I almost succeeded. Fortunately I am still here. I am happy to see all the people around me. Still nobody knows that I am not straight. And I am not sure if they ever will know. May be I go to live to another country when I grow up. There I can be open I hope. I don't know. You just need to know that you aren't alone :) I could be happy if I could make you tiny bit happier with that smiley for example ----> :)

[Foamy]

That's kinda the problem with teens now- they think there are no GLBT unless they know one or are one. Don't worry, if u open up ppl will understand. Look at everyone helping u out now. It'll b fine.

[Emiil]

That's kinda the problem with teens now- they think there are no GLBT unless they know one or are one. Don't worry, if u open up ppl will understand. Look at everyone helping u out now. It'll b fine.

no they won't understand i know that. they will think im wierd

[Foamy]

Nobody is "normal". Everybody has that dirty little secret or unwanted feature they don't like . Read the signature and realize what eminem is saying.

[Icarus7]

Hi. I'm Emil.
Don't know if this is in the right section..
My life sucks at the moment. Sure, I have many friends and I'm great in school, but.. I am gay. Being 14 years old and already knowing that you like guys sucks. I won't tell family/friends that I'm gay until I'm at least 18, so 4 years left. I hate it. I cry almost every day. I have no one to talk to, no one would understand me anyway. I hate my life. I have to fake a smile every day, everyone thinks I'm a really happy person but I am crying inside.
Some people I've talked to says 4 years isnt that much but I can't do this anymore :( :( :( I want someone to talk to, that understands me. I want a boyfriend, I want to be loved. Sigh.. :(
Sorry if you feel like this is an unnecessary post..

Well Here you will find all kinds of ppl, from the nicest guys that will give you good advice :) to the meanest stupid liars :mad:. Like in RL, you should be selective on the ppl you want to meet. But once you find cool ppl, they are very friendly, they can help you in any thing that is troubling you, i know how you feel, is part of life and part of growing up. If you need someone to talk about problems and existential problems or any kind of situations... you can count on me :yes:

[SyrupSeal]

:( I was in the same sort of situation as you, and I still am. Anyway it really sucks. for some reason I just feel nothing. And people can tell too. I'm not out to the world yet and I've told people, but there's that nagging feeling that your life is gonna have twice as many hoops to jump through than most people. I share your grief. We'll both live though, things have to get worse before they get better.

[BiBoy5674]

if you need to talk i'm happy to help pm me :)

[Syvelocin]

Please do not bump old threads. :locked: