Okay, please help, am I gay?

[schrei jess]

I know that no one can really answer this question for me, I have to find it out myself but what is your opinion on this situation?

Alright, there is this girl, her name is Sarah, we are best friends. Ive known her since 6th grade, we became really good friends in 8th grade, but we've been friends since 6th, Im in 9th grade now. Anyway, she seems like the only one who gets me, and accepts me for who I am - she doesnt think Im weird like a lot of people do, and we have like the same brain in our heads, like we think the same about a lot of stuff, have the same ideas and opinions. We'll the thing is, I think I love her, not just best friend/sisterly love, but I think Im actually in love with her. She is the best girl Ive ever known, she just really gets me, I cant say that for anyone else I know. I can see myself with her, going out, maybe kissing her and stuff, but I could not see myself doing that with any other girl, just her. Does this make me gay? The thing that makes all of this so confusing is that I still find guys attractive but I wouldnt want to have sex with a guy or get involved in dating with one, but I wouldnt with a girl either. See I thought I was asexual, as in I dont like girls or boys, but then I just cant help but feel in love with Sarah. Does that make sense? No, she doesnt know, and I dont plan on telling her, she is definetly straight and does not like girls like that, I will not risk telling her this and have it fuck up our friendship. If I had to choose between just being friends or nothing at all, I choose friends. And another big problem is is that she will be leaving my school next year, her father is racist and we go to a predominately black school so she is leaving, not moving, but she already lives an hour away from me and we just dont get to see each other that much, but I see her at school everyday and even then we dont get to talk much, but when we do - everything feels like perfect, she makes me feel so much better about things. She is like the only thing in my life that isnt completely fucked up, and I cant lose that. She promises me that we will stay in touch she said she doesnt want to lose me either, so Im going to try. If I lost her, I wont have anything! Ive lost two or three best friends throughout my life, and I dont want to add her to the list.

Please someone help, I just dont know what to do/think about this.

[Mannequin]

Right now is pretty confusing in general.
Put it this way.
Would you rather have sex with a hot female or a hot male. Answer this honestly to yourself. Don't say i dont know either. Pretend you want to kiss or have sex with the hottest male alive or the hottest female. you can only have one.

[Waiting]

tbh if you have to ask wether your gay or not. i doubt you are.

[schrei jess]

Okay the thing is, I dont want to have sex with a girl or a guy! That is where the thought of me being asexual came in, I just cant imagine sex at all. I dont even know why but when I think of having sex with a guy, It seems so wrong to me, but then I cant even imagine having sex with a girl, not because I dont want to be gay, but because I just dont like sex! Im not saying this because I want to avoid the question or because Im confused, I really do not like sex. I dont know why, but I dont.

So what do I do then?

When I think about that even harder, if I was with sarah like going out, and she wanted to have sex, I would do it for her, not because I want it but because she did. Does that make me gay?

And I understand what you mean Waiting, but people usually dont figure out till late teens what their true sexuality is, and if Im even questioning being straight, it's worth looking into right?

[Φρανκομβριτ]

tbh if you have to ask wether your gay or not. i doubt you are.

--

[football]

i dont think this makes u gay but how dooes she feel about u?

[schrei jess]

She has a best friends love for me, like were kind of like "sisters" I guess, just a non-romantic love, but I love her so much more than that.

[Waiting]

its not a case of 'looking into it' being gay aint like buying a house...hmmm i wonder if this would be a good buy for me...
its not a choice
many teens feel attracted to the opposite sex at some point
and you will most probably grow out of it.
but if you were gay,, you'd know it.

[schrei jess]

Im not stupid, I know you dont decide to be gay. And this isnt the first time I thought I could be gay, this time it just seems to be stronger. Ive had one relationship with a guy, we went out for maybe a year, but it was during the time that I picked up cutting and had my first serious depressive episode - things didnt work out with him, I never got as close to him as I wanted. It just seems like a relationship with a girl would be better, girls understand girls better than a guy would, Im just so confused right now. I was hoping for some help, that's all.

[Waiting]

i dont understand what you want to be told tho?
in all fairness
none of us have met you
and know your personality in real life
we dont know what your like in real life
we dont know much
we cant tell you if yor gay or not from posts ont he internet
its impossible
we can say what it sounds like, but everyone is different
and only YOU will know if your straight, bi or gay
and when you grow up a bit,
you will know for sure.
you seem like a really sweet girl
and im sorry i cant help you propaly
xxxx

[Φρανκομβριτ]

basically, I'm going to say that it's probably just your hormones raging. Nothings wrong, and it'll probably go away

[Glasgow]

Maybe your just scared of sex from all the dreams about rape and maybe being molested at a young age?

[schrei jess]

Thanks Waiting, Im sorry, I guess I dont know what kind of answer I expected, I would just really like to know for sure, it's just so confusing.

And Leper that is what I think is wrong but I dont even know what kind of an impact being molested had on me, I do know the dreams scare me, and I guess I just dont know what to expect when it comes to sex, I dont really want to find out.

The only thing I really know for sure about all of this is that I am in love with a girl.

[Sapphire]

I know this isn't going to be the best advice ever given, but try not to freak out about it. Only with time can something like this become definite. It may be that you are gay, it may be that you aren't.
It took me to fall for three females before I was definite in my sexuality. Just be patient Jess.

(I shall add more later, but i am late to meet my gf as it is! lol :D)

[schrei jess]

Thank you, I think that is the best advice Ive recieved, that helped a lot :)

[Sapphire]

:) glad I helped. I guess I needn't add any more then! lol.

[Melchi0r]

Perhaps you're gay, perhaps your friendship with her is just reeaaaally deep.

[Kamloops.man]

Ok. so What if you're gay. Accept it.. I did! Who cares! Just keep moving on in life rather than being caught up in this.

[schrei jess]

I wont have a problem with it if I am gay, but Im just asking because Im unsure and Im confused. Being confused about your sexuality is hard, not something you really want to worry about, and Ive always assumed straight - and now that Im questioning, it's a little bit scary.

If I knew what I was, I would definetly accept it but I dont know, so I cant.

[redcar]

Mmmm can't believe I didn't see this. Anyway I am going to throw in my two cents when it comes to this, like I always do!

When it comes to sexuality, its the biggest pain in the arse ever I will add, you actually do know the answer already. Wheather or not you realise it is a different story. The best bit of advice I ever got was "To find out if you are gay, you need to look in your heart of hearts and then you will know the answer."

I know it sounds like a fucking riddle or something like that but personally it was the question that i refused to ask myself for years because I knew what the answer would be and it terrified me.

When it comes down to the whole sexuality business the best thing is just to go with the flow, and it will all unravel itself eventually.

God I do talk a whole load of crap!!:P

[Bi-Girl01]

i've got the same thing wif my friend, but its hard cos i am bi...but seriously it dont necessarily make u gay or bi. it jdut means that u love her but...me and my best friend got over it, she don like tha i love her like that but it cools down adn u stop having such extrem emotions. not that it goes but u accpet that it can;t b.
i'm not saying tell ehr,i dont really know wat i'm saying cept tat i've been thorgh it too

[Kamloops.man]

its not a case of 'looking into it' being gay aint like buying a house...hmmm i wonder if this would be a good buy for me...
its not a choice
many teens feel attracted to the opposite sex at some point
and you will most probably grow out of it.
but if you were gay,, you'd know it.

I agree!