Children?

[beardedboy]

For those of you who are gay or bi out there, have you given any thought about having children? If so, then by what means?

I know for me, I am the last in my entire family that is able to pass on my family name. I am the only boy left with my last name, so our bloodline ends with me. I wouldn't say that there is pressure, but I do feel compelled to have a child for those reasons. But I also want a child for the sake of having one. I know they have artificial insemination which is expensive and you need to find a willing woman to house your baby for 9 months. And there is adoption, but that just doesn't seem like what I want to do. Although that kid maybe happy to be out of foster care, in my mind I will still think that it isn't my kid, whether I want to or not. I know that sounds mean, but I want my bloodline to continue, and if I adopt then it is no longer "my" bloodline.

Has anyone else thought about this and what you are going to do about it? I would hate to have heterosexual sex and then divorce her.

[disassociation2016]

Personally I'd love to have kids, but I'm unsure how raising them would go. I'd love to have the "perfect" family, but I fear it may not play out that way.

- Just to add. I'd definitely be searching for a desirable female to make smart and beautiful children with, but those types don't come easy and for a gay male would nearly be impossible (without a substantial amount of money...).

[Love.Hate]

Personally I'd love to have kids, but I'm unsure how raising them would go. I'd love to have the "perfect" family, but I fear it may not play out that way.

This is pretty much the same with me.. but from a girls point of view.
I perceive the "perfect" family to have a mom and a dad. I dont want to bring kids into this world to be targetted to bullying because they have two mothers. So i dont know about kids.

[Mislin]

This is pretty much the same with me.. but from a girls point of view.
I perceive the "perfect" family to have a mom and a dad. I dont want to bring kids into this world to be targetted to bullying because they have two mothers. So i dont know about kids.

One off my friends have 2 mothers, we have never made fun off him because off this, I couldn't care less if someone has 2 mothers or 2 fathers. He is one off the nicest guys iv met! I don't see the problem for all off you to have kids, I think it's just nice ^^

[marquis]

Personally I'd love to have kids, but I'm unsure how raising them would go. I'd love to have the "perfect" family, but I fear it may not play out that way.

- Just to add. I'd definitely be searching for a desirable female to make smart and beautiful children with, but those types don't come easy and for a gay male would nearly be impossible (without a substantial amount of money...).

same here:)

[Tristin.]

my brother can carry the line on, but i still would love kids

a boy and girl i think :)
id do the artificial insemination thing for sure, im sure somone will be willing to have the baby for me and my partner. in relation to the whole bullying thing, it cant be helped, but id try and stop it if i could

[Emiil]

I'm bi (more into guys tho hehe) and I want kids.. it sucks

[beardedboy]

Thanks for the input guys, and gal. :) I really do want children, but doing it the traditional way doesn't necessarily appeal to me. If I have the money then definitely artificial insemination, but otherwise I wouldn't mind adopting a baby. I would rather not adopt a teenager though, just because you don't get to experience 'parenthood' like you do with a baby, you know? :)

[Parlement]

My brother is to much of a wimp to have children. So I guess it's all up to me. That's what my mom said anyway. However, if I do end up with a man and feel that I want to have a child, I guess I wouldn't mind just not having one.

After all, if we did adopt, or do artificial ensemination (sorry for spelling) then while the kid is in school, he'd probably get bullied for having two dads, and I don't want any kid to have to go through that.

Also... READ YOUR MESSAGE BOARD!

[teenmanchester]

i know how you feel, i'm in that sort of predicament too but i'm just gonna wait and see how i feel at the time and if the person i'm with wants kids, i understand the fostering thing and would love to have children that is part of my flesh and blood. my perfect scenario is me and my guy, and two kids a boy and a girl both from artificial insemination, one from me and the other from him :)

[Parlement]

But by the time I'm able to adopt, the world might have a much different opinion on gays. So my opinion might change entirely.

[swbboy]

I dont think i would want kids, but that may change over the years

[Magus]

Yes, by fucking my cousin, and then take that child with me and my future gay happy husband.

[beardedboy]

I understand where you guys are coming from with the kid being ridiculed for having two fathers, but what is more important? That kid is going to love both dads so much, and be happy to be in there protective care. You see on the news all the time about a mother drowning her child, a father shaking the child to death, but you never see gay couples like that. When a gay couple gets married and has a kid, it is because they want it, not because of an accident. haha. Plus, like you guys said, the world is becoming more tolerant of gays so in 15 years, I think most of the world will be accepting. Who knows for sure though? :)

[Skeptical Bear]

Well, I'm Bi but I have always told my self that I would try and have children when I'm old enough. I love children and the thought of having a family is a good image for me. What scares me is that I might shift to liking men more than women when I'm older and having that will make it harder to handle a family if I become gay. Then there's many other possibilities on having children which I'm open to but I'm hoping I'll be able to have children with a woman that I'll love.

[grstl]

I already have a son, ready or not....

I am a really gay guy whose best friend, who is a girl, fell in love with me and we actually
chose to have a baby.

She wanted to be a mother and I wanted to be a good father. I told her how gay I had been and we thought I might go straight through the experience, which I desperately wanted to try to fit into my really conservative Christian environment.

The sex was ok for me and I have tried hard to make it what she needs.
My son is a joy, but we totally underestimated the challenge of raising him together.
I really feel the ideal is for a child to be raised by both biological parents as a she thinks of the things that are what most guys might overlook.
However, I am still definitely gay, not even bi, which really challenges us as I can meet some of her needs but not her deep need for me to only want to be hers.
Also, I really dread the day my cover is blown and I either have to "convert" or be hounded by my family. I am also afraid that my son will ends up embarrassed, a homophobe, or might never really think he could openly gay if he wants to be.

I guess what I have discovered is that you better be sure you and all around you are ready for you to be a gay parent and be sure to provide for your child's mama needs which only she can completely fulfil. Also, I think your can never assumed what your child's experiences and opinions will be.

STILL, HE AND WE ARE ALL A JOY!
Hope all this challenges you to think and love as you dare to parent.

[Starlight Blaze]

Well I have thought about it a lot actually, especially now. Before I realized I was gay, I knew i wanted children. Their joy, their laughter, everything about them was amazing. To this day that remains true. That is why my plan is to (hopefully) get artificial insemination, and have a kid from each of us that way, and afterwards, if we want any more kids adopt. I know that having two dads (or moms for that matter) can be hard, but one of my best friends as a child had two moms, and nobody thought anything of it. Plus it would hopefully help the children to be more sure of themselves, more confident, better than I was. I just want to help them grow, and see them be happy.
Having kids, whether through adoption or other means, is not a want for me, it is a need.

[Syvelocin]

I hate kids. Absolutely fucking hate them. I've been decided on not having kids since I was very young, actually, and that still stands. I've thought about this quite a lot.

I sometimes fantasize about how I would raise one of my own and such, but then, I can't even think about my child being related to some random man who donated to the sperm bank. Even in that case, I would DEFINITELY not be the one to carry the child, it would be my partner. Because A. I'm not fit for it, B. No fucking way am I giving my child HIV, and I would hate to see them have my mental issues as well, and C. If I had to choose between who she would look more like, it would have to be my partner and not me.

That brings me to another issue. I would worry too much about it being a boy. No offence, but I really don't feel like raising a boy. It seems like more trouble, and neither of us would understand him as well as if we had a girl. Then, of course, the obvious answer then is adoption. In the event I even want a child, I am torn on that subject, because the good things about that are you'd be giving a home to a child who really needs one, and you can sort of choose your child, girl or boy, quiet or extroverted, etc. but no genes would be passed on, and it's hard to think about not being able to say to them "You have your mum's eyes" or something. That's part of my fantasy as well. She'd be the striking image of my partner, a beautiful little girl.

It's very, very unlikely that any of that will happen however, because of the first point that I made. I just can't stand anything about them. Kids and I don't go together. Of course, the only kids that are exceptions are my little brother and sister, but it's not like the odds of getting a close replica of them are quite high.

[Mewp]

Never thought of it, frankly. I'd rather be an Uncle =3

[mrbob360]

im bi and i would love to have twin boys but i dont know why but yer i would love to have 2 twin boys

[Tristin.]

twin boys are amazing (blowing own trumpet :P )

[man with freaky plan]

This is unlikely, but you could fine someone kind enough to have your baby, knowing that it would be youre and youre husbands, appart from that I don't really know many other options :/

[teenmanchester]

to add what i put before, i'd still have kids even if they faced being ridiculed because im hoping in the future that things will have changed, like so much has changed now, i just want to be a great dad when the time comes and i want to embrace it and just have a family of my own :)

[sieg]

well i would just adopt

[Pancakes]

I am bi but I am more into chicks I would love to have a little boy