Mum Vs daddy...

[Ashleigh]

My parents split little over six years ago and my mother won't let it go. My daddy has nothing against her and speaks about her maturely and civilly. However my mother will always be at his throat and always speak of him badly. She won't even let me and my sister go to his wedding in November. I've talked to her time and time again but she won't listen and she continues to act this way. It's gotten beyond rediculous now and she can't even see that she's pushing me away. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Patchy]

Hi Ashleigh,

My situation a few years ago was similar to yours.

My parents split when I was 6/7 and have been separated (recently divorced) since then. My mum did the same thing as your mum is, however I only recently found out my dad was being a bastard to her as well. Like not really contributing to my upbringing and not seeing much of me.

You just kinda have to see her point, she's obviously very upset at him, however she shouldn't take it out on you. If you say to her that you understand that she is annoyed at your dad but she shouldn't involve you in the situation.

I hope this helps.

[Ashleigh]

Thanks Patrick,
I do see your point however my dad hasn't ever not helped with my upbringing and I understand she doesn't like him and that she is upset with him it's just that this has gone on long enough and she doesn't see how immature she's being with it all. She's already practically turned my sister against him by insulting him infront of us and planting things in her head :/ I've tried telling her that it's not fair one or my sister but she won't listen. She just can't let it go.

[Patchy]

It must be very frustrating for you.

Best thing to do, is rise above it and be the mature one. I feel sorry for your sister believing her.

If you she keeps going on about him to you, just say something like "You are entitled to your own opinion mum but I don't necessarily need to agree with it or listen to it"

[Ashleigh]

Yea you're right it does get incredibly frustrating. Thankyou for your thoughts to be honest I think youre right. I just wish there was something I could do

[Patchy]

Best thing you can do, is to ignore/not get involved. If you do it will probably get worse.

[Love.Hate]

Best thing you can do, is to ignore/not get involved. If you do it will probably get worse.

This is really good advice.

You are probably going to cause more trouble between them by getting involved. My parents are also spilt and i know it can be a nightmare, each one hates the other. But they need to work through their differences.. and you have to try you best not to get involved.

If you sit your mother down and explain to her how much it means to you to be at that wedding, im sure she will understand. Your dad is being the mature one, but she feels like she is being replaced. So assure her that you only have one mum.. which is her and you love her lots. But it would mean a lot to be there on your fathers special day :)

[Ashleigh]

I understand where you are coming from but my dads only gotten with his fiancé in the last year :S so it can't be that she feels threatened?

[Love.Hate]

I understand where you are coming from but my dads only gotten with his fiancé in the last year :S so it can't be that she feels threatened?

Its possible. She just doenst want to be replaced i guess.. she doesnt want you to favour her dads girlfriend to her.

[Ashleigh]

This has been going on for six, nearly seven years now so I don't quite see how this could be the case. :S

[ItStOuGhEnOuGh4Us]

I know this situation, and it is difficult. Why our parents act immature and involve "their" issues with one another upon their children I will never understand. Perhaps you can ask her not to do that, and let her know that her actions are getting in the way of your relationship with her. It is hurtful, and immature.

[Mike8492]

This isn't uncommon. My parents divorced when I was around 10-11 but it was for a good reason. From what I have seen in other cases that I have seen, it seems like your mom still might have feelings for your dad. Another thing is something that you may not know about could have happened. The only thing you can do is to ask her what is her what's wrong. You may have to be persistent and stern for you to get anything out of her but be honest, loving, make good points and last but not least, be straight up. If that doesn't work, you may have to let her know that she needs to let go and you want to support your dad and have him in your life with out the crap.

[Ambrosia]

Please don't bump old threads (from four months ago!) :locked: