empty.

[Ashleigh]

hi. im sorry if im posting in the wrong section but i kinda dont know roughly where this would go so feel free to move it.

im constantly waking up in the morning not wanting to get out of bed, feeling empty and already regretting the day before its begun. i constanly feel hollow yet i also feel this heavy weight in my chest.

ive cut myself away from many of my friends and many of them dont even bother trying to talk to me anymore. when im at home i mainly stay in my room away from my family.

i find that i often cannot concentrate on my school work or any course work which is making my grades drop dramatically and im often being put in detention. my mother has high expectations of me and i can tell that she is dissapointed in my behaviour and i know that it scares her that i hardley ever leave my room and that i hardley talk to her or my sister anymore.
teachers at school are starting to ask questions now aswell because i sometimes forget to put on a smile and i end up walking into their classrooms with a blank expression and with what my friend called 'empty eyes'

i was wondering if anyone knew what this is and how i can stop it because it is really starting to scare me and im just tired of this constant numb feeling. ive had it for the past two years.

[RoseyCadaver]

Sweety,you sound like you have depressioni,I would go see a doctor or therapist,maybe talk to someone why you feel so hollow.Do you know why you feel hollow?Just try your best to not cut yourself,which I know is very hard if you feel hollow.If you need any help just PM me or write something on wall.

[Ashleigh]

No I have no idea why :/ I've been trying to figure it out for a while and I would go see my GP but my mum thinks I'm ok now and that I've stopped self harming. I don't want to go back to the times where she checks my arms every evening and morning :/

[insanity]

*huge hugs* it does sound alot like depression. I was in exactly the same trouble last year, it ended up that my depression was biological and was caused by low levels of ceretonin in my body, so it is possible that there is no obvious reason behind it. I really recemend going to see a GP, are you able to tell your mum how you feel? or is there any other adult you trust who could arrange it for you? pm me if you want to talk (:

[RoseyCadaver]

I forgot to hug you too ^^ *does a group hug*.I feel so sorry,my mom never found I used to cut myself.If you do trust your mom,I would tell her everything and ask to see a a doctor.

[December]

I often get that numb feeling too. I would recommend talking to someone if you can, but I know that's not always an option for everyone. If you can't or don't feel comfortable talking to an adult, do you have a friend you can trust? Either way, hang in there :)

[Ashleigh]

*hugs back*
I can't talk to my mum and my daddy totally freaks if I go near the subject :/ I can talk to my ex's dad cos he's a doctor but I'm kinda scared to talk to anyone about it properly cos the last time I did all I got from it was being patronised :/

[Kuervo]

try going to see a doctor or thereapist in private, meaning tht ur parents dont konw anything about it you know. i get this feeling too sometimes, twice a month maybe and i feel the same really. its just a horrible feeling to get. idk about u but my eyes sometimes get watery and i get this massive urgency to bawl out crying wherevr i am. im pretty sure its a type of depression you have, i dont see another explanation for the feelings ur getting. hope i helped :) *hugzzz!!!*

[Ashleigh]

I think I am going to go to the doctors. I dunno how I'm going to keep it away from my mum. And yes I get that all the time every day my eyes are watery and I feel like bursting out in tears. I have it now if I'm being honest. It's getting out of hand and to be honest I just want it to stop.

[Kuervo]

yeah thatd be a good idea :) if u dont go now, its gonna get harder later on

[MattVon]

I'm a bit disappointed with your mother, I think it's rather wrong of her to be disappointed about and do nothing about it; I assume she isn't doing anything to aid you with your work. As for staying in your room, I personally see nothing wrong with that. That's something I do mainly because I find nothing entertaining to do outside, or around the house and all the things I enjoy I have in my room.

I would most likely agree with everyone else in here about seeing a doctor, that's your choice at the end of the day and I hope things work out if you do go see one. I'd also like to point out, if you're ever afraid to talk to someone I am highly sure myself or any other respectable caring member on this forum will talk to you. I'm always open ears for all my friends, a good few of them have become accustomed to talking to me because they can really trust me and I tend to say things they may not think, either way. Any member hear or myself will be willing to talk to you about anything for that matter if you ever need it.

[Ashleigh]

Matthew. Thankyou for your post,. No, you're right she is not doing anything to help me with my work. Apparently she's too busy to even ask when exams are and when I do tell her she forgets and doesn't even bother asking how they went. She just constantly makes remarks on how if I applied myself i could get straight A's and A*'s.

In response to the doctors I am going to call them up tomorrow when I meet up with my boyfriend, as he has promised to go with me as it is something I am not comfortable with doing alone and I need to know if he can make the appointment.
Thankyou again.