My friend

[Shenron]

So, I have this friend who I like a lot as a friend. We have known each other for almost two years now but really only started to hang out outside of school within the last 6 or 7 months. He comes over and stays the night every now and then. He was over last night and today after he left he said that while I was sleeping he saw that I had a boner and he smacked it (playfully I assume lol). This really doesnt bother me at all. He then proceeded to tell me that he thought he was bi and then flat out asked me if I'd be willing to experiment with him. Now he doesn't know I'm bi, so that begs the question why was he so honest and open with me. Again, I don't mind it but I am curious. I wouldn't mind experimenting with him but I do have a concern or two about doing so. I am concerned that it may affect our relationship in a negative way, you know, introduce some degree of awkwardness between us. I am also kind of shy but that's a problem only I can fix lol. He was totally straightfoward when asking if id experiment with him and said that after seeing my boner last night he'd like to see it unobstructed lol. So my question is, what are your thoughts on this and what would you do?

[Contra]

We can't really know why he asked it so bluntly, perhaps he's just brave enough to do it.
If you feel that experimenting with him will make things awkward between you, then you probably shouldn't do it. But there are also friends who do it, and instead of getting things awkward, it actually strengthens the friendship.
If it was me, if I felt comfortable enough with him, I'd do it.

Good luck :)

[Parlement]

Well, with me being bi also, I would do it in a heart beat. I've been waiting my entire life to do something like this with somebody of the same gender. It should be a good experience.

And with him being so straight forward with you, I think you should tell him that you're bi also. And since he's so confortable with you, I don't think it could harm your friendship at all, only strengthen it.

Don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do though, do what feels right.

[Shenron]

I see where you are coming from and I can understand the sentiment of strengthening the relationship. I really like the guy because we have many common interests. In a way I hope he reads this because I can put thoughts in words on paper so to speak better than I can speak them lol. I'd be interested to see what others have to say.

[Unlucky_Leprechaun]

I think if you attempt to talk to him about it.. jump over your shyness and just talk, let him know your feelings. I think that once it ( if it does) start, the awkwardness would not be as strong if you just did some random stuff together. Go slow and talk about it as you go forward. Good Luck !

[Parlement]

Since he trusts you so much, I just really feel that you should trust him and tell him also, that you are bi. It could lead to a very good friendship.

I'd also tell him that you're thinking about experimenting with him, so he's not left in the dust feeling akward because you haven't replied yet.

[Shenron]

You know, after talking to him for a bit I think the problem is that I know him so well lol. I mean the things he is asking me are the same things you ask any guy you are interested in. I've talked to other guys that I don't know as well and haven't had a problem talking about this and getting through the basics and moving on to other things but with him I'm at a loss for words lol. Do you think the fact that we are friends might have to do with my hesitation?

[Parlement]

Definatly.

But you don't have anything to worry about. Telling him won't make anything worse. And you won't have to be hiding anything from him anymore. Telling him that you're bi also, would probably make him feel a lot more comfortable telling you these types of things, because at least he knows you understand. Being a good friend is what it's all about.

As far as things getting akward, yeah, it might happen. But friends can get through these kinds of things. Don't sweat it. Experimenting with him doesn't mean that one day he'll ask you out or something, maybe he just wants to get some experience as to how he feels about you.

Just get it over with! Tell him you're bisexual and see how much better your friendship gets. Keeping secrets from your best bud, after you've told people that aren't as close as he is to you doesn't seem right to me. What if you where him, and he was you. Wouldn't you want to know?

[Shenron]

What if you where him, and he was you. Wouldn't you want to know?

Good point. And to be honest I don't know why I didn't just tell him when he told me. Thanks for the advice and if anyone else has anything to say or anyone has anything to add please do so.

[Parlement]

Telling him when he told you would had been a lot more easy. Lol. It takes a lot of guts.

I like this thread... I sure wish I had a friend like that :P

[Shenron]

Telling him when he told you would had been a lot more easy. Lol. It takes a lot of guts.

I like this thread... I sure wish I had a friend like that :P

You know, for the longest time reading threads on here or talking to online friends that would say they had a friend like this I always thought the same thing "damn i wish i was that lucky" and now that i have a friend like this I honestly don't know what to do. I mean, its different telling people you dont know very well or at all than it is telling a friend. I know he will be ok with it but I really dont know how to tell him. Not only that but as far as experimenting goes, I've done it before with a friend from where I used to live. With him it just kinda happened, It was a while ago and I dont really remember how or what led to what. With this friend, it is almost as if he wants to plan it and to me that just feels wierd. I guess my life consists of too much spontaneity. Today we talked some more and I voiced my concerns (through texting if you are curious). He asked if we could start with something small and go from there and I just said that we would see what happened and take things as they come. He then proceeded to ask how big I was and I replied and asked him the same question. This all feels wierd and I dont understand why lol.

[Parlement]

From your point of view it kinda sounds like he wants to be more than just "experimental friends". If it feels weird, maybe it's best you don't do it. Tell your friend it feels wierd. After all, you don't want to lead him on.

but can you answer this question -

Do you want to experiment with him, or not? And do you want a real relationship with him, or would you just rather stay friends and forget that he asked you to experiment?

[Shenron]

Well, see, lol. When I say it feels wierd I don't mean in a bad way, I mean in a "what the hell is this" kind of way. I mean I truly have no problem with experimenting with him but to be honest im not sure if it is experimenting for him or not lol. I mean it doesnt bother me either way. I guess I just dont really know how to instigate it, or how I will react if he instigates it.

[Parlement]

I see...

Well if you do in fact want to experiment with him, I think you would first want to establish that you just want him to know it's just experimenting, and that's all you want to happen. Sorta like a "Friends with benifets" type of thing? Right?

Or who knows. Maybe you both are attracted to eachother. I'm only 14, and I know how hard it is to find another bi/gay male in an area.

BTW, I got your PM. I very much appreciate it. Me being only 14, I'm not sure how much I know, but I do like to help people out. One of my friends even suggested that I become a counselor when I get older :P

[Shenron]

I know what you are trying to say and I intend to talk to him about this tomorrow. Thanks for the help, I suppose I will keep you all updated on the outcome of the situation.

Parlement, you seem to know alot, you seem as though you don't talk out of your ass like some people I know. Thats a good thing considering many people like to sound like they know what they are talking about when they really dont.

[Parlement]

A ton of my friends are girls, so they always tell me their problems and I end up having to help them. Gotta have good advice for my friends :D

Anyway.... it's tomorrow. Updates please. Teehee.

[Shenron]

So no luck in talking to him, I was hoping he'd bring it up but no such luck. I'm a chicken :( lol. I just don't know how to approach him lol.

[Parlement]

Be brave like he was. Just come straight out with it. Just like he did. Just remember, he deserves to know the truth. And who knows? Maybe after you tell him he'll be a ton more open to you about things. (not that he wasn't already, lol)

[Shenron]

Lol, I am more the subtle type, I'm not usually that blunt with people...unless I'm pissed off lol.

[Parlement]

But he's your friend foo! Doooo eeet.

[Shenron]

Yeah, I know. I guess I'll know when the best time to talk to him will be.

[Parlement]

The faster the better. You know, like ripping those really sticky band-aids off. And since he's bisexual, he's going to understand. You don't have anything to worry about, except that his feeling for you might get even stronger.

[cameron123]

I wish i had that much guts. i have a friend just like this. known eachother for like 4 years but only recently started talking. but i am 14 and bi and want to experiment with him but dont want to ruin the friendship :confused: