I left my house today

[MadManWithaBox]

I left my house today. Which normally isn't an achievement. But I hadn't left it for 3 weeks, except for 2 trips to the hospital and one to the doctors. But I had to go the shopping centre. For iTunes vouchers. And to order a book. So I went. Even though I hadn't taken my meds and I was in, how to say, a spiral the whole time. But the people in the Apple shop were very nice. So I got my iPad 2 I ordered, some books, iTunes vouchers, and 2 games. In half an hour. Before the panic completely ruined me. And I snagged one if my stitches on a cut on my arm, and that got the whole thing, so it's kinda a mess and bleeding. But still, any victory. I went out.

[bambino]

welldone matt!! thats brilliant, i know how difficult it is
definitley a victory (: you should be proud
now you've gotten over the fear once you know youre capable, and you can keep overcoming it

[MadManWithaBox]

No I dont think I can do it again :( I was just short on stuff.

[bambino]

of course you can! i have faith in you
like you said the people were perfectly nice :) and you'll need things again future, and you'll be able to do it

[Dimitri]

Hey man, I am happy to see that you made it out of the house, I kno wyou will be able to do it again, just make a list of things that you need and only get one of them a day so if will force you to have to go out again.

Now lets see about this arm, what a re you going to do about it. Have you cleaned it and if so how have you cleaned it?

I read thi sin your sig and I think you need ot look at it:
"FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again....even though every time you've tried before you've lost

[MadManWithaBox]

No I was really freaking today. I was forcing myself to move. Not again. Can't take my normal meds. And I wiped it with an anti bacterial wipe.

[Dimitri]

BUt what about the stickes matt, and why did you not take your regular meds, is something going on?

[MadManWithaBox]

I can't take my social anxiety and schizophrenia meds at the sane time as the cancer ones. Then I'm pretty much non functioning.

[Dimitri]

Have you talked to you physicians about this, I think they need ot be taken matt, I am worried about you.

[Love.Hate]

Matt im really f*cking proud of you!
That is really good, regardless of how it turned out. You still went out.. and without your meds! Thats even braver. Well done you :heart:

I hope its not such a mess now, and you got it all sorted out :)

[Azunite]

Great job man.

But don't you feel better now? You should continue going outside. Don't get stuck in your house man, that isn't life!

Of course it will take some time for you to get out again, but as time passes, it will be easier for you to do stuff. You just need to keep trying!

[MadManWithaBox]

No I was just terrified. I couldn't breathe. I was having all sorts of shit in my mind. They were all staring at me. Like I was a freakshow. I'm not. And they were talking about me. Loud voices. Couldn't bear it.

[Azunite]

But you must! Don't mind anyone! When people start to see you more, things will change. They won't look at you as if you were a freakshow.

[MadManWithaBox]

:/ I wish it was as easy as that

[Parlement]

I'm new to this side of the forums.

From what I've read in this thread you have cancer, and schizophrenia, and social anxiety?

I haven't even met you, and I'm very proud of you. Good job.

You know, I thought I had it bad. I have acne, not the worst acne, but not the most mild. I didn't leave my house for months on end, except to go to school because I was embarassed by it.

GOSH, I'm such a wimp compared to you! I'm very proud of you, I hope you keep it up. Just believe in yourself. We all love you. :)