beaten by father

[phish]

Today I went to my father's house, we got into an argument and it escalated. He grabbed my arm, I punched him and he punched me in the mouth twice, twisted my arm behind my head and punched me 6 times in the back of the head. He then shouted "I should f***ing kill you" and "You're so f***ing lucky, if it were anyone else I'd kill them" many times while holding me on the floor. He then directed me to slowly move toward the phone and call my brother and have him pick me up. He said he couldn't. He then physically threw me out of the house. I called the police and he was arrested. It was not warranted, though I was being an donkey. He has never done anything at all before(psychically I mean), he holds down a high paying white collar job, not the general type.

I spoke with the police man and he said I should no longer live with my father or "Someone is going to get killed if things escalate like that".

I don't know what to do, if I testify he'll go to jail and he'll loose his job. I'll be screwed. I don't know what to think either, is this type of thing common?

[HellHound]

This should be moved.I think as a father i would have hit you if you had the bad manner to hit me first.It sounds you started the fight and if i'ts the first time just go apologize and fix the situation.

[tav18]

What do want ? - to be beaten by your father everytime you see him
he should be reported- something like this can affect you, school,friends it shouldn't be that way

-your being physically hurt and he's threatning you
i'm not saying you shouldn't love your father- but you have to realize he shouldn't be doing that kind of stuff it can hurt you in many ways.

[aussiebunnie]

Today I went to my father's house, we got into an argument and it escalated. He grabbed my arm, I punched him and he punched me in the mouth twice, twisted my arm behind my head and punched me 6 times in the back of the head. He then shouted "I should f***ing kill you" and "You're so f***ing lucky, if it were anyone else I'd kill them" many times while holding me on the floor. He then directed me to slowly move toward the phone and call my brother and have him pick me up. He said he couldn't. He then physically threw me out of the house. I called the police and he was arrested. It was not warranted, though I was being an donkey. He has never done anything at all before(psychically I mean), he holds down a high paying white collar job, not the general type.

I spoke with the police man and he said I should no longer live with my father or "Someone is going to get killed if things escalate like that".

I don't know what to do, if I testify he'll go to jail and he'll loose his job. I'll be screwed. I don't know what to think either, is this type of thing common?

You need to do the right thing which is what you feel is the best in that situation. If you were being an arse and started it, then you should have some fault.

One thing that you should think about is if you choose not to testify, it can be a foundation to build a relationship with your father. Perhaps he will learn a valuable lesson and treat you better in the future.

Remember one thing, you have one father.

[Neverender]

Call the cops. Even if this was a one-time deal caused by flaring tempers, who is to say tempers won't flare again, this time with worse repurcussions. Get out of the house. Live with someone else. Just make sure you aren't in danger whereever you call home.

[SWMG]

Well since it seems that you started the fight that might affect a little but you should testify if you want to be safe

[Joshuagoesrawr2]

I think you shouldnt testify if this was a one deal thing. if it wasnt then you should. I gone through this kind of thing except it was for 3 yrs. now my stepdad cant touch me or else he is going to jail and he hasnt lost his job. I didnt testify. BUT REMEMBER EVEN THOUGH A PARENT SHOULDNT DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT NO MATTER WHAT! BUT YOU MUST ALSO REMEMBER THAT YOU THREW THE FIRST PUNCH!!!!!!!!

[Rubber]

dont think you should testify, cause you even admit you started the fight. If this is the first incident i think you should just apologize, and youll probably both agree things got WAYYY out of hand. Seems like you two need to rebuiild your relationship now. Or you can just say your goodbyes and move on. up to u. Ever happens again though you should bring it to court thouh.

[RoseyCadaver]

You need to do the right thing which is what you feel is the best in that situation. If you were being an arse and started it, then you should have some fault.


Sooo being an ass hole mean he deserves to be treated like crap and abused?

I would tell them the WHOLE story,don't hold back just tell them.You're father should not have reacted that way,and he MUST of had a break down that day.That still is NO excuse for to do that.

I'm very sorry to hear this from you,and I'm really sorry for saying this,but you're father does seem suitable right now for children.I would testify depending how badly the condition I was in.

[aussiebunnie]

Sooo being an ass hole mean he deserves to be treated like crap and abused?



In some places yes. Over in NZ and AUS they allow you to use reasonable force (not a closed hand) to discipline your kid. Smacking is allowed. But obviously this was not smacking.

I just think that if the father starting punching him it would be different. He punched his father after the father "Grabbed his hand". My concern is the effect of him going to Court and testifying against his father - it isn't easy. It will not be easy if the evidence of him throwing the first punch will negate his fathers culpability. That is a possible consequence too.

But the decision is up to the OP. I think that maybe counseling is a better option since this is a once off incident as it seems. If it was more than once off, then that's a different story.