guyfromnowhere
June 2nd, 2011, 05:19 AM
When I was a little kid. I remember a memory of my grandpa. It's questionable that he raped me. He had thrown me to the floor right after I had just woken up and pulled my pants down. He said it was for my own good. That's all I remember. I have no problems with reminders of that room. I actually like recliners and memories of the room are nice. I don't have flashbacks. I did feel unusual sexual feelings towards any guy of any age even little babies which I feel guilty over now. I had wanted my own dad to sexually abuse me when he'd embrace me. I had made sexual advances at other boys at my very age. Anyway I told about my grandpa. My mom made me lie to a detective and now my grandpa got put on the sex offender list. My mom's family blames me but they never spoke to me about it. They asked my mom and took their judgements from then. After I lied for that summer by my mom telling me to. I refused to testify. My mom told the detective I was ging through a denial point but I wasn't. I never told her the story she made up because she believed I was raped because of her. I just know that at some point this subject is going to come up for me but I don't know what to say since I can't stand by that story and I can't say it didn't happen. It's like maybe I would've been asked then maybe I wouldn't have this problem. Help plz??