Need to take my mind off it.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Since I've last posted on here, my parents found out about me cutting. God that was horrible.
Split up with my ex. Ended up stalking me.

Got with my current girlfriend and we're happy. We really are.

I just wish that these fucking urges would disappear. I don't want them any more. They're getting in the way of me being happy now. My cat attacked my hand. It kills. Its stinging. I reminds me off the feeling. Which is making me want to do it even more. Guess that's why I'm back here. Try and help someone else and take my mind off it at the same time. Guess that's kind of selfish...

But, how's everyone been?

[sarah newman]

Okay, I Know The Feeling.
You Gotta Take Your Mind Off It By Doing A Hobby You Like, For Example Playing Music, Watching A DVD, Or Exercise Is The Best Way To Get your Mind Off Cutting.
Having Your Cat Attack You Is Very Understandable As To Why It Is Soo Triggering, But You Have Got To Stay Strong And Get Past The Triggering Stage. Unfortunately Self Harm Will Be A Part Of Your Life Whether You Like It Or Not, But You Can Do Things To Stop The Urge. Maybe Go To A Group Of Self Harmers, That Can Help People, Or Get A Counsellor, See A Doctor, Do Anything To Get Past This.
You Can Also Tell Yourself That Your Family, Friends And Most Of All Your Girlfriend Would Not Like To See You Like This, So Try And Stop For There Sake. Or You Could Confide In Them And Ask For Advice On How To Get Past This.
And As For Helping Others, They Call This "Giving People Advice But Not Following It Yourself" In My Opinion, I Would Give People Advice When You Have Got Past The Urge. I Know It Seems To Help You By Helping Others, Believe Me I Have Been There, But In The End You Feel As If You Have To Tackle Get Over It Yourself Whilst Helping Others And Then That Can Get You Stressed And You Could End Up Cutting Again And Then Your Back To Square One. So It's Up To You But I Would Concentrate On Getting Your Life Back On Track Before Helping Others.
As Your Aware, We Can All Give You Advice, But It's Up To You Whether You Take It Or Not And Whether You Do Something About It. Pm Me Anytime, Good Luck With What You Decide.

[Forest Rose]

I'm sorry that you're going through so much and that it was so horrible having your parents finding out, how did they react exactly? It sounds like it's good that you've split up with your ex now though, if they're the kind of person to stalk you and you're happy with somebody else.

I'm sorry that your cat attacked your hand :( They're generally such lovely creatures but so fierce sometimes!

I do understand what you mean about the urges though. Sometimes it can feel like you can't get past this by yourself, have you thought about talking to anybody for help? You could go to your gp and they could reffer you on, or you could go to a counsellor or school nurse. Since your parents know know you could always try speaking/writing to them about it saying you feel that you need help to stop.

Or you could try and look at some of these alternatives from the serious project:

Angry, frustrated, restless
Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:

•Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.
•Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.
•Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
•Hit a punching bag.
•Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
•Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
•On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
•Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.
•Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
•Break sticks.
I've found that these things work even better if I rant at the thing I am cutting/tearing/hitting. I start out slowly, explaining why I am hurt and angry, but sometimes end up swearing and crying and yelling. It helps a lot to vent like that.

Crank up the music and dance.

Clean your room (or your whole house).

Go for a walk/jog/run.

Stomp around in heavy shoes.

Play handball or tennis.

Sad, soft, melancholy, depressed, unhappy
Do something slow and soothing, like taking a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles, curling up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book, babying yourself somehow. Do whatever makes you feel taken care of and comforted. Light sweet-smelling incense. Listen to soothing music. Smooth nice body lotion into the parts or yourself you want to hurt. Call a friend and just talk about things that you like. Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read. Visit a friend.

Numb, unreal, craving sensation/pain, dissociating
Do something that creates a sharp physical sensation:

•Squeeze ice hard (this really hurts). (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would.)
•Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.
•Rub liniment under your nose.
•Slap a tabletop hard.
•Snap your wrist with a rubber band.
•Take a cold bath.
•Stomp your feet on the ground.
•Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.
Note: Some people report that being online while dissociating increases their sense of unreality; be cautious about logging on in a dissociative state until you know how it affects you.

Wanting focus
Do a task (a computer game like tetris or minesweeper, writing a computer program, needlework, etc) that is exacting and requires focus and concentration.

Eat a raisin mindfully. Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a raisin smell? Notice that you're beginning to salivate, and see how that feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.

Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc.

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it.

Pick a subject and research it on the web.

Wanting to see blood, scars, or pick scabs
Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen.

Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.

Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.

Wanting the familiar ritual of SI
Go through your "ritual" doing everything but self-injuring. This means that you go through the motions of preparing to SI, you unpack your tools, your bandages, you get the right music, or whatever it is you find yourself doing while you hurt yourself, and then, at the moment when you would normally start self-injuring, you pack it all away. You can do this again and again until the urge leaves you. (From FirstSigns: "Everything But" Rule.)

Some people also find it helpful to bandage themselves as if they'd self-injured.

Or try distractions or talking to somebody. Sorry this is so long, I suppose I got kind of carried away :P How are you now, anyway?

[Fiction]

If you carry on those urges will go eventually. I know it seems like a long time, but it'll be worth it in the end right? I know it's tempting to cut in the mean time but doing that will only temporarily get rid of the urges, and only make them worse next time.

I'd reccommend throwing out any blades you have, that way you're less likely to get tempted, and even if you do you can't cut. It's not nice to not be able to cut when you want to, but worth it in the end.

If you're struggling maybe now your parents know you could get some kind of help? Perhaps go and see your GP or something and get some counselling?