just had the belt, worst thing ever!

[jacknort]

Im 13 and im kinda clever I get good grades and stuff. i just sometimes get in trouble for playing around but that's it! My mom and dad are real strict with brothers and me but are usually good to me because Im the oldest, like I'm supposed to be an example they say.

My brothers get spanked for stuff like I used to but they havent to me for over like a year but always tell me I can still get a belt when I do bad stuff, I got in a fight with my bro cus he stole my DS and then broke it I was sooo angry! I pushed him and he hit his head on the floor and was crying for like an hour! I didn't mean to do that bad and I said sorry and my mom and dad didnt say much to me they were just seein bro was ok so I was like ooh they believe me. Then like ages later my dad said hel tan my legs for that! And he said it so calm it was wierd, my legs feel like there burning and it was like a day ago! It is alot more horrible than I thought! bare legs and a big belt like 15 times. My mom even said they look sore and hugged me but she was the one who asked dad to get the belt! i dunno what I should think of mom and dad now

[Pancakes]

Man I would tell a counsler.

[sarah newman]

You don't deserve that!
No one deserves that at 13, I'm so sorry you had to experience that!

In my opinion.. I would tell someone, fast. A parent has no eight to knock there children around, fair enough, a smack at a young age fine, but the belt at 13? That's a no go zone. I would also go to a pharmacy or the doctors to ask what they have go to ease the burning pain.

But on your side, I know that you won't wanna grass up your parents, but I'm afraid, for your safety, you might have to. You could anonymously call the police, or ring childlike for advice, or tell a relative/ friend you trust for advice if you don't feel ready to call people like the police yet.

But I really consider you to do something like that.

Do you have counselling already? Or do you confide in someone in particular? If you do, maybe tell them.

Just remember, you did not deserve that. No one deserves that. Pm me if you need anything at all, good luck with whatever you decide :) x

[Syvelocin]

I'm going to say the opposite of what the others have said: I'm afraid you're going to have to get over it.

You obviously did something to deserve it by your post. You can't complain about it then. Even if you think it wasn't deserved, they obviously had reasoning behind. Next time, you should just not act out, then you won't get the belt. Even if it was your brother that did something bad, YOU are the eldest. You'll have to get used to that. "Everything is your fault because you know better." That's how parents think. Learn to outsmart them, and don't even get into the fight, just walk away.

It isn't abuse. It's discipline. Far from abuse. Nowadays, it's as if we've gone too soft on our youth. My stepdad got the belt all the time when he misbehaved. It was a more common practice. It might not be fun, you might not like it, but some parents still believe in physical discipline, and until you leave the house (I don't know where you live though, the law about this stuff varies from place to place) you'll have to deal with getting punished, or be good and never get the belt again. Operators on those lines won't take you seriously, because, like I said, it isn't abuse. Now, if your parents just decide to really beat the shit out of you for no reason at all, or excessively bad beatings, that's a concern.

[Goric]

No-one should deserve being hit, even if it is your parents. Where do you live? Because in many countries it's against the law (child abuse) if your parents hit you and you have proof.

[TrAnSMaN09]

I'm going to say the opposite of what the others have said: I'm afraid you're going to have to get over it.

You obviously did something to deserve it by your post. You can't complain about it then. Even if you think it wasn't deserved, they obviously had reasoning behind. Next time, you should just not act out, then you won't get the belt. Even if it was your brother that did something bad, YOU are the eldest. You'll have to get used to that. "Everything is your fault because you know better." That's how parents think. Learn to outsmart them, and don't even get into the fight, just walk away.

It isn't abuse. It's discipline. Far from abuse. Nowadays, it's as if we've gone too soft on our youth. My stepdad got the belt all the time when he misbehaved. It was a more common practice. It might not be fun, you might not like it, but some parents still believe in physical discipline, and until you leave the house (I don't know where you live though, the law about this stuff varies from place to place) you'll have to deal with getting punished, or be good and never get the belt again. Operators on those lines won't take you seriously, because, like I said, it isn't abuse. Now, if your parents just decide to really beat the shit out of you for no reason at all, or excessively bad beatings, that's a concern.



What are you sayin? You NEVER deserve abuse! and yes this is abuse, maybe you should think about what you say, before you say it

[Sogeking]

No-one should deserve being hit, even if it is your parents. Wait, what? So the parents getting hit? Where do you live? Because in many countries it's against the law (child abuse) if your parents hit you and you have proof. But it isn't abuse, it's dicipline, and he doesn't have proof. And the countries that have this legal far outnumber the ones that doesn't

[Magenta]

As you said, it was only once after a long time. This is discipline. As a child, I was spanked for misbehaving badly. I considered myself lucky not to get the wooden spoon or belt like my mum did when she was a child. Parents are allowed to discipline their children this way. It is not abuse and it is legal unless excessive.

This is going to sound harsh but children today have learned that of they scream "Child abuse!" to the nearest authority, they can get out of being seriously punished. I've met a lot of people that simply do not know how to act because they threatened their parents with calling Child Services. You know what that got me when I tried it? Another spanking because I was being highly rude and disrespectful. These spankings were rare and I knew when I deserved them.

While I don't doubt that this was not pleasant for you, you should not have hit your brother. Hitting his head on the floor could have been dangerous and I think that was your parents' main concern, not your broken DS.

However, I hope you are alright, understand and will try to be the bigger person next time.

What are you sayin? You NEVER deserve abuse! and yes this is abuse, maybe you should think about what you say, before you say it

Relax. As Rith and I both said, it is legal and any amount of research can prove this. What you'll find, however, if you search it are a lot of kids who have never seen discipline before and claim it's child abuse simply because they don't want to take responsibility for their own actions and can shift the blame and attention to their parents. I know this because I did the same thing when I was older because I thought I was smarter and knew the law better than my parents, one of which is a police officer no less. I was wrong.

[MadManWithaBox]

There's a line between abuse and discipline, and that sounds like discipline. Unless he was beating you for the hell of it, or to an extent where there were marks, it's discipline. Not illegal.

[Taylorxbox]

I'm going to say the opposite of what the others have said: I'm afraid you're going to have to get over it.

You obviously did something to deserve it by your post. You can't complain about it then. Even if you think it wasn't deserved, they obviously had reasoning behind. Next time, you should just not act out, then you won't get the belt. Even if it was your brother that did something bad, YOU are the eldest. You'll have to get used to that. "Everything is your fault because you know better." That's how parents think. Learn to outsmart them, and don't even get into the fight, just walk away.

It isn't abuse. It's discipline. Far from abuse. Nowadays, it's as if we've gone too soft on our youth. My stepdad got the belt all the time when he misbehaved. It was a more common practice. It might not be fun, you might not like it, but some parents still believe in physical discipline, and until you leave the house (I don't know where you live though, the law about this stuff varies from place to place) you'll have to deal with getting punished, or be good and never get the belt again. Operators on those lines won't take you seriously, because, like I said, it isn't abuse. Now, if your parents just decide to really beat the shit out of you for no reason at all, or excessively bad beatings, that's a concern.

Agreed. People now dont know the difference from dicipline and abuse. Now, if he does it for no reason, that could be an issue. BUT, you did something wrong. Child Abuse is more of just hitting your kid for no reason and then doing it all the time in my mind.

[TrAnSMaN09]

There's a line between abuse and discipline, and that sounds like discipline. Unless he was beating you for the hell of it, or to an extent where there were marks, it's discipline. Not illegal.
the part in bold. by the ops post it seems to me that there are ALOT of marks. and no Parents are not allowed to use a belt. they can use hands or any body part and even then more then 5 is a bit much.

[MadManWithaBox]

That's hardly a iron reason. Discipline is discipline. I was beaten so many times, I couldn't tell the difference, I never did anything wrong. Discipline is discipline, the OP needs to tell the difference.

[TrAnSMaN09]

but marks on your body because of it is a bit harsh.

[MadManWithaBox]

Not nessacarily. I mean, marks are marks.

[TrAnSMaN09]

marks are personal. if it prevents him from walking properly due to pain then its bad. what does he say if people question bruises and shit.

[James xX]

I'm going to say the opposite of what the others have said: I'm afraid you're going to have to get over it.

You obviously did something to deserve it by your post. You can't complain about it then. Even if you think it wasn't deserved, they obviously had reasoning behind. Next time, you should just not act out, then you won't get the belt. Even if it was your brother that did something bad, YOU are the eldest. You'll have to get used to that. "Everything is your fault because you know better." That's how parents think. Learn to outsmart them, and don't even get into the fight, just walk away.

It isn't abuse. It's discipline. Far from abuse. Nowadays, it's as if we've gone too soft on our youth. My stepdad got the belt all the time when he misbehaved. It was a more common practice. It might not be fun, you might not like it, but some parents still believe in physical discipline, and until you leave the house (I don't know where you live though, the law about this stuff varies from place to place) you'll have to deal with getting punished, or be good and never get the belt again. Operators on those lines won't take you seriously, because, like I said, it isn't abuse. Now, if your parents just decide to really beat the shit out of you for no reason at all, or excessively bad beatings, that's a concern.


Me thinks your living in the 1940s... :yes:

[Magenta]

The best I can say is that if you want to tell someone, tell someone. Tell us exactly what you posted here and I can almost guarantee that no one will listen because they will agree it is not abuse.

[Magus]

I would tell teh police. You are not an income machine for your parents, you are individual like them, and you don't deserve that kind of punishment no matter what!

Actually using physical means is abuse all the way -- an extreme one at that.

My parents never beat me, they thought that beating me will only make me worse, rebel even more. Fact.

Beating will not make anyone disciplined. Tell your teacher, or someone you can trust, a part of the family, anyone.

Don't give them the chance, they do it once, they will do it again.

[jacknort]

Thanks guys for your advice I spoke to my scho friend about it and he said there's not mch for me to do because here it's still ok , I live in usa. I spoke to my dad today ad he was kinda ok with me he said giving me the belt is the last thing he wants to do but he had no choice:/. He said he wouldn't do it when he's still angry though like when I got my belting he was not angry with me I dont think he even hugged me after it was done and was like get some clothes on and calm down your done. was wierd but I kinda got him if that makes any sense atall...

[Dimitri]

Thanks guys for your advice I spoke to my scho friend about it and he said there's not mch for me to do because here it's still ok , I live in usa. I spoke to my dad today ad he was kinda ok with me he said giving me the belt is the last thing he wants to do but he had no choice:/. He said he wouldn't do it when he's still angry though like when I got my belting he was not angry with me I dont think he even hugged me after it was done and was like get some clothes on and calm down your done. was wierd but I kinda got him if that makes any sense atall...
Hey man, I got the belt my whole life and I wanted to let you know that if you need to talk to someone you can talk to me. I do have to agree that this was an act of parenting and that it is justified and I am telling you know that you will thank your parents for it in the end, I know I am.

[jacknort]

hey thanks dude! its cool talking to people who know what it's like! it was scary I thought! even like getting ready for it I was nearly crying I'm soft:/ lol. But all the stuff at the start pants off then havin to have legs in some way it just freaked me out! First time and I hope never again!

[Dimitri]

All I learned was to keep your head down and ears and eyes open. Anything else? Lemme know.

[jacknort]

Just dont get why I got the belt on the legs when I was spanked when I was younger it was just butt

[Dimitri]

Greater actions result in great consequences?

[jacknort]

Legs+belt=sucks!

[Dimitri]

It doesn't suck, IT BLOWS!!!! Maa hahahaha

[jacknort]

still sucks! I got a swimming competition on Friday people will notice i will look so stupid!

[Dimitri]

It's a double whammy. Peer pressure plus the belt equals ouch.

[jacknort]

ur right! ur like me lol! pm me dude!

[Syvelocin]

It might suck, but I have to say, think about, what would it be like to actually be abused. And you should be thankful that it's a belt, and not, oh, a knife for instance, which I've had used on me before. The mark from the belt will go away. I have a huge scar on my chest that won't. You're lucky they don't get drunk every night and proceed to beat you. But I can't imagine this argument I'm presenting does much if you've never experienced true abuse. Physical abuse is defined to put you at risk, and the belt might not be fun, but no serious damage will be done in the long-run. Hopefully, it'll only benefit you, as discipline is designed to.

Me thinks your living in the 1940s... :yes:

More like I'm conscious of them. Kids seem to now think that "parents don't do that any more" or "it's illegal now" but none of that is true. I'm saying that a lot of our parents got beaten, just like their parents got beaten, so why is it suddenly child abuse instead of discipline now that we're in the 2000s? Just because they're older thoughts, does not mean I live "in the 1940s" o.O I'm very much a 90s kid. And I don't think the 40's would fit me too well... maybe the 60s, at least, I could bear? :P

Getting hit because you did something wrong = discipline.
Okay, so, if you're in the US, if it leaves marks, it is STILL discipline. Can't do anything there.
If you live in Britain, unless it leaves a (lasting) mark, it is still legal, so it = discipline.
There are still a bunch of European countries, however, where it is fully illegal, but I haven't heard about where you live so I can't really say anything for sure here.

The last part is more for most of the members replying the thread, not you, as you seem to recognize this more. :P

[Hershey's Kisses]

People nowadays are way too soft ! Its discipline , not abuse . If your psrents are hostile to you and beat you for no reason , thad abuse . I used to mouth off and my dad would belt me. I had no scars or anything . Sometimes my mom still occasionally for being rude . There are terrible cases of abuse . Just because you got beat once with a belt doesn't mean your parents are abusing you . Who will take you seriously ? There are awful stories of abuse , and this isn't one of them . Its discipline . You won't die . You won't even be hurt . Now if we even lay and hand on a kid , it's flag as abuse . But honestly it's not .

[SosbanFach]

Laws vary massively throughout the world on this! I hadn't known that in 20 US States beatings in school are legal. In the UK that has been illegal for over a decade. Whilst possibly slightly biased, given where I live, I think that UK law seems a good compromise between the 'not at all' law that many European countries have on corporal punishment, and the lack of restrictions in the aforementioned US states. UK law states that no mark may be left on a child's body (Except in Scotland, where only the bare hand may be used, no belt etc).

Here's some reading! See if you notice a pattern involving the number 17!
http://www.childrenareunbeatable.org.uk/pages/info.html

[SosbanFach]

It's not illegal in the UK or US, see above. Anyone know anything about the 'nanny state' thing, could build a reply on that idea.

[Belton21]

I'm going to say the opposite of what the others have said: I'm afraid you're going to have to get over it.

You obviously did something to deserve it by your post. You can't complain about it then. Even if you think it wasn't deserved, they obviously had reasoning behind. Next time, you should just not act out, then you won't get the belt. Even if it was your brother that did something bad, YOU are the eldest. You'll have to get used to that. "Everything is your fault because you know better." That's how parents think. Learn to outsmart them, and don't even get into the fight, just walk away.

It isn't abuse. It's discipline. Far from abuse. Nowadays, it's as if we've gone too soft on our youth. My stepdad got the belt all the time when he misbehaved. It was a more common practice. It might not be fun, you might not like it, but some parents still believe in physical discipline, and until you leave the house (I don't know where you live though, the law about this stuff varies from place to place) you'll have to deal with getting punished, or be
good and never get the belt again. Operators on those lines won't take you
seriously, because, like I said, it isn't abuse. Now, if your parents just decide
to really beat the shit out of you for no reason at all, or excessively bad
beatings, that's a concern.

I totally agree!! My parents get out the belt on me all the time...hey you do something bad or wrong there's always consequences....

[Hershey's Kisses]

:yes:I totally agree!! My parents get out the belt on me all the time...hey you do something bad or wrong there's always consequences....

agree 1,000 percent. I was belted fror disrespect from age 7. I'm now 13. I did not enjoy it, but i didn't consider it "ABUSE". No one will be arrested for hitting aa kid once with a belt. It's not a crime. People are so ignorant. Your parents only discipline you because they love hyou. If the take out a belt or other objects to hurt yoiu for no rEason even if you didn't misbehave , then tell someone/. But if you know you did something wrong and your parent slaps you or hits you with a belt, accept it and learn not to repeat the behavior. Stop being the little kid that shouted abuse. Stop shouting abuse when you don't know what it is. My mom lovrs me, but she slapped me plently of times for neing rude. I didn't habe to be hospitalized, and i apologized and she forgave me. No it's not enjoyable. You learn from your mistakes. Pleasee someone learn the difference between abuse and discipline and stop making uneducated comments.

Abuse: repeated and severe harming of child, whether sexually, physically or verbally.

Please don't double post. There's an edit button for a reason. ~Sogeking

[MadManWithaBox]

Go to someone if you want. But it's guaranteed, they'll know it's not abuse. They might have a word with your parents, but that's it.

[JeydonGT]

That is a bit too far

[Grayeyes]

No-one should deserve being hit, even if it is your parents. Where do you live? Because in many countries it's against the law (child abuse) if your parents hit you and you have proof.

That's not really child abuse. What his parents did to him was discipline.
A parent has a right to discipline their child.
It only becomes child abuse (and punishable by law) if the kid did nothing wrong are the parents hit him intentionally.

My parents used to spank me before when I did something bad. But they never really hit me hard enough for it to hurt though. Just to show me not to do it again. And correct it.

However...I do think hitting you 15 times was too much. Once, twice or maybe even thrice is enough. 15 is too much for discipline... (in my opinion)
But I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt you much... Your mom did hug you after, so i guess she felt bad for it.

You should talk to your mom or someone else that's not biased to either of you about you not being comfortable with this...

[kyle95]

First mate, know your rights. They are obligated to provide you with the necessities of life, access to education and protection from harm. They have crossed the line. The morgues are full of abuse cases. I would mention this to a trusted teacher. If it continues, high tail it to the Police. They have no right to physically harm you. Take a pic of your bruises and show it to your teacher and Police. I think they're getting out of hand and like you say, it's very creepy to coldly do that to you just when you expected the worse to be over. Don't be conditioned into accepting abuse - kids have rights and parents can be charged for abuse. If the option is always there to strike you, hugs or no hugs, I'd want out of that family - they've got serious anger issues they need treatment for.

[Magenta]

First mate, know your rights. They are obligated to provide you with the necessities of life, access to education and protection from harm. They have crossed the line. The morgues are full of abuse cases. I would mention this to a trusted teacher. If it continues, high tail it to the Police. They have no right to physically harm you. Take a pic of your bruises and show it to your teacher and Police. I think they're getting out of hand and like you say, it's very creepy to coldly do that to you just when you expected the worse to be over. Don't be conditioned into accepting abuse - kids have rights and parents can be charged for abuse. If the option is always there to strike you, hugs or no hugs, I'd want out of that family - they've got serious anger issues they need treatment for.

Kids have rights but those rights can be taken away. He could have seriously hurt his brother. That is a time when punishment is necessary. No parent needs treatment for "anger issues" for discipline. If they did, at least 80% of parents would. They did it ONCE in the time span of a year. How is that out of hand? My mum would spank me for being mouthy let alone physical violence dozens of times. This guy deserved it as much as I did.

The police won't do anything, I can guarantee it. And if they do make the mistake to label this abuse, does the OP really want to go through a family investigation, have the possibility of being placed in a foster system where no one cares, seriously hurt his parents, just because he didn't like that his parents care enough to actually punish him rather than just ignoring his existence like some parents do, or beating him to a pulp which actually is abuse? I'm sorry if it's harsh but that's life.

[Hershey's Kisses]

how many times do I have to say it ? It's not abuse . Do you honestly think the cops are going arrest his parents for hitting him once with a belt ? You need to learn what abuse is because your calling anything but patting your kid on the head abuse. Obviously your parents have never taught you right from wrong . Do you think it would be fair to take him out of the family even if he's not abused??

[Quick_Sylver]

Right.

There's abuse, then there's discipline.
This was discipline. I am not a supporter of corporeal punishment.

You counted how many smacks with the belt there were? Were there imprints of the belt on your legs? Did you bleed from them? If not, its not abuse.

In my opinion, you deserved it a 110%. YOU abused your little brother, so you got punished. Suck it up cupcake.

[Sith Lord 13]

There's abuse, then there's discipline.
This was discipline. I am not a supporter of corporeal punishment.

This. When there starts being blood drawn, or it's happening multiple times a day for no reason, then it might be abuse, but at this point it's still discipline.

[jacknort]

Hey guys, thanks for your help. Like after i got the belt you could see really red marks across my legs but theve gone now. What sucked was getting like all the front of my legs hit which is bad then my dad was like I want to have a look at the back! bare butt is better than bare legs for sure

[ItStOuGhEnOuGh4Us]

I know this is difficult for you to hear, however it is not beating! You were disciplined. I agree with many of the posts here. There is a HUGE difference between the two. Today many kids our age want to think that discipline is Abuse! Why> Well because we cant fathom the thought of getting disciplined, or having a belt used on us. Well I guess I am in the minority, because I feel it more parents disciplined their children, then perhaps teenage crimes, and bad behavior and disrespect wouldn't be so bad! Too many people won't take responsibility for their actions.

[LifeisLife]

I dont find this dicipline. If this would happen to me, I would go to the police with this, tell school or find help from a councelor or shrink.

[northskater110]

Their actions weren't justifiable. I would talk to someone at your school about it, and they will take it from there. Chin up man, it will get better.

[Hershey's Kisses]

I know this is difficult for you to hear, however it is not beating! You were disciplined. I agree with many of the posts here. There is a HUGE difference between the two. Today many kids our age want to think that discipline is Abuse! Why> Well because we cant fathom the thought of getting disciplined, or having a belt used on us. Well I guess I am in the minority, because I feel it more parents disciplined their children, then perhaps teenage crimes, and bad behavior and disrespect wouldn't be so bad! Too many people won't take responsibility for their actions.

I agree with you completely !9

[joeyjorulz]

I also agree with you Kara.

To the boy concerned...
Take the punishment from your parents. They love you and are doing what they
consider to be the best.

[houdeka]

Quit crying. I used to get a punishment where I had to walk outside and clip a branch off a tree that would be used to swat my butt. If it was too small you'd get twice the punishment and my father would walk outside and get one himself. You didn't want my dad to have to get a branch himself.

[curiouse97]

somtimes you need to stop and think. what would you have done if your bro wold have gotten sever head enjery from that. he could be in a coma. your lucky. a few swats and a day or so of pain is a small price to pay.bet next time you will thinkl about it right?