Why I dont allow myself

[LifeisLife]

Even little things tear me up and at school I have the feeling to just sneak into the school kitchen, grab a knife and cut, but obviously I cant. I have to cry during over half the day but cant because if I do then teachers will tell the principle, who will tell my mentor, who will tell my parents, which I REALLY dont want. Then I would have to tell everybody everything, which I also dont want so I dont allow myself to show any emotions except hapiness.

[MadManWithaBox]

That's really not healthy. You need to let all your emotions out, good and bad.

[anonymous53]

If you need to cry, cry. Excuse yourself to the bathroom and cry.

[dreamer18xx]

ya ik what you mean i felt similar to this were i would always try and smile when i wasnt happy and i'd get upset over the weirdest things too like someone would start talking to me then i would get sad and teary eyed for no apparent reason it was really annoying not to mention embarassing >.< but i think its b/c you bottle up to much of what you feel inside like you cant always put on a mask and pretend to be happy all the time when your obviously not happy b/c thats not good and all that bottled up emotion kinda just eventually explodes which explains why your crying allot so what you need :/.....is a pillow *hands fluffy pillow* and you need to punch it or scream into it to get out all that bottled up feeling out of your system lol jk i mean that works but you prob dont want to do that but anyways you really should show more of what ur feeling its not good if you keep it all inside u.u you could always try writing in a diary or try to talk to someone you trust about what your feeling just to get it off your chest

[Love.Hate]

You need to get your emotions out by the sound of it, is there anyone you could talk to?

[Magenta]

Not being able to cry is terrible. I know the feeling well. I know I can't cry in public or at school because it will attract attention but I also can't cry at home unless I'm alone. Do you have a friend you could go to? Awhile ago, I spent time at a friend's house and I was so overwhelmed that I just broke down sobbing. I was embarrassed but he was okay with it and just cuddled me until I stopped. Even something like that once in awhile can really make you feel better.

Also, does where you live have a help line you could call every so often so you can talk? It's not a long term therapist but in Canada, we have Kids Help Phone which has been amazing for me when I just wanted someone to listen.

Hope this could help. I'm always here if you need to talk. :hug:

[Fiction]

Crying is better than cutting, both are releases for your emotions. As others have said go and find somewhere private to cry, such as the bathroom. If you need to cry, cry, just find somewhere to do it.

[Forest Rose]

It sounds like you're struggling a lot, remember it's important to release your emotions and crying is definitely better than self-harming- there are no scars, no damage done to your body, it's not as addictive and doesn't hurt the others around you so much. If you're struggling a lot though, is there anybody you could talk to? It sounds like you're struggling with these things all day long and it might help you having somebody to talk to. Could you try talking to a friend or family member or school nurse?

[LifeisLife]

I do have somebody to talk to but sadly there's no number you can call in Holland where they listen and all of that. Especially not for underaged kids. I dont feel much anymore. I think my emotions have gone numb from my suppressing of them because even when I try to be happy I just cant be. I haven't self-harmed in about a week now, which I'm pretty happy about. (: I have come to talk to some people and asked them for advice for distractions, now I watch movies regularly, do poetry and other arts (photography and drawing) and there's another friend who I'm going to probably meet up with the next time I have the urge again (: Especially the last friend I told helped me a lot because they're at my school and wants to meet up all the time and gave me advice like going for a run or just keeping busy and never being alone...

But also because of the suppressing of my feelings I literally CAN NOT cry. I am sad but never happy but I never cry.
Please do not double post, use the edit button- Fiction

[georgiamay]

I know what it's like to literally be unable to cry, and it's horrible. I know that I need to get it out, but I can't, so I'll hurt myself instead.

After the last month or so I've found that every now and then, I'll cry myself to sleep pretty hysterically, or I'll have to sneak off to the toilets to let a few tears out, whereas before I just couldn't. Crying isn't exactly fun, but it's a whole lot better than cutting.

I've started crying again after I've been in therapy for a while. Now that I can talk to someone every now and then, it's somehow helped me learn to express my emotions instead of turning them inwards.

Maybe if you spoke to someone about how you feel? It doesn't need to be an official thing, but maybe you could call a friend and just rant to them or something.

[LifeisLife]

Maybe if you spoke to someone about how you feel? It doesn't need to be an official thing, but maybe you could call a friend and just rant to them or something. --- I do talk to a few people about it but it's still hard...

I know what it's like to literally be unable to cry, and it's horrible. I know that I need to get it out, but I can't, so I'll hurt myself instead. ---- That's exactly how I feel most of the time.