Living with my boyfriend??

[love_linds]

my boyfriend is in the army. we have been dating for almost three years. hes in afghanistan, and will be there for a year. i just turned 17 on friday. he is 19.
he is stationed in Colorado and i live in california. When he gets back the only way we can physically be together is if we get married. but i have my worries. i will just be 18, we would have a court marriage (i want our first one to be the whole big classic wedding), it will just be me and him, no family.
I want to be with him for the rest of my life but marriages these days just dont work, which scares me to death.
i just dont know what to do.
here are my options.
-get married, live on base.
-get married, live off base.
-split up......(WHICH I DONT WANT TO DO!)
-me move to colorado but get my own place, while he lives on base. but dont get married.

its really confusing, we can only be married and live together. so if we dont get married we cant really be together. because i dont want to have a long distance relationship longer then i already have. which so far has been 1 year.

If anyone can give me their opinion on this and what i should do, that would be great!! Thank you!
But please dont tell me to just end it, because that is the absolute last thing i want to do.

[kittylou]

Unfortunately that is something that you need to decide based on your relationship. If you are having doubts I suggest however not getting married until you are sure - it is a big comittment. Have you talked to him about it? What does he want to do?

[Sage]

No offense, but I really see it as a waste of life to get married at eighteen. Don't you have anything else to look forward to besides this relationship?

[love_linds]

Unfortunately that is something that you need to decide based on your relationship. If you are having doubts I suggest however not getting married until you are sure - it is a big comittment. Have you talked to him about it? What does he want to do?

yea, i have. he understands but he wants to get married right when he gets back. And thats the thing, i wanted to live with him a little bit before we did so i knew 100% but we cant live together unless we are married..
But i do know that i want to spend the rest of my life with him.

No offense, but I really see it as a waste of life to get married at eighteen. Don't you have anything else to look forward to besides this relationship?

none taken. a lot of people do. i hear it all the time. but that is usually based on other peoples personal experiences. I guess if i really thought about it, there could be. but i planned my life with him in it.
I understand that a lot of people on this site are against marriage but i am not. especially because i feel like i have found that amazing someone that i want to be with for the rest of my life.

[Ambrosia]

I attended my senior prom in early May and a girl, whom just turned 17, attended with her boyfriend who is in the airforce. This girl is a junior(Now a senior, since school is out), and he proposed to her in front of the entire school. They plan on getting married some time next year so she can live on base with him.

To be honest, you have to sit yourself down and think about it. Maybe even go talk to one of your parents about this, some of your friends. I know this decision is all in your own but sometimes some help from loved ones that aren't your boyfriend can help. Getting married at 18 rarely works out, that's true. Most marriages before age 24 fail and end up in divorce. Many of those marriages happened because someone got pregnant, though. In my opinion, I would move to Colorado and just live near the base. But if you truely love him, then you two will work out. Since he'll be working so often, maybe you won't see him enough to realize he annoys you!

[ajp1993]

Marrying early doesnt seem like 'a waste of life' :/ Everyone is different.
This really is a decision only the two of you can make. Take the time to talk to each other, to your friends and your parents. Marriage is a big thing to do, dont do it just because. You move away from home and follow him around with the army you'll be leaving your family and friends, and the support they can offer, behind.
When does your bf finish his minimum service and would he consider leaving and going back to civilian life with you instead?

[love_linds]

Omg, believe me, I have thought about everything. I havnt really talked to anyone else about it though. But since I'm visiting my dad this summer I'm going to see what he thinks about everything. Matthew told me he is going to get out after his four years, which is up in 3 years. I told him we can talk about that when the time comes.
Since we were together for 2 years before he enlisted I know he doesn't annoy me. :p we spent every single day together. :)

Thank you guys. You have really helped. :))