Confused..

[Fiction]

I went to the doctor on Friday about my eating disorder and stuff. I didn't lie, I told the whole truth but I feel still strangely like i'm faking. That i'm almost.. disrespecting people with real eating disorders. I've been referred back to counselling and I have to see my doctor again in a few weeks and she seems to think I have a problem but I still feel like such a fake, like it's my fault i'm like this and I almost... don't deserve help. Or don't need it. It's confusing me.

It's making me feel like I have to prove myself. Obviously my parents know now and it's like I have to prove to them there's something wrong, by eating less. I'm scared they won't believe me... even though they already do. It's making me eat less, and it's making me feel worse about eating. Like when I eat not only am I going to put on weight but I feel like a liar and a fake. At the same time i'm trying not to make my mum make me eat, or shout at me. I'm still used to hiding it I guess. Still used to eating in front of her but it's getting to the point where I can't do that. It's messing me up more than it ever was before and it really feels now like there's no way it's ever going to go away.

I guess that was a bit of a rant, no real question just has anyone else ever felt like this I guess? Or is this not normal and am I really faking? :/

[ShatteredWings]

Just because youre not on the brink of death doesn't mean it's not "real".

Ive mostly been medicaly overweight, but my eating issues can still be a major problem.
You need to get healthy, and honestly the only real way to go about it is to try to let the counceling help.

[Magenta]

I know what you mean, Kathy. Last night, I was talking to a friend and he asked me what was bothering me. I told him a list of things and in the middle I said "my eating disorder". He asked me what eating disorder, as this was the first he had heard of it. I felt like it couldn't be an eating disorder because no one noticed. I mean, I don't fit the criteria for anorexia or bulimia fully so it must be fake, right?

Like Kyle said, you don't need to be lying in a hospital bed being fed through a tube for it to be real. It took me a long time to accept I have an eating disorder even if there's no specific name for it. You're not a fake or a liar and if this isn't "real" to you, I'm sort of glad you're getting help now before it does get "real", if that makes sense.