Still feeling it...

[kevin]

I still feel so much hatred with myself and my life has considerably gotten greater and better. I absolutly think I'm a dirt bag and that I'm a failiure, but whenever I do something good, it doesn't make a difference to me. The only way I'll know if I did something good is if people tell me. I really just want this to end, it's always just lingering there, in the back of my head. That feeling, the feeling that you just don't want to have. It's not physical, definetly mental... But there's nothing in my power that can get rid of it. I seriously, positivly, hate my life when I know I shouldn't. I have no bad parts to my life, why do I feel this way? I honestly don't know.

[ScotsGirl]

:hug:
Aww, Kevin im so sorry :( but i just want to say you're a great person, i mean just the other day you were the one encourageing me when i was worried about my presentation, i cant describe how much that means to me....You're extremely funny, ive lost count of the amount of times ive cracked up in front of my computer screen after things that you say :D seriously, ppl are beginning to wonder about me :wink: ....

But please dont feel bad that you feel this way, its not your fault so try to keep from questioning and blaming yourself. You may not think there are bad parts in your life right now, but what about in the past? Has anyone made you doubt yourself or you achievements in any way? It sounds as if you are unable to believe in yourself and give yourself praise, i mean, when you think you've done something good, you quickly start to bring yourself down and without anyone else stepping in and confirming what you first thought, you just get even lower and lower. I know this is much easier said than done but you have to try to find a way do you can start to believe in yourself as well as believing yourself, if that makes sense? :?
Can i ask how long you've been feeling like this cos it may be an idea to get some professional help....Have you tried talking to anyone about this? Maybe a family member or a close friend? I know how difficult that can be but it can help so much....
Im so sorry that you're feeling like this and i wish there was more i could do. You know im always here if you want to talk...

You're the best

Lynne
:) xxx

[kevin]

Thanks lynne :hug:

When I started the first version of my website, my sister found out that I was feeling depressed and that I just didn't feel good about myself. But then she talked to me and told my mom. My mom asked me If I wanted to see someone about it. I said "yes" and it's been about six months and nobody to see yet...

[<-Dying_to_Live->]

if you really wanted to see someone, why would you wait six months without reminding them

[kevin]

It's not like it's not hard to go up to someone you know well and say "I still think I'm depressed. Why have you neglected to do anything?". It just makes it sound like I'm lying. For some reason I just can't get enough guts to actually do that. It's like I'd rather have someone find out instead of actually telling them.

[<-Dying_to_Live->]

ok, then you might as well sit on the ground and wait 6 more months for your mom to miraculously remember about something that happened a year ago

[ScotsGirl]

Aww dont worry Kevin you will get through this :wink:
Maybe there is some way of getting them to find out if you don thinnk you can tell them, you could maybe write down on a sheet of paper what you would want your mum to know about how you're feeling and maybe leave it someone she would 'accidently' find it....if that makes sense?.....

I know how difficult it is :( , but its so much better when you can talk to someone and get some proffessional help. Maybe you would feel more comfortable talking to your sister? She seems as if she has your best interests at heart, you said she talked with you when she first found out about how you felt.....is there any way you could talk to her do you think?
Wow, im really sorry that you're feeling like this but remember we're all here for you
:hug:

xxx

[Versailles Mansion]

Hey I know how you feel. But for me its like if I do something good and someone does better then I feel like what I did is just crap. I'd don't like myself at all. I don't know what to do about myself anymore. I'm tired of just living, I want to know that I'm acctually living for something.

[TheWizard]

Wished I could help but I see my shrink often and still find somethings hard to talk about.

Don't think about it just do it so you can get better.