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View Full Version : Who's in the right here?


phish
May 24th, 2011, 11:53 AM
A little background info:

My parents separated when I was 7, my mother stayed in the house and my father moved into an apartment. They never actually divorced, so they're legally married; my mother doesn't work. After my father left, the house steadily deteriorated, there are holes in the wall, missing windows, rotting wood, mold, leaking pipes, etc. It's not a bad house, it's just 7 years worth of repairs. My mother is a complete sucker and thinks all the repairs will cost $75,000(probably a tenth of that) and my father falls into that hole a bit, however he's mainly a procrastinator(the apartment was a temporary place, it's been 7 years) and doesn't care because he doesn't live there. He also blames my mother for "Ruining my investment, the most expensive thing I ever owned."

Fast forward to today, I'm 14 and usually live with my father, I sleep there basically every night and just spend the afternoons at the house after school; my legal residents doesn't reflect that though. I see his place as my main home, but he maintains that I am a guest there even though I'm there probably 95% of the time. This is aided by their proximity as I can easily walk between the residences.

About two weeks ago we got into a big fight and I've been with my mom in the meantime. He took my key and locked me out. I asked for it back, he said no, I then reminded him that I could get one from the landlord. He said he would notify them that I couldn't have one. I told him I'd break in.

I was out of town and upon my return I needed some things from his place, so I went to the apartment offices and demanded a key, they told me I couldn't have one. I then put a brick through the sliding glass door. He says "It's not your right to be here."

And maintains I'll be convicted of breaking and entering(he also maintains that the repair will cost "tens of thousands of dollars")

anonymous53
May 24th, 2011, 12:00 PM
You're both in the wrong. Apologize to him and hope he doesn't continue to press charges.

phish
May 24th, 2011, 12:09 PM
You're both in the wrong. Apologize to him and hope he doesn't continue to press charges.



He's not, he's claiming "You fucking blew it, everything you ever wanted to do. You ruined it. They're going to fucking throw you in juvie and you'll be locked in a little damn cell and there's nothing I can do about it."

Contra
May 24th, 2011, 12:56 PM
I think what your father did was pretty exhaggerated, but you shouldn't have done what you did.
I doubt you'll go to juvie, I mean, it's your father's house, right? You should try and talk some sense into him.

Hairy14uk
May 25th, 2011, 03:12 PM
I think you're almost entirely in the wrong to be honest. Unless there's something huge that you're not telling us... you had a fight, like everyone does, with one of your parents and he kicked you out. Simple as.

You had no right to break into his home.

phish
May 25th, 2011, 04:28 PM
I think you're almost entirely in the wrong to be honest. Unless there's something huge that you're not telling us... you had a fight, like everyone does, with one of your parents and he kicked you out. Simple as.

You had no right to break into his home.

I live there too. He had no right to lock me out.

anonymous53
May 25th, 2011, 10:40 PM
Technically your place of residence is your mother's home.
Also as long as you're of legal age your parents can kick you out at any time.

phish
May 25th, 2011, 11:36 PM
Technically your place of residence is your mother's home.
Also as long as you're of legal age your parents can kick you out at any time.

I'm not of legal age. Technically, they're both my home because they didn't get legally divorced.

Drew7
May 26th, 2011, 12:09 AM
depends on custody. your parents may have a separation agreement.

i don't blame your dad for not maintaining the house, yur mom doesn't work, she has all day to fix it up. Plus he's payin for an apartment and a mortgage.

some of my friends have keys to their parents apartments, when they lose one the apartment staff has to give it to a parent, not a kid. whoever pays the rent is the only person who can get a key. no exceptions in georgia.

throwing a brick, yeah, my dad would have taken the key too and would make me cut lawns or something all summer to pay for it. BTW i cant imagine a sliding glass door costing 10000, but maybe it's custom or something. what do you think?

why doens't your mom work? Maybe you have a bunch of brothers and sisters, so it's not possible, so i guess i shouldn't have said she should work. But, if it's just you and her, what does she do all day? I'd think she'd take care of the house or find a job instead of being at home all day.

sorry abt yur situation and the divorce. i'm one of the few kids who have parents that got married and stayed together. Most of my friends have step moms/dads, some have parents that have been married 3 times and their my age.

Hairy14uk
May 27th, 2011, 01:05 PM
I live there too. He had no right to lock me out.

Well it's his house, so he can kick you out. Regardless of if you live there...

jason_smitty
May 29th, 2011, 11:32 AM
My parents are divorced after a pretty ugly time being married at the end, several years of being separated and there are usually always a lot of hurt feelings and things said that even if they are trying to keep the kids out of it theres some slip ups, been there and its never good.

Don't know your whole story but, you chose to stay with your Dad instead of your Mom for the most part, and it probably didnt have anything to do with the house, I would guess your Dad made a better place for you to stay. Everybody has fights with their parents, you must have done something to get him mad enough to kick you out, you should apologize to him (for the door too) and tell him how your feeling. It seems like your Dad is your home more than your Mom, respect that for your sake, you wouldnt have posted if you were happy to be living with your Mom. Divorced/separated family is tough, theres lots of others on here who went through the same thing, ask around or just wait to see who gives you help from your post here. J