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View Full Version : Hmm someone help me feel positive about this?


CharlotteH95
May 23rd, 2011, 08:21 PM
I'm seeing someone, we're pretty serious and we're together but we're choosing to keep it quiet for a few weeks until we know if this is for certain. He's amazing, everything I've ever wanted but the problem is that I find it hard to trust, my last 2 relationships didn't end well, one spread rumours about me and the other has threatened me, cheated on me with my best mate and is now engaged to her. Another thing is I was abused by my dad so trusting men isn't my strong point to say the least. He's had a chance with me before but friends made him choose between me or him and he chose them :/ he feels like I can't be bothered to put effort in when really it's not that I can't be bothered, it's that I'm scared to. I'm scared to put effort in to this relationship and to have it thrown in my face again just like all the times before. I really really want to be with him and for this to work, as soon as I'm with him I'm instantly happy and I've never had that before. I'm just struggling to make an effort because I'm scared of it fallig apart but I know that if I don't make an effort then I'm just going to push him away.. Help me feel positive about this please? He's ignored me the past couple of days, I don't know if it's because he's waiting for me to make an effort or because he's been busy with exams :/

kittylou
May 23rd, 2011, 09:59 PM
*hug* I can't imagine how hard it must be after your previous bad experiences. Is there any chance you can talk to him about how you are feeling? Let him know that you really want to try and make this relationship work and how much he means to you, but you have had bad experiences in the past and it might take you a bit of time to get used to being in a serious relationship again? Most guys, or at least the ones that really matter, will understand and support that.

Take the time you need to - in time you will be able to trust again and things will get easier.