Self harm dream

[SilenceForSilence]

I had a very vivid dream the other night, where I had already finished self harming, but there were many more cuts than I ever had done before i stopped cutting over a year ago, and I was just sitting there, shirtless, bleeding. I was bleeding so much, I felt that I would soon pass out. Instinctively, I went to the bathroom and filled up the bathtub. Losing my balance, I lowered myself into the tub. Things grew darker, and my whole body hurt so bad. I knew I had just committed myself to ending it, and I felt so content. I blacked out. Then I woke up.

I think I know why I had this dream. My girlfriend I have posted about, who has a sometimes violent and abusive situation at home, and I mutually broke up almost 4 weeks ago. I realized soon after we broke up that I didn't know what to do with myself anymore, as I am a natural councelor, and had no one to counsel. I still have no one to help in person, which is what I am best at, and I can't bear this strange void growing inside. I know now that this void is my depression I pretended not to have when I met my now ex-girlfriend, because she needed someone strong. I have no one else's problems in real life to worry about, and help forget about how I'm feeling. So, in my dream, I just picked up where I left off, being depressed, and finished the job.

I haven't self-harmed in over a year, and only did it once in the year and 4 month period i was with my girlfriend, and for the first time in a long time, except on anniversaries of my sister's death and her birthdays, I really have the urge to cut. I don't know why. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for reading.

[Love.Hate]

Well your doing so well, a year is truely amazing.. it would be a shame to ruin that.

I have had dreams about self harm too.. i think its because its what you used to rely on to get you through in hard and difficult times. So when you broke up with your girlfriend that was your bodys natural instinctive thing to think about.. even if you werent concious of it.

Dont let the dream trigger you or stop you from fighting this horrible thing. Your a strong person, resist these urges and it will make you stronger.

I know this might sound weird... but if your the type that likes to help people then why dont you try and counsel or help yourself? Dont get caught up in depression fight it.

Stay strong. Im always here if you need to talk<3

[georgiamay]

I often have dreams about self harm, particularly if I haven't done it for a long time. I've had ones that seemed so real that I had to check my body when I woke up to make sure I hadn't actually done it.

If you've gone a year without self harming, throwing all that away because if a dream would be such a waste, even if it was triggering. I've had a lot of dreams that have made me wake up wanting to hurt myself.

You've resisted the urges for a whole year already, you've proved that you can stop. So keep fighting the urges, and you'll get through this.

[SilenceForSilence]

Thanks guys. I'm still a little scared because I still have the urge, even now, and I thought it would be gone, but It's not. I'll try not to throw it all away. I don't know. I'm A little surprised. I don't even believe that I'm depressed, despite what people tell me. Maybe. I don't know. I'm a little confused right now. Thank you again.

[Triceratops]

Dreaming about self-injury was very common for me, and the dreams were all usually quite similar. Most involved me slitting my own throat or my stomach and pulling my intestines in order to use it as a noose. A dream which was so relevant to me at a particular time was when I cut my own tongue off in class to prevent me from speaking, and then throwing it towards the front of the class. I am so certain it had something to do with trying to hide all my secrets from everyone around me, and doing everything I could to prevent people from knowing anything about me and what I was doing.

These sorts of dreams normally occur when I'm going through a really dark phase or I'm trying to avoid something in my life.

[Syvelocin]

I had very few self-harm dreams. I had a dream that I slept on one of my razors, and I woke up (in the dream) and it had dug pretty deep into my back. I don't remember much else though.

What really got me was that I constantly dreamt about being hospitalized. Sometimes it was the same hospital I always went to, sometimes it was a bit different, but I dreamt and still do dream about being in an asylum or hospital. Dreams do try to tell you something. It's your unconscious mind let loose to freely communicate with you. We don't always know what it's trying to say. It could be anything from, in my case, that I want to go back to the hospital badly, to thinking you should drink less soda pop or something random or trivial. I have nightmares, I believe, because my unconscious mind knows what I fear and what freaks me out, and I think it's to point out exactly what it is, and that I might need to make some changes.

So in the same respect, your unconscious mind might be remembering the self-harm, knowing that it used to be a habit that helped you. But I've found you just have to teach it that you don't want to self-harm, you're above that, and it's not the best way to cope with your problems. Your brain might still think it's your coping mechanism. To do that though, you firmly deny the urge to self-harm, and actually say that you don't want to do that and you do something else, whatever it is, to feel better/let out your frustrations/de-stress/etc. even when triggering dreams come up.

My psychologist is teaching me how to tell my brain that I don't have to be scared of certain things, such as my hallucinations that also haunt me in my dreams, so it will know that I'm not supposed to be scared then, but I'm supposed to be happy. And it's been working a bit. Maybe it's the same type of thing?

Just an idea though. You don't have to listen to this lunatic if that's how I sound. :P

[SilenceForSilence]

No, you don't sound crazy at all. I understand what you're saying. I'll try to do that, i guess, It's just that self harm doesn't really bother me except for the fact I know you can get addicted. I'm kind of numbed to being scared about it though.