The Joker
May 21st, 2011, 04:10 AM
Regardless of whatever method I use to interact with my dad, I always seem to end up in the wrong. I can't quite ever be right with him. It's rather possible to have a discussion with him. There are three scenarios that happen when I try and start a conversation with him:
1. I try and start a conversation with him out of the blue, and he gets panicked and freaks out regardless of what I'm saying/as if what I'm saying is urgent.
2. I try and ask him when he's available for a conversation, and I get the answer "Let me think about it", which is some sort of code of my dad's which actually means, "I was planning on thinking about it, but it slipped my mind and it will never happen".
3. I tell him that I have something to tell him later, to which he panics from the moment I give him a warning, until the moment I tell him. He assumes that whatever I have to tell him is horrible.
You seem to have to schedule conversations with him, or else he gets confused and upset. My dad has had mental illness problems for a while, and he's showing very early signs of dementia/losing it.
He's also stated many times his beliefs about gays-that they are the primary AIDS carriers, that he approves of gay marriage because it "keeps the AIDS between them", and that he believes it is a choice. Of course, without even knowing it, he's been backhanding insults to me for a long time now. He's under the impression that I only bring up gay people to 'troll' him, but he doesn't seem to understand that I'm genuinely concerned about his beliefs.
His reaction to finding out that I'm an atheist?
"Where did you learn this from? Satan camp?"
I was basically informed afterwards that I'm only doing this to rebel, and that I'm stupid and should know that Jesus is real.
Another subject that comes up often is the fact that he practically refuses to defend me if someone places blame on me for something. If someone at my school has a problem with me, it MUST be my fault. My arm being broken was all my fault, apparently. I was still villified for it, even though I had actually apologized to the guy who attacked me, I had received nothing in return. It's been one year, and I still have a fucking scar while that punk has nothing...he got off scot free. My dad continues to support everyone other than me.
A conversation my dad had with my mom when I wanted to change schools:
Dad: He's not going to be changing schools anymore.
Mom: Do you know what he thinks about it?
Dad: It doesn't matter what he thinks.
Fucking wonderful, eh? It obviously doesn't matter what I want- I obviously am not allowed to do what I want, I have to live life according to his plan for me.
My dad has completely lost his backbone. He used to be a cool guy able to stand up for himself, now he lets his girlfriend control everything about him. He's become whipped.
Now, my dad has been absolutely obsessed with my school grades and how I do. Of course, when I suggested that maybe he should put away money for me for university, guess what the reaction I got was? He practically laughed in my face. Every single time I make an effort to get involved in something, he stalls long enough for the thing to be irrelevant, or it just ends up taking a longer fucking time than it needs to. I had been trying to get skating lessons since June last year, and he finally signed me up in March.
He's trying to fucking control me. Every time I try and bus out to Vancouver, he gets freaked out. We live in the shittier, lesser known (on the international scale) city in British Columbia, so sometimes I like to go to Vancouver because it's A) more interesting, and B) more proffesional/they do a better job in general in treating consumers. He won't let me get a job to be able to pay for my own things, either.
I wish I didn't fucking care, but I do. Every opportunity I try and use to make something of myself is shot down by my dad...normally I would just say, "Fuck it", but this is my future and he's currently the one who controls it...I don't like it. He's well intentioned but he's not the greatest parent. I just wish I could enjoy my Summer without being bitched out for wanting to get somewhere in life.
Sorry, this is strayed all over the place. It's later, I'm tired, and I wanted to write this quickly because I'm not using my own computer.
1. I try and start a conversation with him out of the blue, and he gets panicked and freaks out regardless of what I'm saying/as if what I'm saying is urgent.
2. I try and ask him when he's available for a conversation, and I get the answer "Let me think about it", which is some sort of code of my dad's which actually means, "I was planning on thinking about it, but it slipped my mind and it will never happen".
3. I tell him that I have something to tell him later, to which he panics from the moment I give him a warning, until the moment I tell him. He assumes that whatever I have to tell him is horrible.
You seem to have to schedule conversations with him, or else he gets confused and upset. My dad has had mental illness problems for a while, and he's showing very early signs of dementia/losing it.
He's also stated many times his beliefs about gays-that they are the primary AIDS carriers, that he approves of gay marriage because it "keeps the AIDS between them", and that he believes it is a choice. Of course, without even knowing it, he's been backhanding insults to me for a long time now. He's under the impression that I only bring up gay people to 'troll' him, but he doesn't seem to understand that I'm genuinely concerned about his beliefs.
His reaction to finding out that I'm an atheist?
"Where did you learn this from? Satan camp?"
I was basically informed afterwards that I'm only doing this to rebel, and that I'm stupid and should know that Jesus is real.
Another subject that comes up often is the fact that he practically refuses to defend me if someone places blame on me for something. If someone at my school has a problem with me, it MUST be my fault. My arm being broken was all my fault, apparently. I was still villified for it, even though I had actually apologized to the guy who attacked me, I had received nothing in return. It's been one year, and I still have a fucking scar while that punk has nothing...he got off scot free. My dad continues to support everyone other than me.
A conversation my dad had with my mom when I wanted to change schools:
Dad: He's not going to be changing schools anymore.
Mom: Do you know what he thinks about it?
Dad: It doesn't matter what he thinks.
Fucking wonderful, eh? It obviously doesn't matter what I want- I obviously am not allowed to do what I want, I have to live life according to his plan for me.
My dad has completely lost his backbone. He used to be a cool guy able to stand up for himself, now he lets his girlfriend control everything about him. He's become whipped.
Now, my dad has been absolutely obsessed with my school grades and how I do. Of course, when I suggested that maybe he should put away money for me for university, guess what the reaction I got was? He practically laughed in my face. Every single time I make an effort to get involved in something, he stalls long enough for the thing to be irrelevant, or it just ends up taking a longer fucking time than it needs to. I had been trying to get skating lessons since June last year, and he finally signed me up in March.
He's trying to fucking control me. Every time I try and bus out to Vancouver, he gets freaked out. We live in the shittier, lesser known (on the international scale) city in British Columbia, so sometimes I like to go to Vancouver because it's A) more interesting, and B) more proffesional/they do a better job in general in treating consumers. He won't let me get a job to be able to pay for my own things, either.
I wish I didn't fucking care, but I do. Every opportunity I try and use to make something of myself is shot down by my dad...normally I would just say, "Fuck it", but this is my future and he's currently the one who controls it...I don't like it. He's well intentioned but he's not the greatest parent. I just wish I could enjoy my Summer without being bitched out for wanting to get somewhere in life.
Sorry, this is strayed all over the place. It's later, I'm tired, and I wanted to write this quickly because I'm not using my own computer.