Do you know how to judge whether people are truly homophobic or not?

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Most of the people I went to high school with seemed homophobic in my opinion. They often used homophobic slurs and tended to talk about homosexuality in a derogatory and hostile manner. I have told that to people online; however, they have told me that just because people use such slurs it does not mean they are homophobic; they may only be joking have no intention to be malice; and that they probably only talk that way because everyone else does and they simply want to be accepted.

[Nihilus]

It's hard to tell. I'm homophobic to a moderate degree and I tend to avoid using those slurs. Most people say those to fit in with the mainstream crowd.

[Syvelocin]

I absolutely hate those words. When did gay become a synonym for stupid? It's insulting. Fag bothers me too. Now, to me, a fag is a cigarette, but just knowing the American definition of fag, and hearing people call each other fags is upsetting to me. A lot of the time it isn't even to call them gay, but just another word to call someone.

Not everyone who uses the words actually are homophobic though, which aggravates me, because that just means that they adopted this new homophobic lingo because everyone else is saying it and not even thinking about how words affect people. Some don't mean harm, but they are still causing harm. To me, I stay away from any controversial words to call someone (for instance, I get riled up when people call things or people retarded. Maybe because I have relatives with down syndrome, but it's still not right) and any jokes that involve religion, race, and sexuality. Of course, I have to be honest that I do enjoy the occasional Christian joke, but I would never tell any and that's usually just in fun anyway as I have some close people in my life who are nothing like that stereotype. Anyway. I just think it's better to be safe than sorry.

[MustangRacer35]

The only real way to judge how homophobic someone is to ask them what their thoughts are on homosexuality. I use to use those terms as a way to say something was stupid but I no longer do.

[Boxerbriefs96]

So, bacically you are trying to judge the judgers. That's even a harder thing to do.

[theatregeek]

I don't believe someone is homophobic until I hear them say that they don't like gay people at all and doesn't see them as equal. If someone uses a slur, I often just think they're ignorant and don't know the impact of those slurs.

[ShyGuyInChicago]

I don't believe someone is homophobic until I hear them say that they don't like gay people at all and doesn't see them as equal. If someone uses a slur, I often just think they're ignorant and don't know the impact of those slurs.

Do the slurs bother or even offend you?

[Mewp]

I dislike the term 'faggot'. Fag is fine, but I think the former is much more guttural and hateful sounding. But as other posters have said, many people use the slurs without homophobic intent: it's best to just straight up ask. Depending on the situations 'Yeah, and fucking what!?' works.

[Apollo.]

I hate the word faggot or fag, although I can usually tell of someone is really homophobic or just a stupid kid trying to fit in

[theatregeek]

Do the slurs bother or even offend you?

They bother me somewhat when they are used hatefully or to imply intent to hurt. I will sometimes tell the person that it's not really correct to use them and most of the time they are genuinely sorry.

[Sogeking]

I dislike the term 'faggot'. Fag is fine, but I think the former is much more guttural and hateful sounding. But as other posters have said, many people use the slurs without homophobic intent: it's best to just straight up ask. Depending on the situations 'Yeah, and fucking what!?' works.

I hate the word faggot or fag, although I can usually tell of someone is really homophobic or just a stupid kid trying to fit in

On the Internet or on real life?