Why do I try?

[Magenta]

When there's so many reasons not to? It's only day one because I carved "fat" into my thigh yesterday. Today, I posted that dreaded picture in my album and blog in hopes of seeing myself as others saw me... but it's only worse.

Everything lately is falling apart. My high is gone. It was three days. I'm supposed to go out tomorrow. How can I if I'm limping from cuts and miserable again? Why do I bother trying to do anything?

I dunno what this post was for. Sorry for posting so much lately all over the psych ward. It's the only place I can talk. I was talking to a close friend today but even then I couldn't talk to her anymore. I don't know why. Only you guys understand. There's less pressure here.

[restricted NA]

I can't say I fully understand the pain u must be going through. You need to keep living on with life, perhaps find a trustful person that you can tell these things to before you actually do them. I know its hard to find someone that you can trust, but there is someone. We are all here for you :) you just need a person that u can talk to in person.
You should go out, if anyone asks then either tell them or perhaps say you fell or something. It's not good to hide things but u do need to get out and have some fun.
I hope this helped, good luck u are strong :)

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

I also have the word fat carved into my thigh and i empathise with you and its horrible when everything feels like it is falling apart, but this is not the end. i know im not the best advice giver but i have a quote that seems to always help me when im feeling low
:Not everything is going to be picture perfect…
things sometimes take time, and have many rough
things to go through before you can get there, but
if you give up on the things you want…everything
you’ve gone through ends up being worthless.

i hope this helps hun and im always here if you want to talk:)