Learned Mom is Adopted

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

A few years ago, I remember hearing my mom tell someone she had been adopted. I never really believed her because my mother has a history of lying, until my dad and I compared notes on the story we heard from her. We came up with the same facts. Well, we know she wasn't lying because if she had been lying, her story would have changed a bit as she told different people, and she looks like she is from the country where she said she was adopted from.

I actually feel really happy knowing I'm not related to the people who I originally thought I was blood related, because all of them are a bunch of whack jobs..anyway... all these years I thought I had the same ethnicity as my so called " family" , but now I learn my blood line is from a whole nother country.but, even though i'm happy not to be related to them, I feel like I just lost half of my identity. I don't know one side of my families history, and it actually trouble's me. I guess I want to know who my mothers biological parents are. Like what do they do, and are they sane people? I wonder why they didn't keep my mom, but I wouldn't be around today if they didn't put her up for adoption. And i'll never get those answers because my mom and I don't keep contact, and even if I tried to get information from her...my mother really isn't mentally...um...stable.


Is there a way I can feel like im fully me, and not just a person who's looking for the other half of them self?

[DerBear]

truthfully speaking you are still related to them as the legal binding contracts say so but i know what you mean chances are the family who gave your mum up for adoption could be worse

p.s i found thiis stroy hard to understand

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

Lol, sorry about it being hard to understand..when I typed that up, it was about midnight my time.... I guess you're right though, my blood family could be worse...I guess I just want to know who they are.

[DerBear]

well you could try and ask around but it is your mums approval you need as she has to choose to look for her parents not you

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

I don't think she'd even know..plus I haven't had contact with my mother in years.....

[Ambrosia]

You're mother was most likely put up for adoption from a poverty stricken family, depending on which country it is you're speaking about. You don't need to feel like you have lost your own identity, afterall you're not the one who was adopted, she was. You know who both your parents are, and you know exactly where you came from. If you are THAT intent on figuring things out, go to that whack job side of the family and ask her parents (the adoptive ones).

You're young so you don't really get the whole aspect of adoption, I suppose. She was probably adopted before she was even a year old, thus her adoptive parents ARE in fact her REAL parents. A parent is not someone who is blood related to you, they are who raised you. The people who molded you (Whether it be good or bad) into the person you are. I wouldn't dig too deep into this because it honestly doesn't matter anymore, not to sound rude. The only thing it really has to do with you is your ethinticity. Simply research the country she is from, add that to your identity. You're still exactly who you were before you figured it out, only now you have a little bit more of a unique touch to it. If your mother wishes to know more about her past, it's up to her to figure it out. And if she has nothing to do with you anymore than I recommend doing as I said above and just looking up facts about said country.

I highly doubt her biological parents really want to meet her, if they haven't already. I'm not trying to sound cold, or cruel, or anything, but it's just a plain fact. Depending on which country she is from it is a very good bet that it would be impossible to ever find them (Seeing how many countries just throw children into the adoption places) and they had a very good reason for giving her up.

Be proud. You're unique. You're the kidlet of an adopted lady.