PressurePressurePressure

[HandheldOutlaw]

I've gained most of the weight back.
I feel disgusting. I feel awful.
"You'll feel better when you're at the right weight. You'll feel healthy." they say.
I don't feel healthy. I feel fat. Fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat.

I feel like I'm suffocating. This pressure is killing me. It's too much.
I feel heavy. I feel like I'm dragging. Jiggling.
The more I hear "You look great" the more I wish I could go back.

I miss thin.

[Lil Ill]

Its hard, but you can get to the size you want in time. I was heavy but then my mentor worked with and talked with me.
I join a sport and a youth group, the young marines. Just try not to overthink it, you get there I believe in you, because you sound like you really want.

[HandheldOutlaw]

I'm recovering from an ED. I don't think I clarified that very well.
I've gained a lot of the weight back to be back to my "ideal" weight.
Everyone is saying I'll look better, I'll feel better.
I don't think I look better. I think I look fat.
I feel fat. I feel really heavy, even though I'm close to my ideal weight zone.
:/

[Fiction]

I know exactly how you feel, but you know truthfully you do feel better at the weight you are. You're not having to worry about food so much and I bet you look so much better.

I know it's a big pressure to have to keep going, to not to go back but it's also a huge pressure to go back. It's a huge pressure to have food on your mind constantly and to have to keep worrying about it. You can keep going Lauren, you know it's for the best in the end.

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

I know every time i hear a "you look better" my brain just thinks "how could you let yourself get so fat". trust me though even though its alot of pressure at the moment things will get better. you gradualy think less about food and have time to concentrate on other things and its better to be healthy.

stay strong hun

[HandheldOutlaw]

Thanks so much guys. <3
Sorry for being so late, the past week's been hell.
Recovery=down the drain.
Some stupid girl commented on one of my Facebook pictures (also my profile pic, I believe) and noted (subtly) that I gained weight since she last saw me. It really set me off and I've been hiding all of my food and "eating" in my bedroom again.
:/

[Zebra143]

The pressure to become thin these days is unreal. I'm 5'5 and 160 pounds. I have friends who are taller than me who are skinnier. I want to be like them. But, I want to be healthy too.. :/

[Magenta]

I hate when friends accidentally set you off again. Recently, a friend jokingly poked me in the tummy. I was horrified. I kept wondering if she was making fun of my weight because there was something there to poke! I know she wasn't but it still triggered a relapse.

You can get through this. I know it feels like you're only getting "better" for other people but I think that you know this is good deep down. :hug: