Faris makes a comic.

[Magus]

It reads from left to right, then down from left and so on.

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/9628/completepage1.jpg

http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/4606/completepage2.jpg

[JunkBondTrader]

I like this, Faris. Your artwork reminds me a little of Daniel Johnston.

[Spook]

Lol. This reminds me of VT. :P

Except it is not an evil empire. :D

[JunkBondTrader]

Except it is not an evil empire. :D

Do I detect a hint of VT-political subversiveness here? Be careful, the gestapo are watching! :P

[Dimitri]

I enjoyed it.............

[darkwoon]

Ah, err... mmm...

Regular boxes: Basic rule of comics - don't dimension your drawing boxes randomly. A poor layout will not be engaging to follow.

Speech bubbles: Text in the speech bubbles should stay consistent in size. Use a single size for "normal" speech, resizing up/down only to mark special tones, like shouting or whispering. Moreover, try to size your bubbles so they fit the text. Suggestion: draw your texts in black with a white background - its readability degrades more nicely than white-on-black when resizing the picture.

Drawing: I'll be honest - I had a hard time figuring out what happens in most squares. In most cases, background is also absent without any other way to guess where the action actually takes place. I believe the art doesn't fill the necessary role it should play in a comic: show what happens to the reader without having to describe it.
There is a rule-of-thumb to check if the art is ok or not when it comes to comics: remove all the text, and check if you can still understand what's going on.

Scenario: There as well, I didn't find the story very understandable... I'm still wondering what the "drilling" on page 2 is supposed to be/mean. Or who is doing what. I believe there are way too many ellipses, and those are furthermore not sustained by the drawing itself (i.e. the art doesn't help guessing what the text omitted).

I admit I've a quite negative opinion of your comic. It seems to have received too little care both in its art, its "scene cut" and its technical presentation. I believe the base idea (but I'm not even sure I understood it properly!) was good, but it would deserve two full pages and a couple more hours of work to improve its overall quality.

Hope you won't stab me with a poleaxe after I wrote all this, though! ;)

[Magus]

Ah, err... mmm...
Regular boxes: Basic rule of comics - don't dimension your drawing boxes randomly. A poor layout will not be engaging to follow.
I would've done that, but my Scanner does some strange stuff to my scanned pictures. Resizing will damage the whole thing. So, I had to sacrifice a bit.


Speech bubbles: Text in the speech bubbles should stay consistent in size. Use a single size for "normal" speech, resizing up/down only to mark special tones, like shouting or whispering. Moreover, try to size your bubbles so they fit the text. Suggestion: draw your texts in black with a white background - its readability degrades more nicely than white-on-black when resizing the picture.I used a brush, so I didn't take care of that. But that was interesting.


Drawing: I'll be honest - I had a hard time figuring out what happens in most squares. In most cases, background is also absent without any other way to guess where the action actually takes place. I believe the art doesn't fill the necessary role it should play in a comic: show what happens to the reader without having to describe it.

There is a rule-of-thumb to check if the art is ok or not when it comes to comics: remove all the text, and check if you can still understand what's going on.I don't know about you, but the one with the evil face is the only one that doesn't have a background. I believe you can understand what's going by just looking at the characters.

1. Hero gets introduced.
2. He finds the empire.
3. He finds himself in a shopping district, from that empire, and a random mysterious dude tells him to get out.
4. Soldiers comes and takes the Hero.
5. They have taken him to the Empress, which is obviously an A.I with a robotic avatar.
6. He sells his soul.
7. He became a Soldier(obvious from the cape and the helmet), becomes egotistical of his power.
8. He walks in some place, and sees some people(Punks, obvious from their design) causing a commotion.
9. He destroys them(which is obvious from the "drilling"), and gives a long smirk.
10. He is summoned again, and now is banished by the empress for misusing his powers.
11. He is thrown into the oblivion.
12. He wakes up, and founds out that it was all a nightmare.

How hard was that? Even little kids would understand that story.

Scenario: There as well, I didn't find the story very understandable... I'm still wondering what the "drilling" on page 2 is supposed to be/mean. Or who is doing what. I believe there are way too many ellipses, and those are furthermore not sustained by the drawing itself (i.e. the art doesn't help guessing what the text omitted).It's all obvious, I don't know how you don't know what the characters are doing.

And the ellipses here are representing a pause or an unfinished taught, actually, there is only two of them, and there are more than 5 exclamation mark - you lost your creditability.

I admit I've a quite negative opinion of your comic. It seems to have received too little care both in its art, its "scene cut" and its technical presentation. I believe the base idea (but I'm not even sure I understood it properly!) was good, but it would deserve two full pages and a couple more hours of work to improve its overall quality.It took me 2 hours to finish the drawings, an extra hour for scanning, another hour for editing in photoshop. But yeah, I did a sloppy and a quick job here, it would have been better if I spent at least two days working on it, but that's me, the procrastinator.

Hope you won't stab me with a poleaxe after I wrote all this, though! ;)Who said I am a pikeman? I don't thrust and stab. I am a swordsman, I gash and slash.

[darkwoon]

How hard was that? Even little kids would understand that story.
It's all obvious, I don't know how you don't know what the characters are doing.
Ah, well, indeed, I'm probably not enough in comic reading to properly "get" them anymore. Sorry to have wasted your time and patience with senseless rants - that was obviously a bad move of my part.