control

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

everything seems to be crashing down around me and i cant even look in a mirror anymore without feeling like i want to brakedown. ever since i was dumped by my ex, even though he says he didnt and has put the whole blame on me, everything seems to be going shit. when i look in the mirror all i see is a fat, worthless excuse of a person and i have been obsessive over my food intake and losing weight. i know that its stupid to let my ex make me feel like this but i cant seem to stop myself and i want control again. i know have the word fat carved into my thigh and the only time i feel relaxed is when im bleeding and feeling like im cutting all the fat away. my anti depressants dont even seem to make a diffrence anymore and i cant stop all the dark thoughts in my head and i feel like im gonna brake. i just dont know what to do anymore.

[Fiction]

I know exactly how you feel. Weirdly... I broke down crying in front of my mirror the other day and then carved fat into my thigh... anyway.

If you're on meds that means you're getting help right? Maybe go back to your doctor and ask for councelling or something? It may help you to vent everything your feeling and stop you from breaking down :)

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

there was a disagrement between me and my psycologist so i dont see her anymore and i have no one else to talk to. i just want everything to stop and slow down, i hate myself so much right know.

[bambino]

hey paula

i'm in a similar situation...broke up with my boyfriend of like, years. And hes now with a pretty girl and wont speak to me. Gee okay so ill just tell you everything and be vulnerable and you throw it back in my face and ditch me okay great!
Gosh shes so pretty as well, like Angelina Jolie but more petite.

I see them everywhere..and normally throw up after.
i know thats weird .. :/

never felt more shit about my appearance.


anyway-you are not alone. What anti-depressants are you on? you can talk to all of us!
Please do not include your msn address in posts- Fiction
or PM me
really hun, we're here to help and listen xx

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

yep and i just found a post saying "only a fool would ever like u"

cant remember the names of the anti depressents im on.

[bambino]

what a vindictive thing to say, he would only say that to intentionally upset you...
in which case hes not worth all the hurt ..

also he obviously found you attractive to go out with you in the first place! so also a lie

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

but i cant see that i just keep thinking about how worthless and fat i am. its all i can think about and my dark thoughts keep coming back. i cant take this, i just want thing to stop

[bambino]

i know its tough, but just think how good you'll feel when you beat this. treat yourself, get your hair or nails done, buy a new wardrobe! anything to bring your mood up

dont let him make you feel this way. Act like you don't give a shit and he'll soon realise he made the biggest mistake and it will be too little too late for him! you'll find someone who loves you for you, just as soon as you can start loving yourself

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

thanks

[bambino]

anytime hun, hope we helped : |
feeling any better?

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

not yet but i hope i do soon im just so tired if u know what i mean

[bambino]

yes, please dont do anything stupid and hold onto a positive thought
i hope you feel better soon hun, i know its rotten

[rissa-_-]

i know exactly what you're going through. last year i starved myself because I thought I wasn't the right size, and felt insecure. But my friends kept telling me if I keep starving myself i'll die. and that's when I knew I didn't want to go down that road just yet. live your life to the fullest!

[BrokenXPaperXDolls]

thanks for the responces, my supossed best friend hasnt been answering me even though she promised and i cant help but wonder what i did wrong. last night was hard and i think the hunger is the only thing kepping me sane at the moment.

[Fiction]

Maybe you should find another psychologist? You had a disagreement with one but there are always others.