Turns out

[MadManWithaBox]

I do die anyway. And I didn't have to do a thing. Oh the.... Irony is it?

[FullyAlive]

What's wrong Matt why are you going to die?
:hug:

[Spook]

..........?

I'm not sure if this post was meant to be understood. ^_^

[MadManWithaBox]

I have 6 months left to live apparently. 8 at most. My chances of living past that are low, apparently. Fucking A class.

[anonymous53]

What happened Matt? :|
*hug*
Is there anything that they can do? Specialists you can see?

[Spook]

Oh my god..what happened??? :O

[MadManWithaBox]

I could do the treatment. And get maybe 2 more months being sick and weak and pathetic.

[FullyAlive]

:hug: I don't know what to say. Have you talked to your family?

[anonymous53]

Well, Matt are there any experimental treatments yet? It's worth the try.

[MadManWithaBox]

Well I don't know. But I'm not going to die like that.

[FullyAlive]

You have to try something though? You can't just give in.

[MadManWithaBox]

Seems like I can actually.

[FullyAlive]

No Matt that's not the right attitude and you know it. You have to fight, fight with everything you've got.

[anonymous53]

You can fight it. Look online for specialists of what is wrong with you. Fly to them, and try your hardest to get better

[Syvelocin]

Matt, what exactly happened? Did you go to the doctors and get diagnosed with something?

You can't just let it run it's course. There are days I don't want to take my meds, so it might come sooner. But I know that everyone would prefer to prolong my life if the option is there. So I take the medicine for my parents, for my friends, if not for myself. Please, try something.

[MadManWithaBox]

I won't die like that. Pathetically scrambling around like a fucking desperate animal. I'm going to die with dignity, on my terms.

[Syvelocin]

There's no difference. It might seem like it, but killing yourself is no more dignified than dying of a condition. Less, in my book.

[MadManWithaBox]

I'm not going to kill myself. I'm giving up. This is it. I'm gonna go peacefully the way I want.

[Syvelocin]

Matt, what do you mean? You sound like you are going to kill yourself. How are you "going to go the way you want" then?

[MadManWithaBox]

I'm not going fight it. I'm going to let it happen.

[Love.Hate]

Matt you can't just let it happen. You have to fight, come on show us all how strong you are. Your not leaving yet, take the meds. It won't make you pathetic, it will show everyone how strong you are. Please Matt think about this.

[MadManWithaBox]

I'm not having chemotherapy, or radiotherapy, or anything like that. If it'd cure me, maybe I would. But it'll only give me a few more months, so no.

[bdon]

PRAY, just pray to God or whomever

[Magenta]

Oh no, Matt. I'm so sorry.

If you won't fight for yourself, can't you fight for us here? For me? It hurts to see you want to give up like this. You're one of the first people I'd consider going to when I had been in a crisis in the past. You mean a lot to me. Please don't just give up.

[MadManWithaBox]

There's no point in fighting. I'm dead either way.

[Magenta]

Well, in that case (though I highly disagree), I can certainly be here when hugs and support are needed. Honestly, anytime. Just drop me a message and I'll be there for you. <3 *hugs*

[MadManWithaBox]

This entire life has been a giant waste really

[Magenta]

I don't think so. My dad recently told me something. We were discussing why he enjoyed being a police officer and how a lot of people just did not want to be helped. But he told me "the one person you do help out of the hundreds you can't is what makes the job and life worth it".

Think of the people you have helped in whatever way. Maybe you can't see it but I can and others too. Your life has been far from a waste.

[MadManWithaBox]

There's so many things I wanted to do. Now I can't

[anonymous53]

Matt, do you want to know how you can do them?
Fight it. Survive. Beat it. You can do it :) :hug: I believe in you. Your life hasn't been a waste.

[Magenta]

You can't do them because you're giving up. The Matt I know doesn't give up. The Matt I know would do the treatments and make the most of the extra time. Make the waste you perceive your life to be into something you can be proud of.

But remember that no matter what, we are proud of you for what you have achieved in your life so far.

[MadManWithaBox]

This isn't a Surivable condition. So there's no point in fighting.

[Magenta]

Well you still have to make the most of the rest of your life. At first it may seem like you're mourning your own death. You go through the stages of grief but I think you'll realize that sitting around and giving up isn't worth it. Live your life the best you can and that's all anyone can ask.

[Triceratops]

Is it alright if I ask what condition you have?

[MadManWithaBox]

It's brain cancer. Basically. I zoned out out for the rest of it, my mum took all the details and shouted a bit.

[Sith Lord 13]

Matt, a friend of my mother's got diagnosed with a form of bone cancer with four months to live. No shot of recovery. She's alive and in remission 2 years later. You just have to fight. There's no such thing as an unwinnable battle.

[Triceratops]

Holy shit, I'm sorry to hear that. :/

Matt, a friend of my mother's got diagnosed with a form of bone cancer with four months to live. No shot of recovery. She's alive and in remission 2 years later. You just have to fight. There's no such thing as an unwinnable battle.

^ This.

[MadManWithaBox]

I'm in the hospital this morning at 12. If I get in the 20%, the odds are flipped around, so I'l take the treatment. But 20% isn't really in my favour.

[Love.Hate]

Im really glad your going to take the treatment. You can pull through this, you just have to believe. <3

[Malcolm Tucker]

Matt - I've had family members survive P<5% odds so there is absolutely no point in giving up. Just see how it goes tomorrow, but you're best option is to fight with everything you've got. You fight there's a chance you'l live, you don't fight there's no chance. Think of it like that. :hug:

[MadManWithaBox]

It was mixed news from the hospital :/

[Malcolm Tucker]

Which was?

[MadManWithaBox]

Because I showed early symptoms, and it's not quite as bad as they thought, 90% survival rate. But it also means I'm a lot sicker than I was. And to get in the 90% rate, I'm gonna need treatment.

[Magenta]

Matt, that is great news. I think that 90% is something you should aim for. You said yourself, there are things you want to do with your life. You do have a chance. :)

[Malcolm Tucker]

Because I showed early symptoms, and it's not quite as bad as they thought, 90% survival rate. But it also means I'm a lot sicker than I was. And to get in the 90% rate, I'm gonna need treatment.

Get in the treatment. No ifs, no buts, get in there (to be very Irish about it). Matt, 90% is MASSIVE chance from mortality. But this has to be taken now. If for no other reason than to show you're capable of fighting!

I dunno if you'd be eligible but my friend did a new form of chemotherapy in Belfast which has little to no adverse effects, so I'll ring her tomorrow and ask about that and let you know. Supposed to be amazingly effective too.

[MadManWithaBox]

I think I will. Although I'm not looking forward to the treatment anymore than I was. Apparently I might lose my hair. And about a million other side effects. Fucking great.

[Magenta]

When it comes down to it, hair can grow back. Death can't be reversed. 90%, as Michael said, is huge. I'm proud of you. The treatment won't be easy but you've survived everything so far, you can survive this too. :) *hugs!*

[MadManWithaBox]

All this worry is killing me. Dear god, I feel like breaking down and crying and never moving again.

[Magenta]

I think it's human to want to break down and cry. There's nothing wrong with crying. Cry as much as you want because it may make you feel better. I can offer hugs! I like offering hugs. :D

[MadManWithaBox]

I can't. Can't break down. But this is so much, I can't.

[Spook]

We're all here for you, and I can say that you WILL survive. You'll live to have a a family, do all the things you ever wanted to do. :)

"FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again....even though every time you've tried before you've lost

Remember? But you won't lose.
Please do not double post, use the edit button- Fiction

[Sith Lord 13]

Matt, I'm not gonna lie to you. Chemo sucks. I've watched people go through it. But you know what? IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY. Once you beat it, you get to get off the chemo. :D You can do it, I know you can.