Experiences with Help

[Blujay]

I've noticed that a lot of people here have had experiences going in to the hospital or with counselors, friends, what not. So I was wondering how people dealt with certain things.... here's just a bunch of random stuff I was wondering about, you don't have to answer all of the questions.

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital?
Do you have a counselor? Think they help?
Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
If no one knows, do you wish they did?
Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm?
(added questions below)
Do any of your classmates know? How did they react? Do they treat you differently now?
How long did it take for someone to first realize you self-harm?
Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of cutting?
Ever been medicated for depression/self-harming related reasons? Did/does it help?
What's the most helpful thing someone has done for you to handle your self-harming?

Experiences/stories in general...?

[anonymous53]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital? My best friend at the time. Katie. She tried to help me get better, eventually when I became suicidal she dragged me to the school counselor to get help. I was admitted into a mental clinic.
Do you have a counselor? Think they help? I did, she really did help. A great person
Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse? It depends on the people. The accepting people, yes.
If no one knows, do you wish they did? No, I hide it from 90% of people
Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm? If I knew they self harmed.

Experiences/stories in general...? I was admitted into one hospital, a local one for the first time. The conditions were horrible and I was beaten by the other children in there. My parents had to call the state police to get me out of there.
The next hospital I went to was a lot better and helped me a lot.

[Ambrosia]

The first person who ever found out was a friend of mine at the time around four years ago. I had only just started cutting my shoulders and I had never ever made myself actually bleed. My shoulder sleeve road up my arm, she saw, and pulled me out of the way. I was freaking out at first, but then she showed me her scars. It was the most embaressing thing ever.

I don't like people knowing. They judge, scrutinize, pitty. So many human emotions that just go against everything I want people feeling towards me.

The ONLY time I tell people is if:
>I discover someone has cut for the first time. I can talk people out of ever doing it again just by showing them the SCARS from FOUR YEARS ago. When they see that they re-think.
>Any male whom might ever have to see my legs (In my case, all two of them)

[georgiamay]

The first time I was found out, it was my parents when my dad yanked my sleeve back. What did he do? He shouted at first, but only because he'd just found out his daughter was slicing her own skin, so I suppose I'm not surprised. He didn't know what else to do.

Then my RE teacher found out after I'd had a rough lesson, and it just went from there. She was nice about it and talked to me for a while, but she had to tell my head of year, because that's kind of the rule.

I've never been to A&E, but whenever I see my therapist, it's in a mental health hospital.
I don't have a counsellor, I have a therapist. I didn't think counselling helped me at all. I just got worse. My therapist has actually helped me a lot though, I'm surprised at how much she's helped.

I think the reason that the counsellor didn't work, was because it wasn't like I was going through something aweful in my life. I think counsellors help if a loved one dies, or if you've got a lot of stuff to deal with and you just need to talk to someone. But when it comes to mental health issues, they're useless.

I don't know if I'm glad my parents know. I'm kind of glad I'm on therapy, because I know I'd be so much worse if I wasn't, I think I probably would have killed myself by now. When my parents first found out, I did get worse at first. It was like I had nothing to hide, so I just went a little bit crazy. I knew I had nothing to hide, but I still refused to talk about it with them. I half wish there was a way to still be in therapy if my parents didn't know, but that's against the law because I'm under 18. Plus, if they didn't know, how would I explain to them that I'm not going to wear a bikini on holiday?

If I needed medical attention because of self harm, I would tell someone what I'd done, and that's the only circumstance really. Or if someone asks about my cuts/scars and doesn't believe my excuse, and they've guessed anyway.

[bambino]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital?
a friend noticed first, asked, I lied and they forgot about it or pretended to. I've never been to hospital for self-harm, I've been offered but they're not awful. I just clean them and bandage them.

Do you have a counselor? Think they help?
yes, not particularly but I'm on a waiting list for someone who's more specialised so hopefully not stuck with her much longer.

Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
it can be good and bad; some people are more understanding. But similarily some people will distance themselves. But I would definitley reccomend telling a doctor or trusted family member

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm? if a doctor or counsellor asked

Experiences/stories in general...? self harming on and off for 2 years, currently having counselling and going on meds soon
(:

[FullyAlive]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital? My assistant head teacher, she made me show her, then phoned my mother told her. She made me see the school nurse and go see her regularly too. No i've never been to hospital i don't cut deep enough for that.

Do you have a counselor? Think they help?I will have a counsellor pretty soon. I'm very doubtful in what they can do for me if i'm honest.

Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?In some ways its easier i don't have to think of excuses as to why i cover up, in many ways its a lot harder i have so many people watching me, expecting things from me. It was a lot easier when MY self harm was just MY problem.

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm?If they self harm themselves, if they are considering it or something similar, if they've guessed anyway and if i've had an "accident" and need some help.

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

Who first figured out you self-harm?
A friend, she saw my cuts in class soon after starting to cut
What did they do?
she confronted me later in private, and confessed she had in the past
Have you ever been to the hospital?
No, i don't cut that deeply
Do you have a counsellor?
Yes
Think they help?
Too early to tell, only had one session
Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
Depends. It means i have people i can talk to, but they also tend to check on me a lot
Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm?
When you feel you can't cope or it gets dangerous.

[derkderpderp]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital? My teacher in year 6, she spoke to me about and i was taken out of class regularly to see a counsellor the school called in.Ive been to A&E twice, both because of attempted suicide, both times i came out alive, just broken and shaken.

Do you have a counselor? Think they help?
I do have a counsellor, she does help, she helps me to idk put simply believe in myself and not self harm as much and shes always suggesting different ways to vent?

Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
I dont really tell others, it freaks me out, i get paranoid that they will use it against me etc (i told a 'friend' once and she used it against me), but then again my counsellor knows, as does my Assistant Principal, so if theres something wrong they know where it could end up given my history so they help?

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm? If they told me they self harmed, or if someone who self harmed or was thinking about it or suicide came to me for help as people tend to do in college.

Experiences/stories in general...?
When i was in year 11, i was 15, my anorexia was dangerously bad, i was getting bullied, i was changing and i wanted to end my life, i tried to, but my counsellor got me in time, and convinced me not to, pretty messed.

[Syvelocin]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital?
My stepdad. My mum was out of town at the time, she had just left that morning, and he called her. I've been hospitalized too many times for me to count, but usually it isn't only because I self-harm. It's usually some mixture of the bipolar disorder, hallucinations, and anorexia, but I've made some cuts that have actually landed myself in the hospital.

Do you have a counselor? Think they help?
I have a brilliant psychologist. The best professional I've ever spoken to. It took 8 different professionals to get to her, but completely worth it.

Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
I don't think it makes it worse. Certain people knowing, yeah. But anyone who knows me well enough have been able to guess it without me telling them, so those people just learned to accept it. Everyone else found out by seeing the cuts, which isn't quite as pretty.

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm?
Anyone who comes to me with the issue or a similar one, anyone that I feel very close to, anyone who is seeking to help me.

Experiences/stories in general...? About a year ago, I cut myself the worst I ever had. They were pretty bad, needed stitches and all. I had an ambulance called on me, however. So I went to the hospital by ambulance, got the cut sewn up, and I had to sit in suicide watch, followed by the typical week of short-term hospitalization.

[Fiction]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital?
My boyfriend was the first person to figure out I self harmed. He threatened to break up with me and then told me he didn't care, but i've had friends since that have found out and been much more helpful and understanding.
I've been to the hospital for overdosing before, not self harming.

Do you have a counselor? Think they help?
I did have a counselor for a short while, and i'm still not discharged but I have an "open appointment". Meaning if I want to go and see him I can, but i'm not made to. He didn't help me at all, he actually made me worse but that doesn't mean every counselor is bad...

Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
I think it depends who you tell. Some people who have found out have just made me feel worse, others have been really kind and supportive. It really does just depend who you tell. Make sure it's someone you can really trust.

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm?
Close friends if I need someone to talk to, or I told my mum after i overdosed in case she found out while I was in hospital. I wanted her to hear it from me first. Then i was made to tell the hospital. The only other reason i'd tell someone is if someone told me that they self harm.

Experiences/stories in general...?
I never thought my parents would find out. I never thought i'd overdose and end up in hospital, but it happened. I didn't expect it, so just because you don't think you'd do it, doesn't mean you wouldn't. It was the worst way for my parents to find out and the worst way to get help. Not only for my parents but for me too. It was pretty traumatic. It's much better to get help before it gets to that stage, believe me.

[Blujay]

[ update: added some new questions ]

[georgiamay]

Do any of your classmates know? How did they react? Do they treat you differently now?
A few friends from school know. I don't remember telling them, and I don't remember gow they found out... They just know. Idk, I'm quite confused. :P The only way they treat me differently is they look at me funny if I ask to go to the toilet during lessons if I've been particularly fidgety that day; it's a telltale sign that I want to cut.

How long did it take for someone to first realize you self-harm?
My dad found out after 2 weeks. It was the last day of the school term and I was wearing a tube support thing to hide my cuts, and my dad asked if it was to get out of PE. I said no, and then he sort of freaked out and yanked it up. I still wonder sometimes how things would have turned out if I'd said I was trying to get out PE, and just took it off and hid them by folding my arms. He probably wouldn't have noticed.

My RE teacher was a different story. She was always asking me if I was alright and stuff, and a few months before she found out, she kept me behind after the lesson and said "It seems like there's something going on with you, and you can tell me what it is," or something to that effect. I said I was fine, like you do. And then a few months after that I had cut at lunch, and in the lesson I asked to go to the toilet so I could sort it out, and then she kept me behind again and said she could see that whatever was going on with me was getting worse. I said I'd done something stupid at lunch, and she kind of just knew. This happened about 3 and a half years after I started self harming.

Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of cutting?
Quite a few times, yes.

Ever been medicated for depression/self-harming related reasons? Did/does it help?
I've been asked to take it several times, but no, I didn't accept it.

What's the most helpful thing someone has done for you to handle your self-harming?
Just being there tbh. Just being there for me to vent to if I needed it.

[Fiction]

Do any of your classmates know? How did they react? Do they treat you differently now?
A few of my friends know, and i just get the odd "how are you doing?" every so often. No one really treats me differently in the bad way, no one worth keeping anyway.

How long did it take for someone to first realize you self-harm?
My boyfriend realised within a few days when my sleeve accidentally came up.

Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of cutting?
My boyfriend does this pretty much daily. A few friends have managed to too, but as more of a distraction. One of my friends once rang me up while she was drunk crying, that stopped me...

Ever been medicated for depression/self-harming related reasons? Did/does it help?
Nope.

What's the most helpful thing someone has done for you to handle your self-harming?
My boyfriend, giving me a reason to stop.

[Syvelocin]

Do any of your classmates know? How did they react? Do they treat you differently now?
Yeah, quite a few of them do. My theatre class is extremely close. We're pretty much a family now. And during Discussion Friday (something we do every week. Basically, we just talk, about whatever the "seed" happens to be for that week). One of the Discussion Fridays happened to land on TWLOHA day, and the girl who chose the seed for that week picked TWLOHA, and also showed the music video for Between the Trees' The Way She Feels. So really, as people were talking about support and such, some people started to open up about their self-harm issues, and I just ended up following them as well. The replies I got from it, all-in-all, were very supportive and caring. I made some friends through that as well, as people who were scared to come out came to me, and we formed a bond. They don't treat me all that differently, they're just a little more... aware, and concerned I guess.

How long did it take for someone to first realize you self-harm?
Heh. An hour or two. My stepdad was too smart. I had them hidden and everything, but he got suspicious.

Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of cutting?
Kathy did! :P

Ever been medicated for depression/self-harming related reasons? Did/does it help?
I've been on a handful of antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and anti-psychotics. I didn't like any of them, and ended up refusing medication altogether except I do take my Remeron sometimes, but it was prescribed for my insomnia.

What's the most helpful thing someone has done for you to handle your self-harming?
Be there for me, quite honestly. Be there to talk, to give advice, and just be an amazing friend. My English teacher in year ten, specifically. She gave me advice that I still think about and share with others now.

[FullyAlive]

Do any of your classmates know? How did they react? Do they treat you differently now?
Quite a lot of my classmates and friends know, most guessed some of mine are hard to hide. For a long time they did yeah, they'd stage pathetic little interventions whenever they saw something new. But now I've managed to get it much more private, thank god. However one still notices, not the physical side but how I'm feeling sometimes that's nice other times it's fucking annoying.

How long did it take for someone to first realize you self-harm?
I was confronted by my assistant head 6 months after I started. Someone reported it, I don't when they figured it out.

Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of cutting?
Only a few times, never properly I'll end up cutting later on anyway.

Ever been medicated for depression/self-harming related reasons? Did/does it help?
No

What's the most helpful thing someone has done for you to handle your self-harming?
My assistant head, giving me someone to talk to, listening, understanding, finding techniques and breaking the rules just for me.

[Magenta]

Who first figured out you self-harm? What did they do? Have you ever been to the hospital?
I told my dad while screaming at him one day. He said he already knew. He sort of said it would deal with itself. And yes, I've been an inpatient twice.

Do you have a counselor? Think they help?
I have had four therapists, three psychiatrists, three social workers with Child Services and have worked with countless child and youth workers. I have never once encountered one that has truly helped me.

Do you think other people knowing is helpful, or does it make it worse?
If no one knows, do you wish they did?
Some people who know honestly help but then it only extends so far. After awhile, they leave me.

Under what circumstances would you tell someone that you self-harm?
I'm usually angry and don't realize what I'm saying.

Do any of your classmates know? How did they react? Do they treat you differently now?
I've lied to all my classmates when they see scars. They don't know otherwise.

How long did it take for someone to first realize you self-harm?
A few suspected. They waited for me to tell them.

Has anyone ever managed to talk you out of cutting?
A couple close friends. Usually I'm just too exhausted to get up and get my blades.

Also, on here, Kathy and Rith have talked me out of many things, not just self-harm. And that's just to name a couple.

Ever been medicated for depression/self-harming related reasons? Did/does it help?
I've been on Prozac, Mannerex and Seroquel. Seroquel gives me a hangover and makes me feel like I've been hit by a truck. The Prozac didn't work and so far the Mannerex isn't either.

What's the most helpful thing someone has done for you to handle your self-harming?
Just listened and calmed me down and helped me with first-aid in the middle of the night.