You know that time

[MadManWithaBox]

When you can't be bothered? That's the stage I've reached. I'm tired, literally and mentally. I haven't got the energy to carry on line I used to. All this shit, Its too much for me. I spent my life trying to be like sir Winston Churchill. Carrying on, never giving up, always believing in final victory. But you know, it's 18 Years. And I haven't seen it yet, I haven't. On top of all that, I got 40 odd stitches this morning after attacking myself. What a stupid thing to do. It's all a bit wearying you know? I'm tired. Bloody waste of time, I feel like just stopping, I really do. But like Churchill said KBO, I guess.

[Fiction]

I know how you feel. I pretty much feel like this at the moment too. My motivation has gone out the window and I can't motivate myself to do anything, but you're right. We have to KBO because life does go on. If we end it now we never have a chance to see it get better. We never have a chance to see what could be. We're ending it for what is now, and that could all change. Whether it changes suddenly tomorrow, or slowly over the next few years, it will change.

You did so well getting so far without self harm, and it showed real strength. I know you have the strength to do it again Matt, whether you believe it or not.

[MadManWithaBox]

But how do we know it'll get better? How do we know we're not buggering on for nothing?

[REGRET]

I certainly know that feeling.
But you know what? It does get better. You just have to keep believing it.

[bambino]

never give up. Start off small, find joy in the little things.
If you laugh at a joke. If you accomplish anything no matter how small!
simply that you're here now proves you're stronger than your demons.

Stay strong hun

[MadManWithaBox]

I don't know if it's like. I just can't try anymore. I have no reason to. Waste of time.

[Fiction]

We don't know that, but we can hope. There's always a chance for change, and things have always got to change in some way, because our lives will never stay the same forever.

Matt you've been through some horrible stuff, it can only get better from here.