Kiss
May 9th, 2011, 04:50 PM
So I really fucked it up today didn't I? Well done, me. You really know how to do that. Seems I can never get over stuff like this. Last time I did it was just after new years. I knew I couldn't make it through a whole other year without doing anything like this, I never could. Ever since I was 13 I knew I couldn't do it, which is why I still have Scarlet.
I don't know what came over me today, i've been having extreme mood swings for the past week or two and that's normal for me, I guess.
But the fact that I had been resising and fighting urges for months just made it all better. The feeling of finally letting it touch my skin to make that sudden downwards slash. I can't stop now. Now it's going to be the way it was before. I just had to do it, too much stress getting to me, everything's getting so serious, I needed to get my mind off it.
I'm sorry. And it's getting hot here aswell. People are gonna notice, parents are gonna start sending me to therapy again. I fucking hate therapy. There's nothing wrong with me, I just need a bloody hug and for them to stop treating me like shit.
about 30 -mostly shallow.
So I guess I can just carry on crying now?
I don't know what came over me today, i've been having extreme mood swings for the past week or two and that's normal for me, I guess.
But the fact that I had been resising and fighting urges for months just made it all better. The feeling of finally letting it touch my skin to make that sudden downwards slash. I can't stop now. Now it's going to be the way it was before. I just had to do it, too much stress getting to me, everything's getting so serious, I needed to get my mind off it.
I'm sorry. And it's getting hot here aswell. People are gonna notice, parents are gonna start sending me to therapy again. I fucking hate therapy. There's nothing wrong with me, I just need a bloody hug and for them to stop treating me like shit.
about 30 -mostly shallow.
So I guess I can just carry on crying now?