Self harm section too trigerous?

[Nevermore]

Now I'm not triggered by this, but recently I've found that some people are taking what others are doing it and trying it themselves. I do find it triggering sometimes when I go even in the self harm calender, and see wow these people went 1 cm or above deep and in my head I'm like why can't I? I know it seems stupid, and I probably should stay away from it, and I might, I"m just saying I'm sure other people feel the same way. I don't see the purpose in the self harm calender. I can see the non self harm calender I've gone this many days. I just feel like it's a contest to some trying to out do the other person, and I don't want that to happen. It was like with the the Eating Disorder forum when the BMI was taken down, it's the same sort of thing, competition. Another thing I think should be a suggestion is the types of posts. I know there are rules, but I've seen some that are now question how did you do that? And them saying I"m going to try that as a response. I don't know what we can do to make the post quality better, but I think it needs to be less triggerous. I know that the post I just posted in the Non- self harm ways I don't know but it seems again offering tips and tricks to other members. Oh here's another way to hurt myself let's try it.
I was on another forum and found their rules on ED and SI and it seems like it would help.
http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/showthread.php?threadid=75
I don't know just check out the rules they are strict but make sense.

[Fiction]

I tried to get the self harm calender deleted a while back, I only managed to get it unstickied because too many people like the self harm calender, but I totally agree with you.

I think it should be deleted.

[Nevermore]

Ah I wondered why it got unstickied for it. Well to be honest I used to like it, and posting about it. Until I realized what it was doing to me and everyone else subconsciously.

But like the other site the thread gets locked for suicide notes. Because what can you possibly do other then refer them to help? You can't hug them, and sometimes people don't need that, they need tough love in a way. I don't know, but it's another way to help people in a way that I think would be most beneficial. Even though I'm more of a hugger, it just seems to work more I found at other sites.

[anonymous53]

I kinda agree about the Self Harm post. I just avoid it as much as possible because it triggers me.

[FullyAlive]

I used to use it, and it never really triggered me.
But just recently what is being asked in that thread I could see being triggered. It's no longer just I did this, or sharing support. But people are asking questions too. Idk.
I would agree with you though it has the possibility of being really triggering.

[MadManWithaBox]

If you don't like it, don't look at it. Simple as.

[Love.Hate]

If you don't like it, don't look at it. Simple as.

I agree with this,

I simply dont go into it anymore, as i used to find it triggering. So it doesnt really affect me if its there or not. I know though at the time it was unstickied i liked and used it.. but my views are slowly changing, as i have realised its not good for me.

[Origami]

VT is enduring a slow decline in post quality and general enforcement. Or so it seems since I've joined. (inb4 you can't say shit like that on VT) I honestly see that thread as nothing more than a way to whore attention to one's self and as was stated in the OP, a method to advocate self harm. It's a useless thread with discussions that might otherwise be outlawed in other parts of the forum.
I agree, it could be triggering to someone reading it, but it's unlikely anything will come to change.

[Fiction]

As a mod we can't just not look at a thread, and I really don't think it as any use as has been said than to glorify self harm. I'm going to bring this up again in the mod forum, showing this thread.

[Syvelocin]

But like the other site the thread gets locked for suicide notes. Because what can you possibly do other then refer them to help? You can't hug them, and sometimes people don't need that, they need tough love in a way. I don't know, but it's another way to help people in a way that I think would be most beneficial. Even though I'm more of a hugger, it just seems to work more I found at other sites.

See, this I've been trying to get implemented. There was talk about adding a rule about suicide notes, but it doesn't seem to be getting done, as this I definitely think should be in place. I don't think they are helpful at all, because the people who are going to kill themselves are just going to do it, and the people posting here are usually just crying out for help and want you to talk them out of it, which, in that situation, it would just be better to vent about it than say "Goodbye, I'm going to kill myself now."

I'm on the fence about locking the self-harm calendar, as I was when it was originally brought up, because it is helpful in some ways. I think it's very similar to the BMI thread, but just a tiny bit different in that it has a point, where the BMI thread was just spam your BMI, including people who aren't typically psych ward users just posting their BMI. I want to get rid of the self-harm calendar because it is triggering to some people, but I want to keep it because it is helpful and useful to some. I don't use it, but I do like to keep a record of that, albeit not on a public forum. So since we're bringing this up again, I'll stay neutral on that one and see what Georgia and Nat say.

[love is louder]

I haven't read all of the posts because I'm on my phone but I've read the first few. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I use it but I don't really read others just keep track of mine. I agree because sometimes I read them and I think there's is worse than mine and I don't feel like I properly self harm. Like I'm a fake.
But on the other hand if your against it that's your opinion and a lot of people use it. It you find it triggers then don't look. Other people obviously use it for a reason and if it doesn't help you you shouldn't try ban it for everyone else.

[georgiamay]

I wouldn't mind if the self harm calender was locked, but I don't think it should be deleted. If any other thread was seen a too triggering (for example, asking for tips etc), I know I'd lock the thread would be locked, not deleted, so that should be applied here. And if someone does ask how the did it, it is against the rules, and a mod will sort it out just like anything. But I agree, it should be locked.

With the suicide notes, I'd say that posts that are just "I'm off to kill myself" should be locked/deleted, cause it effectively is attention seeking, cause they never seem to do it. If they vented about why they wanted to, it would be a lot more useful to them, and considering this is a help site, it's a lot more appropriate.

[-Silence]

The Self Harm Calender has gone very far from what it was meant for. I had it in my diary and when I deleted my diary Cody posted one in the Forum. It was meant for support, not just a bunch of numbers. If you look in the beginning posts people would post their cuts but then there would be support afterwards. It was meant to show people that "Hey, you messed up, but we're still here for you." It was also meant to keep track, that how it was for me anyways, but there's no point in keeping track if there isn't support afterwards.

Also, promoting self harm in any way was always against the rules, whether it be tips or whatnot.

I also find that forum to be triggering but thats because I'm not in that mindset anymore. The thing though is to alot of people that forum is home, thats where their mind is at so that is what feels comfortable. Censoring it too much will take away the purpose and maybe the help.

[Indecision]

I must admit, i've posted in it a few times. But now I think of it, it's stupid.
It's not how many cuts/how deep it is that matters, it's the fact you've cut and the reasons behind, that's what people really need to know.

[JunkBondTrader]

When I modded that section I remember getting several requests to delete that threat. As I recall, me and whoever else was on staff at the time took it up and the decision was a difinitive "keep".

I'm not a cutter, so I can't say whether it's triggering or not, but some people really do find it helpful. The fact that it's been unstickied and yet still remains one of the most popular threads in that forum kind of speaks for itself.

EDIT: Perhaps some kind of VT-wide refferendum is in order?

[Syvelocin]

Kathy has posted an announcement on suicide notes, we will be locking these threads from now on. The self-harm calendar is most likely going to stay.

[JunkBondTrader]

I see. Good point about the suicide notes, something does need to be done. As was said, all we can really do is say "get help" and worry about them for a while.

It is attention seeking, most certainly, but aren't a lot of these people just crying out for help? I worry that banning these sorts of threads could discourage people from posting genuine suicidal feelings. Not that I'm in any way in favour of people saying "I'm going to kill myself and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" but on some level, aren't they just begging to be discouraged? Maybe that's all they want.

Plus, isn't "get help" basically all we can say to any thread about suicide?

[Syvelocin]

Venting about suicidal feelings is still allowed. We want to encourage these kind of posts, instead of posting short, vague threads akin to the example you gave, since these are unproductive both to the person who posts it and the people trying to help them. Venting about the feelings, at least, gives others material to work off of to help them, and they will be getting the help they might have been looking for while venting alone is better for them as well.

[JunkBondTrader]

You're right, I'm just worried that despite good intentions, we will end up discouraging people who have a real problem that they want to discuss.

Is there some way we could make it a policy that mods post the number of a suicide hotline or something before locking the threads if someone's expressing iminent suicidality? I just don't like they idea of turning someone away, even if they are just attention seeking. They could just be crying out for help and need a push in the right direction.

[Syvelocin]

I do like that suggestion, I personally would keep that in mind for when I do lock the threads. It's a good idea, just in case.

[-Silence]

I think thats a poor decision on the self harm calender. There isn't any help in it anymore. Its turned into a competion. If people get upset tell them to make a blog.

[JunkBondTrader]

I think thats a poor decision on the self harm calender. There isn't any help in it anymore. Its turned into a competion. If people get upset tell them to make a blog.

Oh no, I didn't mean for the self harm calendar, I meant the threads that are basically suicide notes.

[-Silence]

No Felix not you. I think its a good idea to atleast put a hotline number in before a thread gets locked. I was refering to the self harm calender staying with no changes being done to it.

[JunkBondTrader]

Ah, I see what you mean now. Sorry, I'm getting mixed up.

[FullyAlive]

No Felix not you. I think its a good idea to atleast put a hotline number in before a thread gets locked. I was refering to the self harm calender staying with no changes being done to it.

But surely now it's been bought to the attention of everyone the mods will be more vigilant of what is said there and check its all within the rules. Not that they weren't before or anything just keep an even closer eye on it all.

[JunkBondTrader]

But surely now it's been bought to the attention of everyone the mods will be more vigilant of what is said there and check its all within the rules. Not that they weren't before or anything just keep an even closer eye on it all.

Well, the problem is that the mods have always kept a close eye on it. When I used to mod that section a few years ago it was still a highly contentious matter. It's not so much that people are breaking the rules but the thread was created so that people could recieve support when they broke down and now, certain individuals just seem to be bragging about it and triggering others.

[FullyAlive]

Well, the problem is that the mods have always kept a close eye on it. When I used to mod that section a few years ago it was still a highly contentious matter. It's not so much that people are breaking the rules but the thread was created so that people could recieve support when they broke down and now, certain individuals just seem to be bragging about it and triggering others.

I know what you mean, it does seem at lot like that. But I guess people who do find it triggering will have to stop looking at it. :/

[Syvelocin]

Locking the self-harm calendar was brought up twice only during my modship. The last time, it stayed because there were some people who were strictly against deleting it. The same goes this time. Whether you think it or not, the self-harm calendar is helpful, and it's not fair to the people who use it correctly if it is locked, as was brought up when we were looking at it again. The people who find it triggering, yes, don't look at it. That is your responsibility as an Internet user. If you are triggered easily or offended easily, you either should be cautious on the Internet or don't go on the Internet at all. I have the same issue, but not with self-harm triggers. We do have to keep a watchful eye on that thread, and we will still continue to do so now. But I can't imagine ever getting the okay to censor this part of the forum further than we already do.