slappy
May 5th, 2011, 12:55 AM
Hear is what is bothering me.
All my life I have been looked at like a freak. I have a condition called albinism. You all know it as being albino. So, I have had that to deal with and on top of that, I'm not the best looking nor the thinest person in the world so I also have that on my shoulder. Like I said, all my life I have been treated like a freak, I have been told I can not do things that I have always wanted to do my hole life. I have for most of my life wanted to be a pilot, adults I knew like teachers just flat out told me I could not do that. So I have had my biggest dream in life shot down at a very young age because one thing that comes with albinism is bad vision. I have gotten used to being told i can't do things because of my vision as sad as it may sound. My school life is shit, lol constant harassment, and jokes, things being thrown at me, that's just the usual day for me. I played football for a year and quit because all of the people on the team where immature and bothered me. Not a day goes by that I don't feel like people hate me, not a day goes by that I don't hear insults about how I look or who they think I am. I always find myself going a different way to classes just to avoid the bullshit from people. I just wanna be a "normal" person, like no one bothering me, no one harassing me, no one throwing shit at me. I'm not a confrontational person, I mean i don't go around looking for fights. I mean, I'm huge yet people still fuck with me, I guess they know I won't get into a physical altercation with them, that's just not me, i know it's just a waist of time. I'm not saying I couldn't hurt them, I could really hurt them, but the thing is 1, i am better than that 2, I would get in more trouble because I'm bigger and the persons friends would say that I started the fight because people refuse to back me up on things like that.I mean I have never been suicidal nor really depressed, the most is I have been on anti anxiety meds because I worry a lot about things, not about me, about other people, that's just how I am. I care about people too much I guess and I tontine take time to think about me, so that's why I think this is bothering me now, because I am finally caring about myself. I know it sounds hella stupid lol. Anyway, I just wanted to vent.
All my life I have been looked at like a freak. I have a condition called albinism. You all know it as being albino. So, I have had that to deal with and on top of that, I'm not the best looking nor the thinest person in the world so I also have that on my shoulder. Like I said, all my life I have been treated like a freak, I have been told I can not do things that I have always wanted to do my hole life. I have for most of my life wanted to be a pilot, adults I knew like teachers just flat out told me I could not do that. So I have had my biggest dream in life shot down at a very young age because one thing that comes with albinism is bad vision. I have gotten used to being told i can't do things because of my vision as sad as it may sound. My school life is shit, lol constant harassment, and jokes, things being thrown at me, that's just the usual day for me. I played football for a year and quit because all of the people on the team where immature and bothered me. Not a day goes by that I don't feel like people hate me, not a day goes by that I don't hear insults about how I look or who they think I am. I always find myself going a different way to classes just to avoid the bullshit from people. I just wanna be a "normal" person, like no one bothering me, no one harassing me, no one throwing shit at me. I'm not a confrontational person, I mean i don't go around looking for fights. I mean, I'm huge yet people still fuck with me, I guess they know I won't get into a physical altercation with them, that's just not me, i know it's just a waist of time. I'm not saying I couldn't hurt them, I could really hurt them, but the thing is 1, i am better than that 2, I would get in more trouble because I'm bigger and the persons friends would say that I started the fight because people refuse to back me up on things like that.I mean I have never been suicidal nor really depressed, the most is I have been on anti anxiety meds because I worry a lot about things, not about me, about other people, that's just how I am. I care about people too much I guess and I tontine take time to think about me, so that's why I think this is bothering me now, because I am finally caring about myself. I know it sounds hella stupid lol. Anyway, I just wanted to vent.