My friend

[Ender]

Well, I've had this friend for a long time. Like, we were best friends all through middle school.. Freshman year of high school I admitted to him that I was gay, and that I liked him. Well, he decided he wanted to give me a shot. Well, after a few months, he just shut me out of his life. Wanted nothing to do with me. Recently though, him and I have started talking again, and going to the movies with other friends, etc. He's even told me that he wants to be close friends again. Well, all of a sudden again, he wont talk to me unless we're with other people. Wont talk to me on FB or skype, wont text back, etc.

I'm worried im maybe being too clingy. But at the same time, I really want us to be friends and I dont want things to just end.. I still like him, alot, but I dont want things to go down the drain again, so I'm really just trying to be a good friend.

Should I just leave him be and let him start talking to me more when he's ready? Or should I just back off a little bit, but still message him now and then to see if he wants to talk?

Thanks in advance..

[Kaius]

Well Trae, from what you've said he may have felt a bit strange having his best friend fall for him and that might be what causes him to only speak to you now in a group, he might feel a bit weird/awkward if you're alone together and maybe a bit on the spot. Maybe try going out with him in a group and taking him off to the side or speaking quietly to him and trying to sort it out a little. It might help than keep trying to push it onto him via fb/msn etc. It seems like he does want to be friends again but it might just be the awkwardness coming out a little.

[Ender]

I forgot to mention; when our thing ended, we did talk maybe once or twice (sooo awkward), and he told me he was very very straight, and only did it, because he thought it would make me happy.

Oh my god why do I always have to ruin my best friendships???

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Aaron; good advice, I'll definitely keep that in mind.

[Contra]

I agree with Aaron, it sure is the best way to do it. You can't expect that after all that time not talking to each other, he would just start talking to you out of nowhere, especially given what happened between you two. When you talk to him, say things don't have to get awkward, you can just be friends and put the past behind you.

I forgot to mention; when our thing ended, we did talk maybe once or twice (sooo awkward), and he told me he was very very straight, and only did it, because he thought it would make me happy.

If he was in a gay relationship for that long, he should at least have some feelings for you and not be that straight. But if it is really true what he says, then that is a friendship you'd want to keep. :)

Good luck!

[Trevoooor]

I'm gonna have to agree with Aaron also. Awkwardness may play a big factor.

But, from what I've learned over the years, these things have a way of working themselves out with time, but it also requires cooperation from both you and him. You can't force him to talk to you. But, it helps to initiate a conversation here and there, both in person and on Skype and whatnot.

Hope everything works out! :)

[Scarface]

Well Trae, here we are lol. He seems very confused with himself. Especially by what you have told me. I definitely am not one to communicate over the internet unless there is absolutely no other way of communication as there are so many things that can go wrong online. Misinterpretations of words on the internet, it's just not the same for me to express myself over a screen. So maybe it would just be best to meet up with him and person and really have a talk.

To be honest, I would hate that constant ping pong battle with the friendship. It sounds like it's a lot of confusion and mind fucks all in one person and honestly; you deserve better. That's purely my own opinion. Just give him some space and then approach him in real life and start up conversations, if he refuses maybe it's just time to really think about what really draws you to this person enough to let him walk all over you like a door mat.

You need to be honest with yourself and him in order for you two to be friends. Just take it slow, and see what happens. Nothing happens right away. You know I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Peace.

[Ender]

Hey guys, since i posted this he has actually started out of nowhere messaging me, talking about hanging out more in the near future.

Hopefully things stay on the positive side for awhile. He's a good friend, really..

Thank you to Aaron, Ron, Trevor, and John. You guys are awesome :)

[Scarface]

Hopefully it's consistent. Better late than never with replies. Peace.
:cowboy: