He doesn't care

[Sterling26]

I just got really pissed off at my best friend because he never makes any attempt to hang out with me, like we do hang out a lot but if i wasn't making all of the plans i feel like i would never see him. this is in the sexuality section cause im a bit interested in him, and i'm not sure if my wanting him to make plans with me is expecting too much of him for just a friend? btw he says he's straight but he's always been very comfortable around me, almost to the point that i wonder if he's a bit curious as well. what should i do? should i just stop making plans with him and see if he actually cares enough to want to hang out with me?

[anonymous53]

Eh, don't do the mind games. Just keep it the way it is. I'm sure he cares :)

[Sterling26]

well i know he cares but i feel like he doesnt care nearly as much as i do, like if i have a problem i go to him but all he does is vaguely mention his problems but never elaborates when i ask him to, thats part of the reason i got an account here was so i wouldnt have to go to him as much

[anonymous53]

He just might not feel comfortable talking about his problems with people. A lot of guys are raised in a way where it's better to bottle up your emotions.

As my father says "Emotions are weakness. Don't let them show or you're worthless."

[Sterling26]

i dont think its as much he has a problem with showing his emotions as it is he used to get really emotional about stuff so he started therapy, and now he's moved to "im not going to display any non-calm emotion to anyone, i'll just save it for my therapist", so its frustrating when i want him to display some passion about whatever problem i have and he acts like he's my therapist, always perfectly calm and never giving any opinion or information about his problems. it's so freaking frustrating

[caden048]

dude just put it this way i was in the exact smae position u are and i didnt kno wtf to do. so i asked a friend (girl) of mine and she said to tell him how u feel....I did and now things between me and him are awesome and i can tlk to him about litterally anything....tell him how u feel.

[iamniokekun]

Let him go. If he doesn't come back, he was never your friend to begin with.

It works a lot better than it sounds, actually.

[Sterling26]

so i drove him home yesterday and i didnt talk to him in the car so he suspected that i was mad at him. i decided to tell him that i felt i made all of the effort and was the only one that cared in our relationship, and he understood how i could feel that way, but he didnt think it was true. he said the only reason i always make the decisions is cause he's genuiinely happy doing whatever i want to do. that being said, i told him that it makes me feel awkward to always be taking the initiative so he said he'll try more now, and he made some plans to hang out with me next week. he's really an awesome friend, he just isn't especially self aware, but i love him regardless of that :)