I don't know what to do! :(

[rachy]

*sighs* Ok here goes..

A couple of weeks ago my bestfriend and I went to a Sixers basketball game. He was my bestfriend so everything that night seemed to be fine, though my mom had noticed that he was trying to "make a move" on me though I didn't notice, I was busy thinking about my boyfriend hehe.. Anyway on the ride home from the game everything was fine, until we got to my house. I walked him over to his truck to say goodbye and I gave him a hug. Then he started touching my ass and I pulled back but that was when he shoved his hands down my uhm pants...

I couldn't get his hands outta my pants and I backed up a couple of times to try and get space between us but nothing worked.. When he was finally 'satisfied' he got in his truck and left.. When I went back inside and changed I saw blood and that was when I started to cry.. I just bawled for at least an hour.. All I could think about was how stupid I was for not being able to stop it and how I didn't want to "pop my cherry" that way..

When I told my boyfriend he was pissed but not at me, at my bestfriend.. I just.. Couldn't believe it happened... My friend Sam made me go to the school youth councelor with her.. Thats where I found out that my hymen had been punctured...

Here we are weeks later and I'm still being effected from this..I've been distant from my boyfriend and he's been getting frustrated because of it.. I just.. I'm so afraid of everything now.. My "bestfriend" txted me the other day apologizing saying he screwed up but I didn't reply.. I couldn't.. I'm just.. Idk what to do.. I want to be able to keep my boyfriend happy and do stuff with him but I can't because this has been weighing me down.. :(

[Bongokhrusha]

Just Break Up with him.

[moon_lit_angel]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you rachel.! :(

It is an awful thing to go through..!

Your boyfriend is upset that your so called "bestfriend" attacked you.

Of course he loves you and he would have loved to be the one who you first did it with.

He understands he's just angry. Just explain to him how you feel, that you don't want to lose him but your upset and angry at your "bestfriend" for what he did and that you are going to counselling for it. And that things will get better..
Tell him you need him to stand by your decisions atm.

Have you told your parents and/or the authorities?? (police)

Feel free to pm me at anytime hun.. i've been through a similar incident

All my love
xx

[anonymous53]

Your boyfriend still loves you, you did nothing wrong. I'd say your boyfriend is mad at your "friend" not you at all. I think your "friend" needs to be taken outside of philly to a small field where your boyfriend can kick his butt. I'd say ditch the friend. If he keeps trying to talk to you then tell your boyfriend. The best thing you can do right now is get counseling and talk to people about it.

Remember; it's not your fault. At all.

[Josiah7]

I agree, If i were your BF Id be pissed as well, im sure its not at you tho.

That shouldn't have happened. Its wrong. It is really good that you went to see the YC. I can understand you being upset about it. Im sure the majority of people would. I would avoid contact with this "best friend", and if you feel so strongly aboutg it. Report it to the Police, and get him charged. That was a serious offence and the police will be able to go through the options. They may also put in place a restraining order, so he cannot contact/come near you.

I saying that its all up to you, do what you feel is best for YOU. Keep talking to people here, that are here to help. I know its tough but you can get through it. I would recommend talking with your BF about it. Stay Strong.

[Spook]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would suggest that you take Josiah's advice and call the police.

He had no right to do that especially as he knows you have a boyfriend, and he should be charged. I know that you may not want to disturb your friendship with him, but what he did was wrong.

Oh, and just for a little comfort. You did not lose your virginity unless there was sexual penetration, which hands do not count. So don't worry about saving for your first.

[Josiah7]

Oh, and just for a little comfort. You did not lose your virginity unless there was sexual penetration, which hands do not count. So don't worry about saving for your first.

Exactly, many girls break they hymen during sport - its not uncommon.

[rachy]

That's what my YC was saying about it also, which I was glad that I didn't lose it to my "bestfriend." But at the time when it happened I didn't realize that and I thought I did which is why I was distraught heh.. The other day my bestfriend txted me and apologized for what he did but I haven't spoken to him just because I don't want to talk to him. I haven't since the day it happened and I don't really wish to talk to him. I don't want to involve the police just because it's too much ya know? I wanna focus on myself and just keep him outta my life.. As far as me and my boyfriend go, well were going through a rough patch in our relationship and I mean ROUGH! :( things just aren't what they used to be and it makes me really sad :'(

Thank you all so much for the advice, I appreciate it so much!

-Rachel

[anonymous53]

Rachel, if you don't want to involve the police tell him directly to not contact you ever again if he keeps trying to contact you I think you should let your boyfriend settle it the way we settle stuff in Philly :) Yes, I am suggesting let your boyfriend beat this guy up. He deserves it. You and your bf will make it through the rough spot, he is just upset.

[rachy]

I guess I'm going to have to do that haha and that sounds like a very nice idea! Haha I'll be sure to tell my bf to do just that xD

[anonymous53]

Hey, it'll get his frustration out, you'll feel safer and the guy gets what he deserved XDD

[rachy]

Yea the more I think of it the more it seems like such a great idea haha :D

[fanox]

Wow. I'm so sorry.

However, having him beat up is not the answer. It will only cause trouble for your boyfriend, if the police happen to get involved with that incident.

What he did to you is considered sexual assault. Which personally I'd report to the police, or maybe a SRO (School Resource Officer).

You can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).

However, if you tell him to stop contacting you and he won't, maybe consider getting a No Contact Order against him?

[rachy]

Thanks so much, I mean he hasn't contacted me since so I mean I'm ok with everything right now.. But thank you for everything above, I will keep it in mind if need be!