Molested and it's concequences.

[JackShephard]

Basically, at age 4, I was molested by my babysitter's husband. I was in the bathroom and he came in to "help" me. Yeah he touched me.

I remember trusting him so much. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that someone who I considered the replacement for my dad who was out of the picture at the time, used me in a way that would come back to haunt me. I bothers me. I can't sit in the front seat while a trusted adult is driving because I keep running a hypothetical situation in my head that involves them reaching over and, well you know. I don't like corners or public bathrooms ether because in the back of my head, I'm scared it's going to happen again even though I know it's unlikely. I even have trouble having sex sometimes even though I want it.

But wait, there's more... 4 years later, my cousin molested me. Multiple times. He said that if I didn't let him, he would tell my mom (I thought it was my fault for some reason) and also threatened to hit me. He made me touch him as well. I feel so gross even remembering! I can't shake the feeling. Guys, I don't know what to do. I've forgiven my cousin. I still love him. But I can't forgive Chuck.

What can I do to get rid of these memories? What can I do to trust people again? What can I do to feel comfortable with sex? I just want to let go. I just want to leave it behind. But I can't.

[Quahog]

Have you talked to a professional about this? If you still feel haunted by this event, seek professional help. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I hope that you are doing fine, and I hope that you stay safe.

[Deathwingo0o]

Close your eyes and pretend it's a nightmare. Find a partner to talk to wheter you're straight or not. They would help you a lot.

[sarah newman]

That must have been an awful experience to go through. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Try and talk to someone about it, someone you truly trust. Or see a counsellor or a doctor, it is the best way.
I sort of know what you are going through, so if you wanna talk more message me at anytime, im always here. Good luck with what you decide :)

[JackShephard]

Thanks for extending a hand. I have to get my mind on track.

[Josiah7]

Mate Im sorry to hear that :( Listen, what your going through is no easy thing, and should not be done alone. I highly reccomend finding someone you trust and get them to help you through it, by talking about it. Sounds scary i know, but it is better then keeping it all to yourself. Its good that you are open to advice on here. There are always people here to help you. Always. I would recommed seeing a professional - why ? because it will be a big help. Its not emabrrassing, they have heard it all and then some. Talk with someone. Also try and get your mind off it, which I know is is super hard, but give it a try.

If you need anything, no matter what; don't be afraid to conatct me or someone else on here. You can get rid of those memories. Stay strong.

[Fiction]

As others have said, are you getting any help? A councillor or psychologist will be able to help you work through these problems, and hopefully make you feel a bit better about it.

[Spook]

I agree with what they said. Get help from a counselor or phsyciatrist, but I just don't understand how you could forgive your cousin after that. :/

[Sith Lord 13]

You need to talk this out with someone close. Ideally, a therapist or councilor would be nice, but if that's not possible, find someone you trust deeply and talk to them about it. I know it's not easy, but it's the only way things are going to get better.

Close your eyes and pretend it's a nightmare.

Do not do this. Denial is horrible, and just makes things worse in the end.

[tpzy94]

I.m sorry to hear that but its in your mind for a reason...you can't sleep on this experience because your not the first or last to go through this so maybe tell people about this but leave out names or switch it up because you love your cousin. I drowned my sister sophomore year n thankfully she came back to life(thank God all praises go to him) n ever since then i cant shake it because its there for a reason...even if you dont know why but it is.

[JackShephard]

I can't bring myself to even admit it in audible words. My friend being the only exception. It's easier to type it than say it, especially to somebody that I don't know.

And it's hard to forgive my cousin. But I did. Forgiveness was for me. To let it go. Yeah, I'm still upset that I was taken advantage of, but he is important to me. He has apologized up and down and I can tell he is truly sorry. We are good now. Water under the bridge. And I trust that it wouldent ever happen again.

[restricted NA]

Seth I'm so sorry all these horrible events occurred, these thoughts are going to be very difficult to forget. I suggest that perhaps you speak with a professional, or perhaps a close family member like a brother/sister. Its good just to get it out. Don't let it fester in your mind. I can't even imagine what your going through, but once you speak with someone it will help perhaps relieve that constant anxiety you been having, and those disturbing thoughts. Soon with good therapy , you will accept that it wasn't anyway your fault if you already don't know that and then i believe you will be more comfortable with sex. Your strong man, if you can post this story for everyone on VT to see then you can for sure talk to a therapist ( also try to get a female one might relieve tension) good luck, if you want to talk im here :):):):)

[Joshh97]

Try and get it off your mind, you will feel your not alone and its not just you v world, you have someone by your side :)
Sorry to hear what happened, I feel for you.